May aswell just give up on them

[mightaswelldoit]

Anyone just decide to hand their kids over to their ex husband and his partner and just disappearing and starting again where no one can find me ? I’ve been considering it strongly, and it’s not because I can’t cope because I can and love being a mum to my kids but I can’t compete to them. He left me for her, blamed every thing on me then he had kids with her and she works and he works, they both have cars, they can take kids anywhere they want, have family days out, buy them great stuff and I have nothing, no job ( I was a sahm when he left me) no partner, don’t drive no car, no money. What’s the point in me being a mum to my kids after his partner has played MY ROLE to them, I’ll be nothing but a babysitter for when they are at work, and they can give them more than I can through no fault of my own. She hates me, has a massive grudge against me so she will use the kids to torture me mentally so may as well hand over the kid’s to her and say good luck to her. No wonder some birth mums have nothing to do with their kids because they are forced to walk Away when step mum takes over. I’m sick of having their better status rubbed in my face. Might as well just end my life whilst I’m at it

OP I couldn’t just read and run.

Do you have support, someone to talk to? Please speak to someone about your suicidal feelings - Samaritans are 116 123.

Regardless of what money or material things they have, no one can replace you as their mum. You’re being very hard on yourself, I’m sure you do the best you can.

You are their mum. Nothing and no one can usurp that. It is not fair you are dealing with all this and I am sorry things are so awful for you but kids are not stupid and they will realise the true situation in time. You have the moral high ground so keep your dignity and don't engage in a battle with her and your ex. The children will see their true colours and will value you all the more.

You’re the mum and she can’t take that away, ever. She can try all she likes but she can’t change facts or biology.

You’re envious that must be really really hard -but hands down kids care more about the people that LOVE them the most. You’re doing a better job than you imagine you are.

Please talk to someone IRL

She can NEVER replace you, may be why she's such a dick. You may not be able to offer your kids lots of material things but what you can do is shower them with love and that is worth much more than stuff.

You don't need to compete with them. Is there a contact arrangement in place so that you can stop seeing yourself as their "babysitter" and rather that it's your time/their time instead?

You need to talk to someone who knows how to help you and how you're feeling but your kids want their mum. Yeah, trips to the zoo and other insta worthy trips are all fun but at the end of it all they'll just want you anyway.

Can you start looking for work? Do something that you want to do, for you?

You’re their mum and that’s something their dad or step mum will ever be.

Can you get a job and learn to drive to help with your own self esteem?

There is absolutely nobody who can replace you in your kids eyes.
And you can give your kids the biggest gifts of them all - time and interest and love.
Please talk to someone. Samaritans can be contacted on 116123.
Please dont destroy your kids lives by ending things. You, and they, are worth so much more than that pain.

Hello mightaswelldoit, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when any of our users are feeling this way we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We hope things look a lot brighter for you really soon

You are their mum and they want your love and time.
I do understand what’s it’s like to have an insurmountable problem though. Tackle it bit at a time.
Loads of fun at home ideas and I’m sure others would post more if you have the ages of your children. A few we enjoyed growing up were movie night with nachos, hotdogs, fizzy pop and pop corn. We enjoyed getting involved with cooking especially if there was a theme involved such as Mexican night, Halloween,Lammas anything vague festival or culinary theme was enjoyed. Board games in fact any game they want to play. Treasure hunts with clues. Arts and crafts activities.
Look at local activities and attractions especially events organised by groups. Such as national trust, forestry commission
Local museums sometimes have special weekends where there is more going on. It does take a bit od effort to find events.
I think you’d feel better for getting a job and learning how to drive so that’s probably next to tackle. Depending on where you are there are quite a few jobs around. Tackle the driving last and that will give you the freedom to get a better job