14 month old cries whenever I try to do housework

[holliem91]

I have a 14 month old LG who is so well behaved and as good as anything. So in that sense I feel very lucky.

But every day I get anxiety when it's time for me to do simple household jobs like wash the pots or wipe down the kitchen sides as I know she'll scream the house down. I put off the cleaning for as long as I possibly can but at some point during the day - it needs doing.

The minute I go to the kitchen sink, she's hanging off me, crying her eyes out trying to push me away and I don't understand why.

It's not the same if I try to make the bed though, she's fine if I try to do that job. It seems to be whenever I'm in the kitchen trying to clean, she hates it.

Does anyone have any advice for this please?

TIA!

Sling?

I was also going to suggest a sling.

And i feel her. Housework brings me to tears too

You emotions might also be contributing to her reaction. every day I get anxiety when it's time for me to do simple household jobs is quite extreme. How does this manifest and what could you do differently to change the mood?

Have you tried getting her to 'help'? E.g. give her a clean cloth and a spray container with water. Show her what to do with it and make 'cleaning time' a fun, exciting thing that she's involved with.

Have you tried putting her in the high chair next to you at the sink so she can see what you’re doing and give her stuff to bang about or bubbles to play with? Not sure how you’d wash up with a 14 month old in a sling to be honest.

A sling would break your back with a 14 month strapped to you! Mine can be the same, it was worse when she was younger (nearly 2 now) but she's kind of grown out of it mostly. I give her a cloth and ask her to clean the floors and cupboards for me, and then pop the cloth in the washing machine. By the time I've finished cleaning down the kitchen, she's done 'cleaning' herself. It's mostly they just want to be involved and love to 'help' and feel like they aren't getting attention. When I'm hoovering, I ask her to move things out the way for me and sometimes let her help me push it round.

I know how she feels, I cry whenever I have to clean the kitchen too.

I had a pod like this in the kitchen when the kids were little, but perhaps a little older than your dad is right now:

www.littlehelper.co.uk/products/little-helper-funpod-kitchen-stool-learning-tower-01

It means they can do stuff at the work counter playing with playdoh or at the sink while I cleaned the kitchen around them.

Give her toys to play with, sing her songs as you do it or if everything else fails then put on ceebies.

dd, not dad

I try and do things in small stints or when he is contained or asleep.

So I make breakfast whilst he’s toddling around, then in highchair and we eat. When I’m finished, he gets some fruit cut up after porridge that he feeds himself whilst I load dishwasher and wipe sides.

After lunch I run hoover around quick in kitchen whilst he’s still in highchair. After dinner laid dishwasher/ wipe sides and table whilst he’s still in chair. Empty dishwasher and wash kitchen floor once he’s in bed at night

These sound like quick jobs, so I would probably just set her up with something to play and then get on with it, making reassuring/soothing noises if she is upset. She will soon get used to it, it's probably just unsettling her because you're trying to avoid it so she doesn't like it.

Or see if you can find some way for her to "join in" e.g. an extra washing up bowl with a tiny bit of water and some plastic utensils to play with on the floor. A cloth and her own spray bottle (of water) etc.

@MaMaD1990 it really depends on the sling. I can carry my much older child.

Mine went through a phase a bit like this. Remember it’s just a phase! I thought up some specific activities for mine to do when they could be nearby but they need to do something. So things that I just kept for those times.I had a big cardboard box that I used to put one inside together with some crayons and stickers – it was her house and she could decorate it! That was probably a 15 minute activity… I also had sticker books, I kept just for those times (was in France, and they did these gorgeous books for 18 month olds with replaceable stickers but haven’t seen them here), And a couple of activities just for the kitchen – sticking pipe cleaners in an upsidedown colander, threading pasta tubes etc. There’s loads of ideas on Pinterest.
For me, the answer was to be a bit organised and have a plan.

@MaMaD1990

A sling would break your back with a 14 month strapped to you! Mine can be the same, it was worse when she was younger (nearly 2 now) but she's kind of grown out of it mostly. I give her a cloth and ask her to clean the floors and cupboards for me, and then pop the cloth in the washing machine. By the time I've finished cleaning down the kitchen, she's done 'cleaning' herself. It's mostly they just want to be involved and love to 'help' and feel like they aren't getting attention. When I'm hoovering, I ask her to move things out the way for me and sometimes let her help me push it round.

It really won't if you have a decent sling worn properly.

Op...give your child something to do to 'help'. My dd wipes things while I try to do housework!

Either put her in a sling - a back carrier one may be more comfortable depending how big she is - or let her help. I struggle to get any jobs done in the day though if I'm honest. If both babies nap at the same time I clean then and I always get up once I've got them both to sleep and clean the house top to toe in the evening. I often put a film on for me and my eldest while I Potter round getting it all done. Means the house is less tidy through the day but at least I always wake up to a nice fresh house

A sling won’t break your back!
I wear 12 month old every day out and about. I don’t Wear much indoors as I want him to learn to start entertaining himself if I have to do bits, but a sling is fine up until 3/4 years depending on what you have.

I wore him 1hr just now whilst I planted strawberries and salad in raised beds and watered as our garden is on steep slope and I can’t leave him yet to wobble around, and dh was busy.

Get her to "help". A damp cloth to wipe cupboards etc. I also kept the lowest cupboard in kitchen full of the plastic containers, cups etc and would ask them to "tidy" that cupboard while I did the dishes. Or to move dry pasta from one container to another, they loved that.

And yes, key here is that actually, we don’t get that much done in the day if one of us is home alone with baby. 10-15 max at a time with him contained for ‘helping’. So we try and get main bits done in the evening so when we come down the next morning it’s already clean enough. Yes the bathroom tiles might not be polished but it’s fine.
I take Ds to bed every night as he’s fed still, and dh uses that 20 mins to quickly blitz kitchen. Then I come down and we both do something 15 mins

I have my over two stone two tear old in a sling on my back regularly or I wouldn’t have suggested it. Large parts of the world back carry toddlers till they’re much older than 14 months.

@MaMaD1990

A sling would break your back with a 14 month strapped to you! Mine can be the same, it was worse when she was younger (nearly 2 now) but she's kind of grown out of it mostly. I give her a cloth and ask her to clean the floors and cupboards for me, and then pop the cloth in the washing machine. By the time I've finished cleaning down the kitchen, she's done 'cleaning' herself. It's mostly they just want to be involved and love to 'help' and feel like they aren't getting attention. When I'm hoovering, I ask her to move things out the way for me and sometimes let her help me push it round.

You can't say children are ever too old for slings, we'll never hear the end of it now

Put a bowl of soapy water and some cups and plastic cutlery in a bowl on the floor with a sponge (lay some towels down first) and let her wash up too.

Give her a cloth, duster or some antibac wipes to clean up too.

Washing windows? Let her sponge and squeegee with you.

Hoovering? Chase her with the hoover. Or let her have a go. Even better, get her a mini toy Hoover and you can parallel hoover.

They love being helpers. There are jobs they can't help with of course but most they can.

Clean the bathroom while she's in the bath. Wash the dishes while she's still picking at her dinner. I give mine lots of veg crudités and bits that keep them eating for a long time so I have time to clear up and they get their 5 a day in!

Indeed. Those of us who find them useful are lying or knit muesli in our spare time and should never suggest it for fear of what others might think

Give her a cloth or mini-mop and get her cleaning the floor. My DC was just the right height for doing that at that age.

I love slings but there’s a massive difference between carrying a toddler on a walk and doing housework bending down and up constantly. That would be painful, I think.

It’s just weird that people seem to think someone using a sling for a 1 year old is at all strange. Fine if you choose not too, but it’s a perfectly normal thing. Lots of 14 month olds can’t walk yet, and those that can still get tired quickly and need constant attention.

For me a sling gives me freedom. A pram is handy, we use one, but 50% time it just isn’t practical due to location.
I don’t have the luxury of family to help or childcare. If I need to get general stuff done, baby has to go with me.

It’s not weird at all but it isn’t the go to solution either.

I think the problem here seems to be that OPs attention is diverted and so the sling might not help.

Newborns adore slings but after that stage they can be great but some babies just don’t like them much.