At what age does nursery/pre-school become beneficial for a child?

[merrynelly]

And how often should they go?

Why is it nonsense?

This is definitely backed up by the studies I have read
I am not an expert, and I've only read what was available via Google, so happy to be proved wrong, but to the best if my knowledge, before the age of around 3, nursery is of much much less benefit than being at home with an attentive caregiver

So, to the best of your knowledge via a quick google search? Not exactly a thorough literature review is it 😂

I think there is a world of difference between detrimental and not noticeably beneficial.

Mine liked it from about 2.5, where they did 2 days a week, building up from 2 half days.

Some awfully judgey comments both ways on this thread.

My DS went in from 7 months as I chose to return to work.

He loves it, goes straight in three days a week and you can tell he has a great bond with the workers there. He’s an only child and a lockdown baby, but as a result of nursery, he’s ridiculous sociable and confident.

I think beneficial is a tricky word, assuming you are not talking about necessary to work/pay bills but more pre-school type hours. I think kids get bits out of nursery but other stuff from being at home. And as someone else said, it might be good for a parent to have a break / build a local network etc, so then beneficial to all. In my opinion you can't at all tell which of dd age 9 or ds age6 had what type of preschool childcare, so I think it needs to be considered in the whole. At the moment with so little available for preschool kids I would expect it to be beneficial for most families from around age2.5 (if not needed for childcare), but if its not something you want to do, then I dont think those automatically kids miss out - just have different benefits

My DD started at 11 month, because I had to go back to work.

Truly, honestly, if I do some real soul searching, I don’t think she benefitted until she was 18 months. I don’t think it harmed her, and the nursery is absolutely nurturing and brilliant. I think it was still worthwhile in the long run for us as it allowed me to pay the bills and retain my career, which will help her have a better quality of life.

Of course, 11-18 months for her was pre pandemic, so on days off we did groups, playgroups, activities and met friends. If that wasn’t on offer, she might have benefitted from nursery earlier.

From 18 months, no doubt she loved it. When it closed in Lockdown 1 she would walk past the gate, look longingly through and ask to go. First day back she ran in at the speed of light. She would role play with her dolls, calling them the name of her key worker and her little friends. I don’t doubt she was getting a lot out of nursery.

Now she’s almost 3 and has a firm set of friends, who she talks about constantly. She’s learned new songs, skills and stories from nursery. It’s a very good part of her life.

@ManicPixie that study was children age 3 plus , there were no comparisons made between children of attentive parents who did not go to childcare at all. A flawed study.

I expected it to be from 2-2.5 but it was really obvious at the end of first lockdown when my then 18 month old went back to nursery after a couple of months home with us just how quickly she started to develop in some areas. Obviously lockdown is a bit different to having a stay at home parent because we were juggling our jobs as well as her but she definitely benefited being back at nursery.

DD started doing two half days at two years old, building up now to two full days (and a nanny on another day). It felt right for her - I just walked into the nursery (which is not particularly smart/new/well-resourced or anything) and thought yes, this is a good place for her. Timing wise it meant she could still nap at home.

I think there are loads of factors at play. Some people are better SAHMs than others / enjoy it more. Some areas (covid aside) have more infrastructure for baby and toddler activities. Obviously the biggie, some people need to go out and work! Quality of childcare also varies - I’ve seen ££££ nurseries where the staff are on their phones/chatting to each other all day, disinterested nannies and some truly shit childminders, as well as great examples of each of those, so it really does depend.

I’d say by three though interaction with peers is very important. I read ages ago something about kids not really benefitting from peer interaction earlier and I find it hard to believe - by two years tops DD had favourite friends who she wanted to play with and cuddle, and she wasn’t unusual in that.

For me 3 is the ideal age, but feel fortunate to be able to wait until then and know not everyone can. Also there are so many variables. If a child is home til 3 with a parent who is struggling or unhappy with the situation for whatever reason, this could be more detrimental than a child starting early and having a happier experience of their parents. For example.

But for me, 3 is the age where they have more capacity to talk about their feelings about being separated from parents, and get help from us to process the feelings and feel secure. Also they are more ready to play constructively with others, toilet trained, have various practical skills that are developing to equip them to navigate the situation.

I sent both of mine age 9 months. The stimulation, which I felt they needed, was far better at nursery than I could give them at home.

@TheMotherlode

Why is it nonsense?

This is definitely backed up by the studies I have read
I am not an expert, and I've only read what was available via Google, so happy to be proved wrong, but to the best if my knowledge, before the age of around 3, nursery is of much much less benefit than being at home with an attentive caregiver

So, to the best of your knowledge via a quick google search? Not exactly a thorough literature review is it 😂

Why the mocking emoji? That poster fully admitted that it wasn't 'a thorough literature review' and was simply sharing her opinion to the best of her knowledge. Besides which, an intense lit review is not often necessary for someone who is not a professional in that field. A Google search does often reveal relevant and trusted study/literature summaries for interested people. Not everyone is able to access university libraries etc . No need for nastiness simply because you disagreed with her viewpoint.

@Somethingsnappy my point is that you shouldn’t present your opinions as facts if you don’t really know what you’re talking about, especially when it’s clearly done just to shame mums who have made different choices. Ultimately, none of us really know what’s best, we’re all just trying to do the right thing for ourselves and our families.

For us, age 3. I'm a SAHM so no childcare need to send mine but both of them have (or will) go to preschool at age 3 for their 15 hours a week until they start school. Purely for the social benefits, I think it's important that they get used to that sort of environment before they start school.

I don't think nursery is detrimental before that age though!

[quote TheMotherlode]@Somethingsnappy my point is that you shouldn’t present your opinions as facts if you don’t really know what you’re talking about, especially when it’s clearly done just to shame mums who have made different choices. Ultimately, none of us really know what’s best, we’re all just trying to do the right thing for ourselves and our families.[/quote]
But she didn't present her opinion as fact. She presented her opinion based on the literature she had read, by her own admittance. And said she was happy to be told otherwise or proved wrong. Which I note you have not done.

By her own admission

2+ benefit, and around 5 sessions minimum (eg) 5 half days/3 full days.
But it does no harm earlier, DD goes 4 full days from 13.5 months and she’s thriving but it’s for work not her benefit.

I was a SAHM when my DC were little, and they went from between 2.5yo and 3yo for 3 mornings a week to begin with, increasing to longer hours later on. That seemed to work well for them.

My son started going part time at 14 months when I went back to work. He was very happy there and they did lots of activities with him, however I wouldn’t say it was any more beneficial than being at hone with parents/family. However from 2yrs old, I definitely saw him actively benefiting in several ways from his attendance, and even more so since he moved up to the preschool room aged 3.

Oh and timings, he does 2 full days and 2 half days. It feels like a nice balance for me between work and home life. The full days (8-5) were probably a little long when he was under 2yrs old, he was very tired when he got home, but still happy. Mind you, even at 3.5yrs old, he’s still very tired when he gets home from nursery! They just do some much with them and the kids are outdoors most of the day.