4 yr old declares teacher hitting him on his head!

[shemesheli]

My 4 year old told his conpsrenting Dad today:

Dad;How was nursery son?
Son; I done like it Daddy as my teacher hits me on my head when she’s angry!!!

I’ve had a little chat with him and gained more info but feel broken inside! As it may have been going on for a very long time.
He said she does it to other children and his friend.

A few parents have reservations about this lady.

How should I deal with this? It was too quick, clear and the teacher named immediately from his statement. Usually he refuses to speak about her.

:-(((((

Ring the nursery manager first thing on Monday.
It may absolutely 100% true
It may not be.
My daughter was smacked by a teacher at her nursery 14 years ago. (not her teacher, one of the teachers)
The nursery will ask for the teacher's version of events and will take disciplinary things from there if necessary.
As it's a nursery, the ratio rules means other adults are likely to always have been in the vicinity.
Is it a nursery attached to a school? Or private daycare? You're more likely to get an unbiased reaction from the manager if the former, for obvious reasons.

Yes well I am VRRY mindful that somebody’s reputation and livelihood is at stake here.

However after much thought and speaking with my son he has NEVER said anything about his teachers in fact he refrains from doing so which always secretly concerned me.
This morning when approached again & asked questions he said ‘My other teachers aren’t angry like her!’
:-((((((
I didn’t go with my intuition the first time I now have no option but to take some action and believe me as a solo parent this is not a light decision to make for many reasons.

My child has reported a firm of abuse and seems to be scared of this woman.

The fact that he's scared of his teacher is very worrying and you need to take him seriously. You also need to remove him from that class immediately and whatever the outcome he should not have to go back into her class.

The police would not be able to charge this woman on the grounds of a young child's statement and no other evidence. The court has to prove it happened, and the burden of prof is really high. Even with an adult witness testimony most assaults do not meet the level of proof to go to court, usually there needs to be a second witness and/or CCTV evidence or other evidence. But it could help towards a later conviction. Or it could mean disciplinary action at work. It should also go on any enhanced DBS for a new job. I would want to know it had been reported and was on their radar. As this does not just sound like a child fibbing (although they are great at that!) because this child sounds afraid too. This sounds like something did happen, whether it did or not would be hard to find out with no cameras on the premises. This must be so worrying for you.

Ask to speak yo the named safeguarding person in the nursery

You need to call the police or your council safe guarding hub.
Best of luck xx

I would not ask any more questions. Especially any that are leading, so don’t say did X hit you on the head- if it went to court those questions would be seen as putting words in your sons mouth.

Write down word for word what your son said and what sons dad said.

I would inform OFSTED straight away; and on Monday tell nursery that you have informed OFSTED because.... and withdraw son until it is sorted.

Email the nursery manager and named safeguarding person with a factual statement about what your child has said. Ask them to contact you Monday.

Speak to the named safeguarding person in the nursery first thing Monday. You probably will need to go in with your child so this person can speak to your child and yourself in person. They shouldn’t ask leading questions but should document what child said. Ask this person about the processes ahead as the hitting will need to be investigated. Ask for a timeline, which professional agency they will seek advice from and when they will feedback to you. Ask what steps the nursery will take to protect your child and what steps they will take with the nursery teacher. She should be sent home while investigated and your child should continue to attend nursery as normal once she is out of the classroom.

This is so awful, she should not be teaching. Hope your boy is okay.

@Saltyslug

I would speak to ofsted first before the nursery, as some terrible nurseries will start a cover up

Talk to the LA as a matter of urgency as they oversee safeguarding in your area for everyone regardless of age and they can let you know about processes and support the nursery to follow formal process also

Did you speak to the nursery op?

I’m also very mindful that my 4 year old can fib for England. I popped my hands on her shoulders the other day standing behind her in a queue. Just rested them on there gently. DD didn’t like it for some reason (probably because I’d told her off a couple minutes before) and started crying that I’d hurt her & hit her on the shoulders 🙄 We get similar reports of ‘Poppy pushed me over’ when we are at the park with friends.. it didn’t happen, I watched the incident, DD simply fell over near Poppy. 🙈 Similarly to your scenario actually, at her gymnastics class, the teacher taps them all on the head while giving them a colour (to group them). I watch this happen ever week, it was the briefest tap you’ve ever seen. In the car on the way home one week, DD started saying ‘miss xxx hit us on the head every week mummy’ .. well, she does tap but she doesn’t hit. But if I wasn’t there to witness what actually happens, I suppose I may be concerned as well.

I’d tread carefully. My first contact would be nursery. If they don’t take it seriously, Ofsted. The police isn’t the right move here initially.

So the nursery deflected all blame..... nothing else I can do :-(
I’ve taken him out and had two weeks of no childcare trying to find another setting that will accept him at short notice and only two months before summer, school start.

I hope you managed to get your boy in somewhere else OP and you are both okay. Can't believe the nursery didn't investigate.

Ask to speak to the safeguarding lead on the premises. There are clear processes to follow and you can ask him/her about them

Surely other adults at the nursery would have seen this? She wouldn’t be alone with the children. In what way did nursery ‘deflect the blame?’