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Parenting

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Original poster

help me be strong for my baby

26 replies

vanessa13 · 01/11/2004 18:34

my daugther was born with a sist on her side, she is now sixteen months old, and has grown into a tumer, the hospital have said it would be best for her to have it cut out. im so scared, i dont have any family or friends around me as have just moved to a new area how do i cope if things go wrong, what if she dosent wake up. i know it sounds selfish but i just feel like not turning up please please please help me be stong for my little girl

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nikcola · 01/11/2004 18:35

hugs, thiniing of you vanessa

essbee · 01/11/2004 18:37

Message withdrawn

Hulababy · 01/11/2004 18:38

(((hugs))) Thinking of you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

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lavender2 · 01/11/2004 18:39

thinking of you ((((((hugs)))))))

PuffTheMagicDragon · 01/11/2004 18:40

Vanessa, ((((hugs)))) to you.

I'm sure someone will come on later who has been through something similar and will be able to reassure you.

maomao · 01/11/2004 18:41

Lots of hugs to you, vanessa13. Whereabouts are you?

nasa · 01/11/2004 18:42

poor you vanessa - sending positive thoughts your way

lars · 01/11/2004 18:43

Vanessa13,
I'm sorry to hear your family and friends don't live near, but there is always a phone and mumsnet. It may be worth speaking to the hospital for a support network, as I know my sister who had a tumour, was giving support by another person who had been through the same thing. This would be a great comfort and support to you.
I know this is really a sad time for you and it's only natural to worry about your child but you know helping her is the best thing to do.

You obvioulsy need time to come to terms with this, but be strong and brave.

Hope all goes well and remember that you are doing the right thing. larsxx

jellyhead · 01/11/2004 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop · 01/11/2004 18:45

Thinking of you and dd, Vanessa. xxxx

Slink · 01/11/2004 19:07

Big hugs and prayers with you and your ddxxxx

myermay · 01/11/2004 19:22

Message withdrawn

jollymum · 01/11/2004 19:28

Vanessa-are there are Mns near you? If you lived near me, I would gladly try and help, maybe coming with you for support. Try us, we may be able to help

Heathcliffscathy · 01/11/2004 19:29

thinking of you and dd vanessa...

RudyDudy · 01/11/2004 19:33

Vanessa - it's not the same thing at all but when DS was 6 weeks old he collapsed and was rushed to hospital. At the time all I can remember thinking was that it wasn't worth it, that having him wasn't worth that level of stress and worry, that it was too much for me to cope with. It is so stressful when something happens to your dc but she will be in the best place with people who are trained to know what they are doing. It will be hard but you can be strong for your little girl and there will always be people on MN to support you.

(((hugs)))

Skate · 01/11/2004 19:35

Vanessa - we are all here for you to talk to and I'm sure if anyone lives by you they'd come and help you. Where are you?

I can only imagine what you are going through but you know she is in the best hands and I'm sure the operation will be fine.

Just know that we are all here for you and you can come on and pour your heart out whenever you like.

Big hugs for you and your dd
xxx

yurtgirl · 01/11/2004 19:49

Message withdrawn

Hausfrau · 01/11/2004 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

highlander · 01/11/2004 20:05

massive hugs for you both. Make sure the hospital knows about your lack of support so they can help. And there's ALWAYS MN!

TwoIfBySea · 01/11/2004 20:31

When is your dd going into hospital Vanessa? You have support on here, I know it is not the same as having someone there. As mentioned, perhaps there is a mumsnetter nearby who would help.

If not then all you have to do is go online and you will have everyone on here giving you advice and comfort.

Hugs to you and your dd.

Original poster

vanessa13 · 01/11/2004 20:32

thanks to everyone who replied i live in great yarmouth if anyone is near by?
you are all so thoughtfull i wish i could give you all a hug thanks again

OP posts:

Tickle · 01/11/2004 20:37

Hi Vanessa - sending you {{{hugs}}} - sorry I'm not in the right country even. But could family or a friend not travel to be with you on the day? It would be nice to have someone there with you. Otherwise I'm sure you'll find all the support you need here. Do you have an appointment for the op?

The medical staff will be brilliant, and best to get it sorted while she is still so young - she will hardly remember it

eemie · 01/11/2004 20:47

Take some food to the hospital that you know she will eat, so that as soon as she's awake enough you can feed her. You'd think the hospital would have that sorted, but in our case they didn't.

My DD (15 months) was starved for several hours before her anaesthetic and when she first came round was scratchy and irritable for a while until I managed to get some biscuits (borrowed from the Mum of the child in the next bed) into her.

I took her home from hospital at 5pm and when dh came in at 6pm he swore that if he hadn't already known about the operation, he wouldn't have guessed that anything different had happened to her that day.

Be brave for her and let the nurses look after you while she's in theatre, they will be very understanding.

All the best

frogs · 01/11/2004 21:14

My ds had an operation at 16 months to have a testicle brought down from the abdomen to the scrotum.

It was absolutely fine he had to starve for six hours before the general anaesthetic, which I thought would be awful, but in fact it just made him sleepy and passive I walked him up and down for four hours (!) while he cuddled his blankie. They put anaesthetic cream on the baby's hand so that they don't feel the needle going in.

They generally let parents stay while the general anaesthetic is administered, which is a bit freaky as the child goes completely floppy -- the nurse said to me it's much harder on the parents to be there, but it's much better for the baby if mum is there, which is why they do it. So I dealt with it by knowing I was doing the best for my baby.

After the operation it took them much longer to come and get me than I'd been led to believe, which panicked me a bit. Apparently they like to get the baby to wake up properly before they call the parents in -- and my ds was slow to wake up, which was actually pretty normal for him! Eventually they called me to his cot before he was awake. When he heard my voice he opened his eyes and smiled at me. I gave him a bottle of milk, which he drained pretty speedily, smiled again and went back to sleep.

He was quite sleepy for the rest of the day, partly because of the pain relief, but suffered no other ill-effects. Worrying about it beforehand was much worse than the reality -- when you're actually there you'll be too busy looking after your baby to worry about her. Also the nursing staff are used to parents feeling scared and are likely to be very supportive.

hth

Arabica · 02/11/2004 17:46

Thinking of you, Vanessa, and hope all goes well. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

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