is there such a thing as the terrible threes......

[rosebud1980]

ds has had a personality transplant since he turned 3. Instead of asking politely for things hes started to scream at me for things and then scream even louder if he doesnt get his own way. He used to accept the meaning 'no' but now i get temper tantrums and him hitting me. He's just turned into a real screamer and seems to be giving attitude all the time.Hes refusing to go bed and then ends up sneaking into mine in the middle of the night. I really dont know how to handle him at the moment.His daddy is working away alot and obviously this has unsettled him-could this be an attention seeking?

yes there is

and the fucking awful fours

and if so how do i deal with it-ive never really had to discipline him before and now if i shout at him he just shout back even louder. I never thought id have child like the ones off super nanny!!!

lol wish i knew that before i got knocked up with number 2!

Oh yes there is!
At my house anyway.
Or at least used to be.

DD1 was a total nightmare at 3 and 4 and 5, not so bad at 6 & 7.
But the worst of it was at 3. She never had the terrible twos.

DD2 was ok at 2 and 3, but she is now 4 and, oh my word! Shreiky damanding tantrums over every little detail.

Best way to handle it? I dont know whatever keeps you sane!
No really its consistency. Never ever give in, and remain the same. Solid and reliable. I dont mean that will instantly cure it, but it might be a shorter lived period of it all.

The "terrible twos" were a walk in the park compared to what my 3.10 year old dd1 is like now. Cheek, shouting, mimicking us...and far more stamina to have a proper full blown tantrum oh yes.

Countess D I fear you may be right as she is getting worse not better. dd2 arrived 12 weeks ago and dd1 is angelic towards her, really loving, but a little cow monkey towards us.

Tonight we implemented the ultimate punishment; (look away now if easily upset)

NO storymakers.

(The neighbours probably thought we were trying to murder her when we told her but my mind was made up and I am the grown up!)

ignore him - don't give him a reaction (tis nigh on impossible sometimes, I know).

SHouting = attention (though negative doesn't seem to make too much difference to them).

Someone on here had rule of 'ask once, tell once, then punish' which seems to work reasonably well on mine (at least in theory). I punish by ignoring. I also turn temporarily deaf if he doesn't ask nicely (after reminding him to say please/turn the volume down - what ever the prob is).

They're little sods at this age. Ds turned 3 last month

p.s. I shout a lot and I hate myself for doing it but you find yourself provoked to the absolute limit and beyond. On the rare days I manage to keep relatively calm and "nice" for most of the time she is marginally better (but still testing a lot of the time).

Shocking isnt it.

I was really shocked with dd1, i wasnt prepared for attitude and back chat at 3!

And, they DO get worse again when they start school. So thats something for you to look forward to.

I know, I thought all that stuff came with teenagers, not 3yos

Before I had kids, I thought - you just tell them. Now I know it makes no fricking difference.

Demon spawn in shape of small 3yo boy.

so is everyone else getting the screaming-feet stamping and hitting? im so glad im not the only one i just cant stop thinking where the hell did this spoilt little brat come from wheres my lovely affectionate little boy gone . does the naughty step work or just ignoring them is enough? grrrrr why now little ones due in 8 wks god help me.

hayCHingleBells is she a diva over getting dressed in the mornings? We have endless rows when I say something cruel and outrageous (such as the lilac tights are in the wash you will have to wear the cream or purple!) cue 10 minutes strop. Then the Dora vest isn't dry yet...and on it goes.

And I stand there with little dd2 looking wide eyed (or throwing up down the back of my pjs) and I think we need to leave for preschool in 12 minutes ....

yes

3 year olds can be mouch worse than 2 year olds

i also think 16 - 22 month olds can be much harder work than when they reach 2 years as well!

yeah the back cht hes only bloody just learn to talk properly! It is exactly like having a teenager again why on earth do people go about the terrible two's so much

I agree, its not the teaching of them not to throw tantrums and behave like a cow, after all they are just kids.
Its us! Its how do we cope with it.

I have to put mine out of earshot, dd2 is so used to having to go into another room, she takes herself now (always with a door slam though, grr).

I do try to talk to them though after theyve calmed down and its a nice quiet moment. About how and why they got so cross, and why mummy had to say no. I find that helps alot.

I also just say, mummys have to say no sometimes sorry. I say this when i dont have a good reason to have told them no. Which also seems to work.

rosebud - don't forget the throwing. That is ds fav at the mo. If you go to take something off him he flings it as hard as he can .

Ignoring works for my ds as it is the worst punishment in his view, more so than naughty step which he spends all his time running away from while screaming at the top of his lungs.

Oh I can't wait for this to be over.

Im telling you, youll just get through one stage/form of tantrums and then it moves on on a different slant.
I have lying with dd1 (7yrs) now, another form of backchat and speking to you like your stupid.
DD2 is still in the "i want it and i want it now, you stupid woman" mode.

threes are the worst. gradually gets better after that, honest. Unless your kids are just awful

that's nice to hear pointydog

ds asked for something the other day, I said not yet, so he asked adding 'please please please please PLEASE mummy'. I said in a minute, and he told me 'please means do it now'

Not sure he's really got the hang of manners yet

(am choosing to ignore Haychee as pointydog's prediction sounds nicer - sorry )

ach. whip him soundly and send him to bed

ah yes, seen haychee's.

well, ages 5 to 11 has been very enjoyable on the whole

My ds1 was an angelic 2 yr old and never had a tantrum until he was 3. My friend refers to them as threenagers!!

he used to scream and scream when we said no to him until he was purple in the face.

i tried the naughty step but found that putting a favourite toy away in the "naughty box" was more successful with him. He hated that and thankfully it was quite a short lived period. He is 4 now and angelic again (mostly)

My youngest has just turned 2 and atarted having tantrums at 18 month but second time around you are more prepared for it.

Stay calm and follow through. If you are consistant whichever method you choose should work.(I usually try distraction - with my youngest. I sing a silly song or find something "interesting" out of the window all of a sudden. This works at 2 but the threenage years are much more testing!! Good luck

My 2.5 year old is a total nightmare at the moment. He runs absolutely everywhere. Today he ran out of the lift at the doctor's, straight into the chemist and even though I was in hot pursuit he managed to grab a bottle of shampoo from the bottom shelf, take of the lid and glug some back before I was able to arrest his progress.

He looked up at me all wild eyed and foamy mouthed as the staff and customers waited to see how I'd handle the situation.

I have to watch him CONTSTANTLY. He honestly is like a wild animal. When I open the car door he bolts like a greyhound from the gate.

He also can't be bothered doing poos in the toilet. He's my fourth and last and I am really pushed to my limit with him.

I'm sorry and I am sympathetic honest, but ROFL at that image of small child wild eyed and foaming at mouth

It was shampoo foam and a yellow trickle. He said, 'Eurch! Spicy mummy' before bolting again into the carpark.

Two days ago he gave me the slip in B&Q and made it out into the car park. His big brother tried to stop him and was bitten on the tummy for his troubles.