I dont want baby to sleep in cot!

[Mn345678]

Hey

Am I weird? Im a first time mum, I have a lockdown baby and so its pretty much been just us since she was born.

We use a next to me and now that shes 6 months she should be moving into her cot.

I just love the next to me so much that I dont want to move her! I love waking up and seeing her cute little face.. or touching her hand in-between sleep and knowing shes there right beside me.

I feel like If i now get a cot even though it’ll be in the room i will no longer see her every time i open my eyes to look or touch her hand.

Has anyone else felt the same or is this being dramatic? Just wanna sleep with her forever :))

Very true, but it seems that men get slammed at every turn. If we want equality in life as women and mothers, we need to use our inherent understanding and empathy to bring them into the family and not be so derisive. If a mans opinion is dismissed, he won’t feel part of the family unit. Getting everyone on board when it comes to child rearing is a valid approach.

Possibly the poster might wish to elaborate on their view?

Nah, I wasn't "jumping to defend" any more than you were "jumping to attack". It's a message forum and we're all allowed to discuss our understanding.

Everyone always comes to things with their own interpretation, and mine is based more on a long term loving and supportive relationship, so perhaps that's why I didn't see a question about a partner's feelings as irrelevant.

You're welcome to your own interpretation too, it's all part of discussion isn't it?

Nah, I wasn't "jumping to defend" any more than you were "jumping to attack". It's a message forum and we're all allowed to discuss our understanding.

I didn't attack anyone.

Everyone always comes to things with their own interpretation, and mine is based more on a long term loving and supportive relationship, so perhaps that's why I didn't see a question about a partner's eelings as irrelevant.

I'm not sure what you mean by this tbh. I am in such a relationship but I didn't read the comment from that POV. It was lacking context so I read it in one of 2 ways, you saw the other.

You're welcome to your own interpretation too, it's all part of discussion isn't it?

Yes, of course. One of us is right and one of us is wrong. It could be either way.

@Barearseloverofthigh

Not at all weird. It's totally normal for us to want to sleep next to our children. Co sleeping with our babies is as old as the hills. Follow your instincts momma bear and you'll grow a lovely well balanced adult!

What a lovely post

We’ve taken the side off the cot, pushed it right up to our bed (on highest setting it’s level with our mattress), pushed the mattresses right together (use a pool noodle to fill the gap on the other side, underneath the fitted sheet).

Still doesn’t work and she insists on sleeping literally pressed up against me or on me if she can at all manage it.

She’s 9 months. In fairness due to Covid and DH working in the second bedroom with tons of equipment that takes over all the space, she doesn’t actually have her own room. So we make the best of it. I love having her with me though and am in no rush to change things.

Do what works for you and your family.

@Mn345678 pretty sure it’s natural! I moved DS into his cot last week as he was getting too big for his Snuzpod. I’m not ready to have him sleeping in a different room and I’m not at all comfortable with bed sharing so I’ve rearranged our room to have his full sized cot next to our bed 🤣🤣 there’s a gap all round his cot large enough to walk round so I need to get out of bed to get to him in the night, I can’t just reach in and touch him anymore. Seemed like the next step for us so I just went with it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Could be an option if you have space for the cot?

Coslept with all three of mine. None of them slept a night in a cot, it's not compulsory! Still cosleeping with my 18 month old. It's natural. Do your research into safe cosleeping, and enjoy!

Do what works for you. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than cosleep by choice, I can just about tolerate having my husband in bed with me.

I felt the same way and kept my dc in the moses basket as long as possible, and was so sad to move him. However I will say that after I finally did move him, I realised the pros very quickly and felt fine about it by the next day - evenings were more relaxing, we all slept better, I could get out of bed normally without scooting down.

My baby is 21 month old and she’s always slept with me in my bed x

My husband spent four nights doing the pick up put down method with the baby whilst I slept downstairs. I was on my knees tired and there's no way I would have kept up with it. Baby actually took to it far far better than expected, especially considering he's a clingy, boob obsessed velcro baby who's only ever fed to sleep.

So before bed- no feeding completely to sleep, but have been using it as a cheat to make baby sleepy. I've been feeding him upright in the living room with the TV and lights on. Once he's finished feeding it's time for the sleep cues- upstairs, the dark, white noise machine and getting baby into sleeping bag. A cuddle and walk around in the dark until he's very sleepy. Then hand over to DH for pick up put down.

Husband said the worst of it was during the first night where at one point it took about 2 hours of putting baby down, picking him up if upset and giving him a cuddle until calm, putting him down again and repeat. Baby woke every hour as usual that night but I wasn't allowed in the room, husband settled him with cuddles/rocking/walking around. There was some crying on the first night. The worst of it was 20 mins of crying while DH cuddled and rocked him. The second night DS slept 8 hours solidly!

Also I've been making sure all naps are in the cot too, using the same method. I still miss him though. When he's older he'll be welcome in for night time cuddles. It was just getting a bit too much with waking every hour. He had bags under his eyes too!

I think the key to it was to send in DH. He's obviously not worth waking up for as baby has gone from sleeping 1 or 2 hours at a time to 8 or 9. He's also stopped feeding all night and is only waking at 4/5am for a quick cuddle now. If he's hungry I'll get him up, pretend it's morning and feed him. Then give him an extra nap in the day.

I genuinely think he had no idea that he could sleep all night. I think the cot helps as he knows I'm not there with milk. We leave a sippy cup of water in the cot in case he's thirsty in the night, but I don't think he's used it yet.

Sorry this turned out much longer than planned. Could have just written "pick up, put down method by DH"

Sorry there were paragraphs

And sorry, that was a response to @FolkSongSweet

We had a cot with a side that dropped completely so the cot was like an extension of our bed.

@Tomatobear thank you so much for the really helpful reply! I did something very similar with my first. Need to do it again with baby 2!!