19 month old self soothed and I feel terrible

[AhaShakeHeartbreak12]

DS is 19 months, spent 3.5 hours attempting to settle him (i rock him to sleep after a cup of milk and transfer him to his cot once he's asleep)

He's usually a 12 hour sleeper, but this past week has been relentless as he was poorly and he's going through a regression.

After 3.5 hours of screaming, him hitting, scratching and getting worked up I managed to calm him down and place him in his cot.

I came back into my room and had a huge cry.

Watched him on the monitor, he cried out quietly for one minute and then sat down. He lay down and fell asleep within 7 minutes.

It's not our normal routine but I felt myself getting upset, I'm 6 months pregnant and my back started to hurt from rocking and I didn't want to cry in front of him.

My mum thinks I've traumstised him. He's perfectly fine and asleep, I've checked on him. I feel horrible. I was at breaking point and had to cry.

I don't know why I'm posting, I think I'm just in such a state as I've never seen him self soothe before and I'm worried I've traumatised him now

Your mum sounds the opposite of helpful, op. I'd be sharing less with her in future. 💐

Is dad around? Start getting him to do bedtime .you going to have a new baby soon
Your toddler is fine.
Your mother is bonkers

Please don’t listen to your Mother for parental advice.

@Embracelife

Is dad around? Start getting him to do bedtime .you going to have a new baby soon Your toddler is fine. Your mother is bonkers

Agree with this. My husband started doing bedtime with our toddler when I was about 6 months pregnant and couldn’t put DS down without lobbing him in😂

@Sexnotgender dad works night, does the bedtime routine on his 3 off which is a massive help. He can't switch to days It'll get easier I'm sure

Your mother’s an idiot.

Sometimes I have to leave dd to self soothe. She's 2.5yrs old now but on occasions she gets very worked up at bedtime and like yours she will get to the frustrated hitting/scratching stage. At that point if I stay in the room there's no way she'll settle. She doesn't want me to leave either but when I do she'll scream relentlessly for a for minutes and then start to calm down. Sometimes they need to be left on their own to work through their own emotions and decompress. If she calls for me in a calmer voice then I'll go back to her but sometimes she'll just fall asleep by herself like yours. Your child won't be traumatised. Learning to self soothe is a valuable life skill which they wouldn't learn unless left to their own devices.