4 yr old declares teacher hitting him on his head!

[shemesheli]

My 4 year old told his conpsrenting Dad today:

Dad;How was nursery son?
Son; I done like it Daddy as my teacher hits me on my head when she’s angry!!!

I’ve had a little chat with him and gained more info but feel broken inside! As it may have been going on for a very long time.
He said she does it to other children and his friend.

A few parents have reservations about this lady.

How should I deal with this? It was too quick, clear and the teacher named immediately from his statement. Usually he refuses to speak about her.

:-(((((

Apologies I wrote that quite fast!

Co parenting Dad.

‘I don’t like it Daddy as....’

Wtf
Straight up the school on Monday
Hope your LO is ok 😢

Are you friends with friends Mum?

There may be a very explainable reason.. children of that age use descriptions they know or she could be hitting him..

I would be contacting nursery Monday am and not leaving him therr till satisfied.

Don’t dismiss it. Follow up with the school and be persistent.

Similar was happening to my DS when younger. Nursery tried to dismiss it as “just a vivid imagination” but later admitted others had raised similar concerns. Now as a teen DS still remembers what had been happening, and has been forever grateful that we believed him and stood up for him.

Yes I’m close to the other boys mum also. He’s not returning :-(
No he’s clear about it and was too precise with the way he told his Dad.
For a while I would question him if he enjoyed nursery etc and he would always reply I don’t want to tell you.

I had meetings with the manager and they always reassured me as a team etc.
So I trusted stuff can happen anywhere and even if she seemed strict I thought no harm with one strict teacher.

I just now need to know how to approach a as she can just say she didn’t do anything.
I’ve had a further chat with my child in a roundabout way and I now trust what he’s saying.

I’ve kept calm now I’ve just cried my heart out.

You need to find out if his friend has mentioned anything to his mum.
If it was me, I’d ask to speak to the manager face to face, tell her what’s happened, your son won’t be returning whilst she’s still there.
Ask for the complaints procedure and that you’ll be letting the LA know.
Don’t mess around with shit like this.

I’m so sorry OP. I remember being absolutely distraught at the time, although a lot of time has passed now.

We found out a long time after the fact that we should really have reported it to the police and to OFSTED.

At the time I gullibly fell for the nursery’s assertion that they needed to report it themselves. I did speak to the health visitor, as the only other person I could think of, but they were no help.

I can remember my teacher pulling my hair at age 5. My mum complained to the school and they did nothing, they said I was imagining it. In the end my mum confronted the teacher and said I know you’re pulling Donitta’s hair, if you touch her one more time I’ll pull your hair out by the fucking blonde roots you nasty bitch. She never pulled my hair again.

Yes other mum is going to chrvknwith her son through a type of therapy play.

User143677....
Should I contact the police before the nursery? Interesting....

And there is always the fear that he is learning to fib YET all the signs are evident and he was way too matter of fact about it. Poor little love he’s been there since he was 2!

He will not return next week. I was told to place a recorder but I believe that’s illegal so won’t do that. There are NO cameras in the setting.

I was calm for the last few hours s but just had a mini meltdown.

Had to reassure him I’m here to protect him.

:-((((

Ironically I’m a vigilant mum & had quite a few meetings about stuff previously. I and other parents were always unsure about this member :-(

I wish I could give you a hug. All the feelings are coming back to me. It hit me so hard at the time that I suffered panic attacks for months.

I hope it gives some comfort to know that for my DS, 10 years on, although he remembers everts about it his overriding memory is that we believed him and kept him safe. He’s not traumatised by it.

There were occasional questions from him over the years of “why did she do that, did I do something to cause it” but we just talked it through in a matter of fact way and he was fine.

I do remember worrying at the time that he would grow up thinking we had let him down, particularly because it had happened over a long period, but it wasn’t the case.

I don’t know whether you should go to police or nursery first. It was only years later when I discussed it with a friend who was an ex police officer that he said I should have reported it. He did say that it would likely just have been dealt with administratively, not as an assault. I don’t remember what his reasoning was though.

I think you should not speak to the nursery first, you should keep him off and report to the Police and Ofsted.

Your child has reported a crime to you. You are reasonably sure this is true. If your child was 16 you would report a crime to the Police.

Thank you User1436....
Yes the stress and concerns about damaging effects have just hit. He’s been frustrated recently and I thought it was due to something else.

He told me ‘Mummy she’s a monster with yellow teeth that wants to eat me’ My heart breaks.

I must not read into it all too much and keep him feeling empowered and confident and let him know she’s done wrong and it’s not his fault.

Picturesandpickles
I feel he’s reported a crime.

The worse part is that it’s akeays been my biggest fear and it’s happened .... ;-(((

I'd tell the police first to be honest, maybe call the NSPCC for advice about how to approach this?

Ofsted should be your first call, they will then activate their investigation protocol and contact the Nursery to inform them there has been a complaint and they will investigate it from there, and involve the Police.

You don’t have to make the complaint yourself direct to the Nursery.

I’m so sorry to hear that you have been unfortunate enough to have to take this action, and also for your little Boy who was involved in this incident.

Is she ever alone with him? Surely not. Someone else must be in on it.
I think it's great that you're listening to your kid. However, my nearly four year old has been fibbing for a while. She hit my mother (because my mother wouldn't give her a banana before dinner). I saw all this from the next room. She came in and told me Nanny had hit her 9 times in the face. I think you need solid évidence. If you've got it, don't let up until she's in prison.

I would contact police first before nursery. If you tell nursery first you're giving them time to get their story straight.
What a shame

If you really are concerned, I would call ofsted. They may do an unannounced visit. It sounds like something has happened, but children do get the wrong end of the stick sometimes. Could she have patted him on the head? Does he know that you’ve been anxious about this sort of thing happening? I do hope you get to the bottom of it snd that and your ds are ok.

Thank you everyone.

Of course I am pondering if truth or not he is only 4!

Yet the full sentence matter of fact and naming her is SO unlike him. He’s very verbal yet he never named teachers or barely speaks about them.

Before summer half term he barely spoke about nursery and would ALWAYS say if he likes it ‘I don’t want to tell you!’ Hence why I had some meetings. But he has more a confident voice now.

This morning he told me I don’t want to go. Why? Because of hitting! When asked by who he went quiet and ignored it. But I thought it was a child as pre schoolers hit out.

I will play some role play games tomorrow without putting any ideas or words into equation and see how it flows.

I think I wlll contact a few people before the nursery to find the best way to addresss this and defo take all your kind, practical words / advice into account.

So tricky and scary.... x

This definitely needs investigating. As a teacher it seems incredible that this could happen, as I am virtually never alone with a child without other adults around and we are told very clearly that if ever we do have to be alone with a child we need to have blinds up / doors open etc so you’re always visible. That’s not to say these awful things never happen as sadly they must do sometimes. I hope for his sake it turns out to be a misunderstanding and the hitting is actually something different

This is a tricky one as if it's correct you absolutely don't want to ignore it but kids of this age do come out with all sorts. My friends ds comes out with some beauties, he had a bit of a black eye from falling on to his bed post - I know because I was there - and he told the nursery in great detail how his mum had punched him for arguing with his brother (he doesn't have a brother) . Only this weekend was looking after my friends 3 yo dd who told me in great detail how mummy had zipped her in a bag and locked her in the bedroom. She'd tried her in her toddler gro bag as she kept waking up after kicking covers off.

Just to clarify that I distracted him today and reappeachrx the subject and the details were the same.

Now to find out who to contact first!

Reapproached *