2 year old not talking

[MrsWarleggan]

My youngest DD turns 2 next month.

No talking whatsoever. No muma, no dada. Nothing. All she does is scream, whinge and shout.

Nothing wrong with her hearing. If you call her up for a bath when she's downstairs she's straight up. Understands EVERYTHING.

She was standing by her toy box the other day which she wanted by trying to reach up for. I said to her "Say please and mummy will get it for you" she just screamed at me getting more and more stroppy when I refused. I the said "Say please and mummy will get it, if you don't you can't have it" She then huffed, slammed her hands into her lap, stuck her bottom lip out and bowed her head whilst trying to look up at me.

My parents babysit a couple of times a week and are really starting to struggle with her as it's having a really negative impact on her behaviour. I've spoken to HV and all I get is that kids develop at different times and not to worry, but to be 2 with absolutely nothing..... Surely that can't be right??

I constantly talk to her, read, sing which she loves (perhaps not the singing) and responds with smiles, laughs, claps and loves a boogie to music.

It's really starting to upset me, especially when I see my parents get so frustrated with her. They've intimated that they don't think they can handle her for much longer, and that perhaps I should look at nurseries but I can't afford the extra childcare per month.

Any advice?

When my DD turned 2 (just a few weeks ago) she only had around 4/5 words but her speech has just exploded since then. I was quite worried that she was so late.
I think I'm the only one who can understand her, still but it's night and day compared to a few weeks ago.

My dd wasn’t saying much at all, my friends son also isn’t still now (my daughter is saying a lot more now) One bit of advice she was told by a speech therapist is not to pressure, not to tell him/her to speak for something, not to ask questions demanding an answer. The pressure can upset them and make them associate speech with negativity, pressure, anger and frustration. They’re just learning, lots learn at different stages. Keep doing what you’re doing, singing stories, being positive.

Must of been awful she didn’t feel confident to try and speak for you, then didn’t get what she wanted. No wonder she was so unhappy. Look at it from her point of view. My dds speech is sometimes not exact or word for word. It’s hard learning to speak and every toddler is different. A nursery would be a better idea, my dd has come on loads since going. Being around other toddlers talking and hearing them play I think massively brought on my dd. Can you do morning a week or something?

@Breastfeedingworries

I never thought of it like that. God I feel awful now!! 💔

I'm hoping that as of next week with my local toddler groups opening and soft play I can take her every week on my days off and get her socialising a bit more.

Almost two year old, only says Dadda so far.

I’m not bothered or concerned, he makes noises and understands us when we talk to him. If I told him repetitively to say please when it’s a word he’s never said I wouldn’t be surprised if he got upset.

One of the key things that the speech therapist said to us is that we were probably talking too much to ds1 - it seemed quite counter intuitive but once I thought about it made sense.

He needed the time and space to listen and communicate with us.

She talked about getting down to his level, playing alongside him and waiting for him to initiate conversation. Then to just copy his attempt back at his level (eg just one word or two). She said to do this for short periods every day. It did make a huge difference.

She also emphasised not putting pressure on him to talk.

This website has some great resources

www.hacw.nhs.uk/childrens-speech-and-language-resources/

I would also get a hearing test. We were confident he could hear us but in fact he had intermittent glue ear and was missing certain letter sounds.

With no words at 2 years your HV a should have referred your child for a hearing test and to SaLT. Your child is unhappy at Grandparents and they have told you they are struggling so based on this alone it’s time to look into nurseries. Nursery can be great for language development too.

I wouldn’t rule out a hearing problem. People tend to think of hearing as a binary (able to hear v deaf) but in reality there is a huge range of conditions which can effect hearing to a greater and lesser degree. She may be able to hear her name spoken loudly and clearly, but struggle with conversation.

I also wouldn’t withhold things from her unless she speaks - if she could do it easily she would, and punishing her for a lack of ability isn’t fair. You will also just make speech into a stressful battleground when it should be something she enjoys and finds useful.

Finally, 2 is still not that late to not be speaking yet. Some children do just start late in this regard. Keep persevering with the reading and the songs. Keep talking to her, and leave her time to respond. Children take a while to process what they hear, so give her 20 seconds to process what you’ve said and see if she wants to respond before you speak again.

And speak to your HV again about a referral to a SALT.

If paying for nursery is a struggle, do you have tax credits or similar? This covered about 80% of all childcare costs even when I earned around £30,000. This was about five years ago, so may have changed now with UC, but might be worth looking into.

@Fitforforty

With no words at 2 years your HV a should have referred your child for a hearing test and to SaLT. Your child is unhappy at Grandparents and they have told you they are struggling so based on this alone it’s time to look into nurseries. Nursery can be great for language development too.

All of this.

My eldest spoke very early. My youngest didn't speak much at 2. He then developed a stammer, stopped talking completely around 2.5/3 and then did start talking again with the stammer. He's six now, stammer has stopped. But does come out occasionally when tired, anxious and stressed etc .

Go back to the HV and ask to be referred to SALT. If HV won't, go the the GP. Yes, it is 'normal' for some not to talk at this age, but they can and should be helping.

Depending on where you live and your income/how many hours you work, you may be eligible for 15 hours free childcare from 2 years old. We qualified due to our location so I sent DS2 to nursery to help him socialise even though we didn't need to.

My ds was like that. He wouldn't talk, but could understand everything. I was starting to worry, then at 2y2m he reached across the breakfast table and said 'key please' and wanted my car key. (At least he said please )
Words and then sentences came really quickly after that.

I was a late talker and DS is a late talker too (less than 10 noises/words at 2, huge explosion at 2.5yo). I'd speak to your HV for both a hearing test and a SALT referral - I was really pushy about it because waiting lists are really long here. She's obviously really frustrated. Telling her to say a word and withholding things, isn't suddenly going to make her say the word, I get it's frustrating but that isn't going help and you can adapt your parenting to support her.

Things we did:
Taught DS a couple of signs so that he could tell us a few things
Simple words and sentences
Included pauses when chatting. Gave him time to think about what was being said.
We had a set of flash cards out - I'd put out activities with them but he'd often go and find the right one if he wanted a specific toy or food and I couldn't work out what he wanted.
Once you do start to get words then you can build on them so if she says "ball" you can say "oh yes well done, a red ball".

You should get a referral to SALT for sure. I would get the GP to do it.

Our SALT said no words by 18 months was an expressive language delay.

Early intervention from SALT and the techniques they can show you will most likely sort this quite quickly

Can she make animal noises?

"Say please and mummy will get it for you" is too much for her at the moment. She's got to work out what you're saying, work out that you want her to say something and then work out the word you want her to say is please.
I wouldn't start with 'please' as a first word to learn either. That's a hard concept.
Start with nouns like 'ball', 'cat' etc.
Like a pp said, talking to her in full sentences will help with her comprehension but makes speech trickier.
Think about if you were learning to speak a foreign language, you'd want someone to say the word over and over again for you, and then just have a go at saying that one word. Your dd is the same.
For example:

• Hand her the ball and say ball. When she passes it back to you, say ball. Keep passing it to and fro just repeating the word ball.

• point to yourself and say mummy, point to her and say her name, repeat
• when you're going up the stairs repeat up as you're going up

Just lots of repetition of single words.

Of course you can still talk to her in sentences as well so that she learns what the words mean and that words should go together to have meaning...

And don't worry, she'll get there :)

She doesn’t say momma dada but did/does she babble? I agree a speech and language referral would be a good idea.
She is probably very frustrated at not being able to communicate. I wonder if something like baby sign language might work?

Does she wave/point etc?
If so, teach her some extra signs like; yes, no, food, drink/water.

They're really simple and will help loads.

My DD has speech dyspraxia & didn’t talk until she was well over 3. She is 8 now & still struggles sometimes. She had intensive speech therapy from 2 until 5 & the school speech therapist still sees her from time to time. She was assessed at the Nuffield Speech unit at 4 (18 words) but the early intervention she had meant that she didn’t need to go to the specialist speech school.
I had to really push to get her seen by anyone, I went to the HV & then to SALT based stay & plays where SALT’s were part of the play team. She used makaton & as her words kicked in she gradually switched to language. She was a great communicator but just had no language. She also has to hear a sound or a word 1000 times before her brain can process it. Good luck with everything.

My 2 year old didn't speak but understood everything. I was concerned but by 2yrs 3 months it all started. Was definitely a confidence issue in her case. She is still quiet with new people, she can be polite but it is not her comfort zone to talk to new people.

Just talk, sing and read to her lots. I am sure you already do. Try not to worry.

My youngest didn't talk at 2. And was like yours, lots of whinging and screaming instead of talking. I was just about to strta getting worried and boom, it began.

I'd give it a little longer and then ask for the speech and language referral. Understanding everything is good and all being well, speech will follow.

Thanks all for your advice. Its been really helpful.

Unfortunately we don't qualify for any tax credits, or the 15 hours. We already pay for childminder just under £300 per month, plus breakfast club and after school club 3 times a week for eldest and already get the maximum childcare care vouchers. We MAY be able to scrape a morning, but currently going through first ever mortgage application so will have to see what's left once thats gone through.

I wish she was just like it at GP's, at least then I would know that it's just a case of not being happy there, but she's like it at home too. For instance she's been awake an hour and all she's done is babble, whinge, high pitched screaming and grunting/growling 🙄

I am going to get in touch with HV today and see what they say.

Thanks once again 😊

My son had a speech delay and the HV and speech therapist both said he should have 50 words by the time he was two so I would definitely push for a referral as early intervention can be very beneficial. However I would try not to worry too much as lots of children seem to have a speech explosion around two. When he was two my two year old's behaviour wasn't great as he was getting frustrated because he couldn't communicate what he wanted to. Also understanding what you're saying is a lot more important at that age than speaking themselves, if they can understand that's the main thing.

My 22 month old only says a handful of words.
He says:
Hey Duggee
Mama
Daddy
Ear
Teeth
Key
Car
Bird
Thank you (ank oo) - when he wants too of course 😂.

He babbles a lot and whenever we are going somewhere I will tell him where we are going. If he points to his water I will just repeat water. I try to keep the words short and simple.

To be honest, I think you need to push for a hearing test and referral to SALT (you can self refer in this area)

My son was exactly the same - not even babbling at 2. I don’t think most people on this thread really get it when you say she does even go MuMu

My son was diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia. He is now 6 and his speech is nearly normal thanks to a lot of speech therapy. Some things that helped at your daughter’s age were

• practise mouth and exercises. Eg who can open their mouth the biggest? Mr Toungue story

• don’t try and force her to talk but make sure you ask her questions and leave a gap with an opportunity to answer

• a good one is to hold up 2 items and asking which she wants whilst exaggerating the words. Do you want this apple or this banana? She can then ever answer or point to the one she wants. If she points at the Apple just say, the APPLE good choice or something like that

I hope that helps x

A couple of other things the speech therapist recommended but my son didn’t take to were to teach some sign language and to have a PECS book