Not enough in packed lunch for 3yo

[Shelovesamystery]

Just wanted to check with others really. My DS has been trying to eat other children's lunch at preschool they've asked if I think we put enough in his lunch box for him. I think what he has is adequate for his age and size but I could be wrong so please tell me if you think I am and I will give him more.

Today he's got a (full size) wrap with cherry tomatoes, ham and cheese inside, a pot of fruit (roughly 5 grapes, 5 raspberries and 3 large strawberries) and a cheese string. This is the usual portion size but the food varies, sometimes pasta, sometimes a sandwich etc. He turned 3 in March, average size for his age and not under or overwheight. They have morning and afternoon snacks at preschool. He eats his breakfast (2 weetabix or a small bowl of cheerios and a banana most days) and doesn't ask for food when he gets out of preschool or on the way home.

So am I giving him enough? TIA

When my light eating dd was a bit older I put in some sealed things that I knew she wouldn’t eat. She balked. I explained they were so the teachers didn’t think I was starving her. They just went back and forth in her lunch box until they got too beat up and then I swapped them.

But for your son, it’s probably just that other kids lunches look different and yummy. I would ask the school to tell you if there are particular things he is trying to eat and then try to include identical or similar items that meet your nutritional parameters.

I think that's plenty of food. I have a 3yr old and I reckon it is probably just packed lunch envy if others have crisps, penguin/kit kat, raisins treat type things in theirs.

I'll go completely against what another pp said (re Neglect and SS) as it shod be plenty even for me really, and I'd say maybe a full sized adult wrap might be too much for him so he gets bored of eating it...do you know what I mean? My 3yr DD gets bored with too big a sandwich as runs out if steam to eat it. So maybe a mini wrap could be better and instead add something else in for a bit more variety. Just a thought!

You are totally not neglecting your child though. Please keep smiling!

No one is going to have called social services because of a lunchbox like that - it is not neglect @Divineswirls, that is a ridiculous statement.

Of course, in principle, giving a child not the right amount of food can be neglect, but the situation as outlined in the OP is not that.

OP - Give an extra bit of food if DC is going through a growth spurt/burning it off quicker, but don't rush to give junk just because others are.

Mentioning that her DC was trying to eat his friends lunch and he might be a bit hungry is NOT a red flag, it comes under the flag of normal nursery/parent communication.

@vickylou78, he eats the whole wrap and everything else though and then goes for more. Otherwise, I'd also think it was lunch envy. Also, I don't think nurseries let children eat KitKat's at lunch. Not for the last ten years or so where we are.

People get so hung up over packed lunches;a wrap or a sandwich with some fruit and cheese as snacks isn't enough for a 3 year old?

How many adults only have a sandwich or wrap for lunch;my teenage daughter have money on their dinner card each day;they normally buy a cheese toastie and a cookie for lunch:maybe some should report me to SS.

It sounds like he has enough in his lunch;maybe adding a sweeter thing such as a cereal bar or a small piece of flapjack might help as I'd put money on it being something like crisps or something sweet he was trying to pinch.

@Divineswirls

Babies tummies are small but once they are feeding themselves they can control when they feel full so you must provide enough food for them to do so.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.

You seem to have a lack of understanding if you're posting on MN for advice so be careful and provide more access to food at home as well by allowing DC to take healthy food from same a fruit bowl etc when they are hungry between meals.

Your DC have been conditioned to eat less already and only when hungry so you shouldn't have issues of them becoming overweight if that's what you're worried about

Christ... wish I'd know years ago that all l had to do to get SS involved and actually give my SEN child help was for him to eye up other people's food.

@Divineswirls

Mother of God people - I feel I need to interject here before this thread derails

Nurseries are trained to look out for certain things. They have brought up this issue with the OP as it is a red flag. Does this really need explaining.

Don't worry, it's not needed.

My DS has been eating other kids food at preschool. We have established that this because either

A- he's still hungry after finishing his own or
B- he's jealous of the other children's food.

I've said upthread that I'm going to pop some extra bits in his lunch box and ask him if there is anything else he'd like. You're writing like I am a teenager who's had this random 3yo foisted upon me when I've never even seen a child before. FFS he's my DS, I know him, I know what he eats, I know what he likes to eat, I know his personality. And luckily I'm not an anxious ftm that you can scare

@Divineswirls

Mother of God people - I feel I need to interject here before this thread derails

Nurseries are trained to look out for certain things. They have brought up this issue with the OP as it is a red flag. Does this really need explaining.

They’re also trained to discuss things with parents pertinent to the child’s day. That’s what’s happening here. It’s not an SS matter. SS do not have the resources to police what’s in a child’s lunchbox.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger

Potentially one of the most ridiculous responses I’ve ever seen on MN 🤦🏽‍♀️😂🤯

an energetic 3 might need more calories; add some bread.

Is he a fast eater? My son is. If so, maybe something that takes a bit longer to eat like those little yoghurt flakes or raisins might stop his attention wandering to other lunch boxes

I give my DS (age 3 1/2) a ham and mustard sandwich (don’t ask- it’s the only filling he will eat) some carrot batons, 2 cherry tomatoes, handful of sultanas, a cheese string and some ritz crackers/melba toasts or rice crackers.
He is a big eater though and very tall for his age and always finishes his lunch but doesn’t come home starving, and is a perfect weight so I don’t worry too much.
As previous posters said it may be that he just likes the look of what others have in their lunch too- which is fair enough! Lol I’d maybe put an extra piece of fruit in, or some sort of carb (like crackers etc) if your at all worried and see if they get eaten?

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger

That counts as one of the funnier comments on Mumsnet...

It sounds as if he is growing - and getting a little more hungry.

Your meals for him sound full of good foods. However, perhaps they are a bit heavy on carbs and light on fat/protein? (Breakfast especially - with lunch it depends on how much meat/cheese is included.)

My grandmother got me giving eggs to my children at breakfast. She was unimpressed with cereals ('sweepings from the granary floor') for growing children.

Astonished by this:
*What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.*

How wonderful to imagine that we live in a country where the SS have time to deal with potential lunchbox-neglect in healthy normal weight children! (The neglected children brought to me by SS were not being given breakfast or lunch or dinner were feeding themselves the remains of take-aways from bins!)

If you just sent the normal sized filled wrap it wouldn’t count as starvation or neglect FGS , that is all that most adults would have for lunch without the added extras . If @Divineswirls actually does work with SS I sincerely hope this isn’t the type of thing they get involved with when there are children actually being abused by their parents . Not sure I’ve ever read anything so over dramatic and ridiculous on MN . @Shelovesamystery it will probably end up being that he fancied someone else’s Monster Munch or something similar .

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger

on a busy day my 5 year old can eat 2 breakfasts (a bowl of cereal and toast), go through a whole fruit bowl, a full lunch of sandwich, breadsticks, olives, grapes and yoghurt, a full plate of shepherds pie and veg for dinner and still complain that she is starving. Other days she eats barely enough to keep a sparrow alive I think most children go through stages like this. OP is in no way starving her child .

@Divineswirls

Babies tummies are small but once they are feeding themselves they can control when they feel full so you must provide enough food for them to do so.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.

You seem to have a lack of understanding if you're posting on MN for advice so be careful and provide more access to food at home as well by allowing DC to take healthy food from same a fruit bowl etc when they are hungry between meals.

Your DC have been conditioned to eat less already and only when hungry so you shouldn't have issues of them becoming overweight if that's what you're worried about

Are you okay? I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t report a child to SS if they didn’t look malnourished and came in with a lunchbox with a wrap and some fruit in. However, I do think that @Shelovesamystery could add a slice of Soreen or a cereal bar as it sounds like her DS is still hungry.

Update for anyone that wants one. It was very boring food that he was trying to eat, some of which he'd already had in his lunch box, so not food envy. And it only happened once so not a regular thing. I reckon it's a combination of growth spurt plus just generally using up more energy at preschool than at home so therefore hungrier.

I asked him what he wanted in his packed lunches and he just said all the things he usually has already so he wasn't much help.

I'll put some extra things in from now on, I'm thinking some breadsticks/crackers and a flapjack or similar.

Thanks for (almost) all the helpful replies.

I doubt he is actually hungry, more attracted to other children lunch boxes out of curiosity. Add a small yogurt to see if it occupies him longer, but don't worry about it.

Thanks for the update.