Anybody else have an insanely angry baby?

[thisisfineihavewine]

My DS is 2 months old, and is the angriest baby. I had no idea babies could be this fucking livid all. the. time.

He has silent reflux which we have omeperazole for which is working well. We’ve ruled out CMPA. He sleeps enough.

He barely ever smiles, and it’s such hard work to get a smile out of him. He always needs to be held, even at 2 months he will hold on with his arms around our necks and grip my hair. I wear my wedding ring on a necklace and he actively seeks it out and clings onto it.

When he has his awake times, he will do 10 minutes or so happy, then turns into an insanely angry screaming baby who just seems absolutely furious with the world.

Anybody else had a baby like this, and does it ever get better???

I have PND and getting great support from family and HV, but I can’t deal with the incessant, constant screaming. Nothing settles him.

We’ve tried huckleberry app, watch his sleepy cues etc. He is fed expressed breastmilk by day (rarely latches as he just gets so so angry and screams until he’s retching) and formula at night as he was waking every 1-1,5 hours on expressed breastmilk and I couldn’t handle it.

It’s getting me so down as there must be something I’m missing or doing wrong. Or perhaps it’s my milk? It’s also negatively affecting my eldest who is in tears by the afternoon due to all the screaming.

If you’ve a family history with allergies, I’d think there’s likely to be an allergy problem you’ve not figured out yet. They’re often genetic. If you’ve already cut out all dairy and soya, I’d work your way down too allergens (I think egg is the third most common in children?) and try cutting them out to see if it helps. Good luck, I’ve been there and it wasn’t fun! Once I’d figured out the strange combo of allergies dd has, she improved overnight

Early evening screaming sounds like colic. Ds1 would scream from 5-8 everyday. Gripe water, Infacol and vented bottles are all worth a try. It's hard. Hope you're okay.

Sorry OP, this sounds so hard.
Does your baby finish his bottles? Is he looking for more? I found breast milk didn’t fill my baby as much as formula, even with the same amount. Could you try giving him more and see if that makes it better?
My baby was an outrageously hungry baby (now 4 months old) and I was taken by surprise how much more than average she needed to be happy and satisfied.

My son had very bad reflux and ended up on omeprazole. He was on it until he was nearly 2 as everytime we tried to wean him off it, he started to projectile vomit.

How much milk does he drink at each feed? That was a big challenge for us as he wouldn't take enough to be full.

We tried cranial osteopathy which did help for the 48 hours afterwards too. It was quite expensive but we prioritised it for a good few months. Worth a try maybe!

It will get better. My son screamed and screamed. Also worse late afternoon/evening. I remember going to afternoon teas with the mums I met at NCT group and they would take it in turns to hold him (he also wriggled and writhed) so I could eat.

You have my full sympathy but rest assured it will improve. He grew into our easiest, least likely to tantrum toddler (to our amazement!)

He won't be "angry" they'll be something wrong. A hungry baby or unsettled could appear angry as that's the only way it's got telling you something not ok. Could it have tongue tie? Or a milk allergy? Constipation? Somethings wrong you need to get to the bottom of it. Seek medical help for the baby if needed

Both of mine had reflux and CMPA, but the second was so so unsettled until 3 months even though she’d been on omeprazole from 2 weeks of age. She changed overnight once I put carobel in her bottles to thicken it up. Even though the omeprazole killed the acid/pain of the reflux, her milk was still coming up and causing discomfort. Might be worth a try? You can give carobel before a breastfeed too.

@IDontDrinkTea that’s a good point regarding other allergens, I hadn’t considered that - I’ll try egg next and see if that helps

@ForeverInADay he does 5oz formula and drains the bottles, I’m about to up him to 6oz actually as noticed this morning washing the bottles that’s his formula bottles were empty.
Breastmilk bottles in the day I do 5oz also; but he does feed far more frequently - We’re using MAM bottles, so I’ll get the bigger ones out and up him to 6oz for both.

@netstaller yes I agree it’s something causing him to be angry - but I feel we’re close to exhausting all options. No tongue tie, I’m sure it isn’t CMPA or soya (been through this with eldest), he does get constipated but it’s a different cry for that and he scrunches his legs up etc.

Someone asked about sleep - I say he is sleeping enough, but really he probably isn’t. He is an insanely light sleeper during the day unless he’s attached to me (I use the sling a lot). He’s fairly good at night - he will scream until he tires himself out, feed him around 10/11, then he will sleep fairly well until 2/3, then back down until 4.30/5 - he never seems to go that long after the 2/3am feed, but the first stretch from 10/11 is usually 4 hours.

Before we got omeperazole we used carobel to thicken his milk, mainly the breastmilk - we have stopped as thought with the omeperazole working he wouldn’t need it... whoops - I’ll start putting it back in his bottles 😬

@ForeverInADay im hoping he’s an easier toddler than baby! My first has been easy and a dream from day 1, even with the allergies, so this is a right shock to the system. I feel a bit sick thinking he could be this angry at everything forever 🙈

Oh OP that is so tough

My DS also had reflux and I found that burping him well, twice as long as I thought, took the pressure of his tummy. Also held him upright quite a lot (in baby-Björn, outward facing) when possible

When he started walking things got a lot better

He turned into a very chilled out child btw

Hang in there

Full disclosure: he’s 18 now and not an angry person at all

He was never really angry, just in pain

It’s not their personality, it’s the pain and discomfort , poor baby

Definitely try the bigger bottles. More milk might actually help if he'll take it.

We swapped to Dr Brown's bottles which I thought helped.

Please do try to feel reassured, this is no reflection of how he will be as he gets older. My reflux screamer is now truly adorable.

You will get past this and you are doing a great job.

Forever thank you, that means the world 🙏

@ChubbyLittleManInACampervan he must be in agony, it’s breaking my heart seeing him so upset. He actually did a full lip wobble before - I ended up crying with him 😞

My DD was like this and had terrible reflux.
She’s a twin and was the smaller of the two but not low birth weight at all (full term).
They were a planned C section and I just had the strongest feeling that she wasn’t ready to come out, sounds crazy but I wish she’d had a few more days in there (not possible as I was already nearly 39 weeks with twins) as when she came out she just looked absolutely pissed off with the world!

Anyway she used to vomit all day long, scream all evening and finally co sleep and feed all night.
It got MUCH better once she could sit up and was on 3 meals a day (routine is crucial for meal times I found). It had all gone away by the time she was 1.

Her twin was the most chilled out baby ever, slept all night from 6 weeks, totally undemanding etc. So it really is about them and what they need.

They are 11 now, total live wires and while she no longer screams all evening, she’s pretty demanding and definitely knows and asks for what she wants!

I'll also add my ferocious screamer is an an absolutely adorable 3year old now. Passionate, knows what he wants littlean but full of cuddles love and patience. You will figure it out and get there definately, and it truly truly isn't forever x

I don’t know about the conditions you mention but this is screaming colic to me I must admit. We had it bad with DS1, less bad with DS2. Always early evening with DS1 and late afternoon with DS2.
With DS2 it was far less bad and although I can’t prove it we did use Dr Browns bottles which have a valve in which lets some of the air out which I think made a difference. DH had a way of holding them which seemed to bring some relief. Back of baby’s legs against his chest, feet highest, and then he would support his head and back with his arms and slowly lift his top half up and down so his stomach would crunch in and then out, that seemed to help him. It started at about 3 weeks and had gone by about 12. No lasting effects at all, so if it is colic I would try the hold, it takes strong arms, and dr brown’s bottles, and dig deep and get through it. Ours definitely screamed angrily rather than cried.

Google PURPLE crying. I remember reading somewhere that crying/screaming starts to wind down at 8 weeks and thinking absolutely fucking not.

Also, look into a yummikeys necklace. I wear mine all the time and it distracts my daughter from grabbing my other necklaces/hair/eyelid/etc.

Sympathies, I hope it gets better soon x

So I thought I’d report back, DS is 10 weeks old now and significantly better! I removed egg from my diet and after a few days he chilled right out, all smiles, no longer any congestion, sleeping 6 hours at night and a huge reduction in screaming!

Thanks for all the suggestions - I am now egg free and trying out vegan cake recipes 😂