Screen time thoughts? Can my baby be in the same room I am watching tv?

[sarah13xx]

Hi all 👋🏼 I’m due this summer and I’m just getting my head round all the routines etc that I hope to (loosely) follow.

I’m a primary teacher (I teach 5 year olds) and have found the biggest issue by far in my class is the obsession children have with technology these days. If I bring laptops into the room they will frantically pace round them asking who’s getting on the laptop?! They can’t focus on anything else when they’re there! If we do group activities on them some children really struggle to get off to go to the next group and will end up in tears over it. When I ask for their weekend news many of them just want to tell me about playing roblox. We were writing about our favourite hobbies the other day and one child said his was playing his tablet 😳 The instant gratification they get from these games with loud noises and bright flashing lights in their faces means they don’t want to sit in school doing a phonics lesson or listening to a teacher for 5 minutes. I think many parents don’t know what else to do so for a quiet life just hand the tablet to them when they get home. I know how addictive it is as an adult so I’m just really glad I was brought up before it all existed and I learned the ability as a child to be bored without needing constant entertainment.

Now as a soon to be parent, I’m wondering how strict I will be 🙈 I know many parents start off saying they won’t give their child devices etc then realise how tough it is and give in. My degree before teaching was in psychology and as part of my course we studied how damaging screens are on children’s brains before 3 years old, so I’m really sure I don’t want to let mine have any, although I know how difficult this will be. If you’re like me, do you watch tv with your newborn in the room? I know this sounds ridiculous but if I’m going to try to avoid baby tv and just stick to songs, nursery rhymes etc (not on the tv), if I’m watching This Morning for example is it bad if he ends up staring at it? 🙈 I’m guessing my mum watched tv when I was growing up and baby tv didn’t exist then, so I’m sure it must be okay but just wondering what your thoughts are?? X

Our TV is on all day, he rarely seems interested (although he does always stop to listen to the theme tunes 😂). It's been like this from day 1 because those early days were long and hard, you'd go insane never having the TV on while baby is with you because baby is always with you. Just don't actively plonk them in front to watch it and you'll be fine. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and enjoy those wonderful newborn snuggles

Nothing bad will happen if your baby looks at the TV.

Our TV is on all day too and my DD won’t take much notice unless the intros to The Chase or Emmerdale come on 😂 We sometimes put baby Einstein or Dave and Ava on for her for a few minutes but she’s not actively interested.

You know that babies don't do anything for months? And that their preferred place is on you? Of course you watch TV. There's nothing else to do at 4am when you're trying not to nod off.

Both of mine have enjoyed The Crown, DD thought parts of Bridgerton were a bit racy though.

I watched TV until they were around 6 mo and then turned it off. I watched in naptimes and evenings.

We only bought tablets in the pandemic and they are between 5 and 9 now. They use them a couple of hours s week, normally to watch TV. My 9yo wants Roblox, I have said no for now.

Just to say it can be done.

We don’t have a tv, but when my first son was a baby (he’s now a teenager) we did watch boxsets on the laptop in bed of an evening whilst he cluster fed and slept.

With my new baby (6months) I have managed to watch one series on Netflix when he was tiny but that’s it. Am trying not to play on my phone when feeding him etc. His main screen exposure is probably his big brother playing on the computer in the living room, and this is something I worry about a bit.

Like you I think that early exposure to ‘baby tv’, tablets etc is really damaging for children’s brains. I find that as adults we find it hard to moderate our behaviour and so how can we expect them too?

You're right. You do sound ridiculous. Your baby will be fine if This Morning is on the tv in the same room as them. There are billions of adults and children in the world completely unaffected by teletubbies/in the night garden/tots tv etc etc...

*to

@KnottedFern I disagree

You're over-thinking things massively and thinking about things in a very black and white way I.e screens = bad so no screens. I too thought like this before I had ds and I used to teach 5 year olds so I completely get where you're coming from but honestly you need to learn to relax.

You'll find your own way of doing things as you get to know your child so there's no point in over-analysing things now. Before I had ds the idea of him eating while watching an iPad really did horrify me and I vowed that would never happen. Well guess what, sometimes he eats more of his tea that way and I get time to wash up in peace so we compromise. 90% of a meal - a permanently tech free family table with lots of interaction and talking, modelling table manners etc and 10% iPad by sink while I wash up. It really is harmless imo. You learn as you go. I'm learning about ds all the time and our relationship is always changing.

P.s I breastfed ds so when he was a newborn I spent almost all of my life watching tv with him 'in the room'. I got through entire box sets while he breastfed constantly! If you are planning on breastfeeding probably best to make peace with that fact that hours of tv while being anchored to the sofa is to be expected! It calms down after a few months.

Our boy is 1 now; other than the occasional 10 min baby sensory programme on YouTube (funky veg being a fave!), we’ve not had the TV on. Up to 4 months ish though, I had no problem watching tv with him on me either napping or feeding. Once he was aware of the tv though, I stopped.
We have friends whose little girls had the tv on all day every day and I do think it has affected them. The oldest is 4 and will still throw a tantrum at bedtime if she can’t have the tablet to keep watching tv in bed, sometimes even waking in the night demanding it! Maybe totally unrelated but we don’t want to take that risk.

Surely it’s not the TV and tablets that are bad in isolation, it’s the many hours of missed play time and interaction with adults that stunts development. So in moderation it’s not a problem.

I was a fiend for kids TV when I was little and I grew up to be a doctor

@Gembie yeah most likely, the difference now I think is the fact everything is so instant. I used to have a small selection of videos and probably one channel on the tv I could watch so would make my own fun watching the same spice girls video for the 10th time and doing dances etc. Whereas now as an adult, I don’t remember the last time I sat through a programme or film without subconsciously ending up checking my phone. If it gets at all uninteresting you just put it off and pick something else, because you have all of Netflix to choose from 🤷🏼‍♀️ Life requires way less patience so we really don’t make the most of things the same, can imagine it will be the same for a child

@SkyTrees you don’t have one? Wow 🤩 definitely couldn’t get to that stage but I’m hoping as long as I avoid giving him an iPad and try not to be on my phone around him too often it will help! I don’t think tv is really the biggest problem either, it seems to be more iPads/phones/games I’m not keen on

@tinseloatcake oh wow, well impressed 👏🏼 I bet they have a way better attention span for it!

Totally agree, times have changed so much. I guess we are the lucky generation as we have had the best of both worlds!

I do think tablets and a bit of background telly are v different things though - I have a 4 month old and he’s never that bothered by what we watch - we talk and play with him loads instead

It depends what the tv is showing more than the screen time itself. I never let.my eldest watch anything on tv till age 1, and then only 30mins a day. By age 3 she was begging to watch paw patrol as her nursery used to put it on as a Friday afternoon treat. She is now tv obsessed and woukd watch all day given a chance. My youngest has been around with tv on all her life. She watches some shows but will often just wander off to play by herself instead of staying with my eldest. Both are limited to specific shows which I deem suitable and they are not allowed any youtube, anything i can't supervise. There is no hard and fast rule, just do what you think is right for your kid and don't worry too much. This generation are digital natives and will live very different lives from us growing up. They will not be able to imagine life without smart phones or the internet

My son's neatly 4 now but TV on when too young to notice so probably 0-4/5months then once more interactive switched it off and just watched when he napped. Then he started to need wind down time which ended up being in the night garden on TV (only thing that worked but worked well to signify bedtime, he was probably 18m by this point!). Now he watches TV morning & evening but will tell you to switch it off when he's had enough/wants to play etc. We've never had iPads etc, he's seen our phones but we don't scroll Infront of him. I will use it to search for a fact if he asks me something and I don't know as to me this is a positive use of technology. He would far rather be outside in the mud or on his bike than sit on a computer.

I'd say it's everything in moderation, try and model appropriate and sensible use of these things as they aren't going anywhere and your child will need to use devices etc, I think for me it's just being a good example of how to use.

You are very presumptuous about screen time... my 5 year old has half an hour of mario gaming a day and plenty of other educational, interesting and physical hobbies and activities. However, should a teacher ask what he likes to do, he will almost always refer to the gaming, giving the impression that is all he does!

Also, don't be one of those people that have the tv on 'in the background' with their babies at home.

DD is 10 months. When she was small I watched lots of Netflix but as soon as she became aware of the TV and turned her head to look at it I turned it off. I put it on during nap times or when she's in bed. If I'm halfway through something I might occasionally watch the last 15 mins whilst she plays, but she doesn't look at it.

I plan to delay screens as long as possible. We put Alexa on for nursery rhymes snd don't put anything on yhe TV for her.

They do have great concentration span tbh

I would have concerns about "in the background" too. My youngest had some issues with his speech and everything I read said you need to minimise background noise which distracts.

My other observation is that there is a scale of behaviour.

• no tv/tablet - play imaginative ly and kindly all day
• bit of telly / film - can entertain selves but but grumpy
• hour on tablets - grumpy whingy and argumentative.

We always opt for telly if having screen time if possible.

I do see why people get sucked into it because they want to avoid that sort of behaviour.

No, It won't affect your young baby if they're in the room while you're watching the telly.

You may naturally begin to create your own rules around tv time as they show more interest. As an example for our 21 month toddler we do let him watch cbeebies over breakfast at the weekend as a treat (and to allow me to get a few jobs done and he's happy without on a weekday) but mostly no other time (unless he's unwell or isolating). We also only put his kids shows on the dining room tv so at the moment he thinks that's the only place to watch it and the living room tv only has boring stuff on it

I'm more concerned about tablets and phones and have managed so far not to draw too much attention to them but we'll see what happens as he gets older and wiser to the world!

We hardly watch TV at all, and only do our main hobby (which is gaming - shock, horror ) when DD's napping or in bed, so she rarely sees screens that are actually on. This isn't intentional, it's just how things worked out. However my mum comes once a week to look after DD for a few hours and likes to have the telly on in the background, always sedate things like Call the Midwife or Edinburgh Zoo. DD does look at it curiously.

Of course this does no harm whatsoever. Why would the image of real people talking and moving cause harm? It'd hardly be much different from sitting her in the park people-watching.

I think it will depend on how much tv you like to watch. As adults, dh and I very rarely watch anything daytime, so it’s been very easy to avoid Ds watching.
Il watch the odd thing on iPad in bath, but he’s in bed by then.