Not enough in packed lunch for 3yo

[Shelovesamystery]

Just wanted to check with others really. My DS has been trying to eat other children's lunch at preschool they've asked if I think we put enough in his lunch box for him. I think what he has is adequate for his age and size but I could be wrong so please tell me if you think I am and I will give him more.

Today he's got a (full size) wrap with cherry tomatoes, ham and cheese inside, a pot of fruit (roughly 5 grapes, 5 raspberries and 3 large strawberries) and a cheese string. This is the usual portion size but the food varies, sometimes pasta, sometimes a sandwich etc. He turned 3 in March, average size for his age and not under or overwheight. They have morning and afternoon snacks at preschool. He eats his breakfast (2 weetabix or a small bowl of cheerios and a banana most days) and doesn't ask for food when he gets out of preschool or on the way home.

So am I giving him enough? TIA

I think that when my DD (now 5) just started weaning I read about portion sizes and how it's good to remember that children's stomachs are small/relative to their size and it just sort of got ingrained in my brain. When we first started needing to do children's packed lunches my DH would put so much in DD's and I would be like "what are you doing? That is ridiculous, her stomach is tiny".

I've always given my dc's small portions but lots throughout the day, so little and often. Theory being that they fill up their small stomach.....burn off the energy and empty it.... fill up again..... burn off again and so on. But yes, I suppose they don't get that option to eat often at school/preschool so they need a bigger lunch. At home DS would just have the wrap or a portion of pasta for lunch and doesn't ask for more (I'd happily give it if he did). So I hadn't thought to put lots of extra bits in, just one or two small snacks extra. To me, I look at the size of a wrap then look at his tummy and the wrap seems huge 😂

Sounds like plenty. They just like snaffling other kids food because it's more exciting. My kids used to run around soft play trying to find spare crisps after a full meal - now that was embarrassing!!

What other foods is he getting from the other DC OP is it choc bars and crisps maybe?

DC feel sorry for the kids without those items so will tend to share theirs out of pity or take extra in for them which is a financially unfair on other parents.

I'd try making the food take longer to eat as well as adding the oat bar.

Slice up the fruit, and maybe use some of the bento accessories designed for children.

A few frozen peas would be defrosted by lunch and take longer to eat than a few carrot sticks.

You can get plastic cutters so you make a sandwich and it is then cut into dinosaurs or stars.

@SummerHouse we have a show apple too it’s done many miles

My DD has similar to yours for playschool lunchbox and I got complimented on it, saying it's was the right amount etc.

I think your way of thinking is perfect and works well.

@Divineswirls

Maybe he doesn't ask for extra snacks from you because he's been conditioned not to.

It sounds like you have quite a control over his portions

Oh no he asks for snacks at home, just not immediately after finishing preschool (which is why I wonder whether he is actually hungry). I've always tried to be relaxed about food, I don't give big portions to begin with but they can have more if they want. And I almost always say yes to snack requests, I only say no if there is a meal in the next half an hour or I will say no to something sugary if they've already had treats and suggest an alternative.

@Divineswirls

What other foods is he getting from the other DC OP is it choc bars and crisps maybe?

DC feel sorry for the kids without those items so will tend to share theirs out of pity or take extra in for them which is a financially unfair on other parents.

Yes I think I need to find out what it was that he wanted to eat. Tbh I thought I might get told off if I sent him in with biscuits or chocolate so I thought it best to just give him fruit for a pudding. Some schools/preschools are strict with this stuff and some aren't. It could definitely be that his friends have "fun stuff" in their lunch boxes and he wants some of his own

Babies tummies are small but once they are feeding themselves they can control when they feel full so you must provide enough food for them to do so.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.

You seem to have a lack of understanding if you're posting on MN for advice so be careful and provide more access to food at home as well by allowing DC to take healthy food from same a fruit bowl etc when they are hungry between meals.

Your DC have been conditioned to eat less already and only when hungry so you shouldn't have issues of them becoming overweight if that's what you're worried about

It's a fine line but don't worry you sound like a lovely DM who will balance things out nutritionally so they eat their main meals and fill a small gap in between as required

@Divineswirls

Babies tummies are small but once they are feeding themselves they can control when they feel full so you must provide enough food for them to do so.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.

You seem to have a lack of understanding if you're posting on MN for advice so be careful and provide more access to food at home as well by allowing DC to take healthy food from same a fruit bowl etc when they are hungry between meals.

Your DC have been conditioned to eat less already and only when hungry so you shouldn't have issues of them becoming overweight if that's what you're worried about

Sorry what? 😂

Have you read anything I've written? You think that giving my 3yo son a full size wrap with fillings, fruit and cheese string on top of breakfast, 2 snacks at preschool, snacks when he gets home and dinner is neglectful and warrants an investigation by SS? Honestly, mumsnet at its finest

@SummerHouse

I have a "show" apple. It just goes to school everyday and comes home every night. You can get many food miles out of a show apple.

This made me laugh so much. 🤣

I forgot to take my 'show apple' home last week and it's looking and smelling a bit unpleasant!

@Shelovesamystery this is an area I work in so yes I know what I'm talking about.

I've said my piece and your response is slightly worrying

I'd also like to point out that I have a nearly 6yo who's had many packed lunches over the years and I've managed to keep her alive without starving her and not had any SS interventions

[quote Divineswirls]@Shelovesamystery this is an area I work in so yes I know what I'm talking about.

I've said my piece and your response is slightly worrying [/quote]
Oh give over 🙄😂

Don't they give him snacks at preschool too? It sounds as if it would have been fine for my DD who had packed lunches at that age. Ds is at preschool and they give him hot lunch, so I don't actually know how much he eats!

Personally, since he is eating everything you give him and then searching for more, I'd put some more healthy stuff in. Not fruit maybe as there's only so much fruit anyone wants at lunchtime. But maybe cheese and crackers instead of just cheese string? Or hummus and veg sticks maybe.

"Hello, social services? We had a child at nursery today with a full sized ham, cheese, tomato wrap, fruit pot and cheese string in their pack up."

Social services:

@SummerHouse

"Hello, social services? We had a child at nursery today with a full sized ham, cheese, tomato wrap, fruit pot and cheese string in their pack up."

Social services:

Exactly, can you imagine?

My 3 year old takes in his packed lunch to nursery,

2 mini wraps or 2 bread slices sandwich
the same sized fruit pot as you put it
Half a pack of pom bears or a rice cake
2 oatcakes with spread
sliced peppers or sliced melon
Oat bar or packet gingerbread men biscuits

That covers his lunch and afternoon snack. Morning snack is fruit provided by nursery.

It feels like loads when I'm packing it up but he eats it all and he's low centiles for height and weight.

Like you I have an older one who at the very most will eat a sandwich, crisps and a yoghurt over the school day. There's a lot of show fruit and veg that goes in his box and comes home untouched too.

Sounds fine to me, although perhaps quite low in protein. What about adding in some carrot sticks and hummus, or some pieces of chicken? Might keep him full.

I’ll be waiting for a knock from SS top OP as my DS is always eyeing up everyone else’s dinner...

@Divineswirls

Babies tummies are small but once they are feeding themselves they can control when they feel full so you must provide enough food for them to do so.

What you're doing is being seen as neglectful as you are essentially starving your DC by not feeding him enough to satisfy his hunger.

That is classed as a form of neglect I'm afraid and the nursery may have already contacted SS. They will contact SS if you don't sort it out.

You seem to have a lack of understanding if you're posting on MN for advice so be careful and provide more access to food at home as well by allowing DC to take healthy food from same a fruit bowl etc when they are hungry between meals.

Your DC have been conditioned to eat less already and only when hungry so you shouldn't have issues of them becoming overweight if that's what you're worried about

What are you on about????

Op please ignore. You are not neglecting anyone!

@SummerHouse

"Hello, social services? We had a child at nursery today with a full sized ham, cheese, tomato wrap, fruit pot and cheese string in their pack up."

Social services:

This! 👌

Mother of God people - I feel I need to interject here before this thread derails

Nurseries are trained to look out for certain things. They have brought up this issue with the OP as it is a red flag. Does this really need explaining.