At what age does nursery/pre-school become beneficial for a child?

[merrynelly]

And how often should they go?

My DS is 19 months and definitely has 'friends' at nursery. He always hangs out with the same two boys and they stand in the corner babbling to each other and laughing at each other's 'jokes'. They're proper troublemakers and it's adorable. Although I don't agree with all of it, there's a book by Oliver James which basically says you should play to your strengths. For some mothers, that will be staying at home with their children. For others, it will be nursery. For other's, it will be something in between. Nursery is definitely the best for me and my DS.

Can't believe people are saying only from 3 to be honest! I'd say from around 18m mine actively enjoyed it and from 2 was excited to go. She is articulate, sociable and very interested in counting, learning numbers and letters, playing outside etc - all things she can do at nursery. Although she is shy she hasn't once been sad about going in. She isn't 3 for another few months and honestly that seems far too old to start to me - she's more than capable of handling the nursery environment and with lockdown it has provided stimulation that would be missing elsewhere. I'm on maternity with an easy baby and would have her at home to save money but it seems cruel to pull her out when she loves it so much! She can tell me a lot about her day, including quoting parts of books they've read together (Going on a bear hunt etc). In what way is she too young to benefit from it?!

My little ones have gone since before they turned one - because I choose to work to ensure they have everything they need from me now and in the future.

Both are well adjusted, empathetic, curious, bright little things. They do loads of creative activities and spend lots of time outside. They also learn songs and stories and read a lot.
My oldest is 2.5 and comes home telling me
Stories and singing songs ive never heard. He has a group of little friends and they absolutely love each other, he runs around like mad with the boys but is best friends with one of the girls and they sit and giggle and whisper to each other.
They absolutely have friends - as in other children they actively enjoy being around and show empathy towards.

It’s all well and good saying that children are better at home until 3 but what do you actually do with them? Drag them around Asda or the same park every day? Do you think that you can replicate an early learning environment at home when you’re also doing the washing, cleaning and life admin at the same time?
Nurseries follow early learning guidance which is developed to grow a child’s abilities.
Sorry but most stay at home parents can’t be replicating that. Attachment doesn’t just mean mum and dad - attachment can also be to care givers at nurseries. Both of mine have strong bonds with the staff at the nursery. I see that as extra love - it’s not taking anything away from their attachment to me.

I spend lots of quality time with my kids, we have a fabulously close relationship and they are honestly so happy to go to nursery and they are happy to be picked up. It’s what they know and enjoy.

I feel sorry for the kids who miss out on it to be honest - not that they will realise of course.

Mine both started at 3. They went 5 days per week for 4 hours. Both went for 2 years.

I'd usually say age 3 but ds isn't 3 until august and he's just started because of Covid putting all his play groups etc on hold. He's building up to one 3 hour session a week in half an hour increments so it's a very short amount of time in a week but he's enjoying it and that's the main thing.

I thought the studies said one to one is ideal parent or childminder until 2 years then Preschool/ nursery benefits them.

I am a SAHM and I sent my DS two mornings a week to a preschool that takes from age 2. He went twice a week. My younger DS will do the same, I've already signed him up at the same place.

I did change preschools when he turned 3 to a school one but it wasn't right for my DS, he wasn't ready as a summer born, so he returned to the old one after a term ( thankfully I managed to get him back in, and gradually upped his time.) I would consider the school nursery again for DS2, it's just personality and age.

It would be interesting if anyone said they thought that starting nursery young had been bad for their child. I doubt anyone would ever admit that.

My Dsis is a infant teacher, and she said when she used to do reception that she could tell the ones that had been in full time childcare from early on. She said they were often more bolshy, and used to asking for things. She said the confidence was a positive thing, but they were more prone to being aggressive. I'm not entirely sure how she could know what their background was, but maybe in terms of what preschools/ nurseries they came from. She wouldn't of known the age they started .

My DC went to childminders until they were 3 and then on to school nursery.

Child minder was best for us as its a home from home environment and then school nursery was great for getting them used to school.

I found when I returned to work it was quite beneficial for my children to have someone feed, change and play with them, babies really are quite needy like that.

My daughter started at preschool for 3 half days a week when she was 2.5. She loved it from the start and skipped in happily to see her friends.
Since September, so aged 3 and a bit, she has really started to talk about the learning that they do and exploring letters and numbers. She now goes 3 full days a week and looks forward to it, has friends that she plays with regularly and adores her teachers.

Depends on the child, the purpose of nursery (is it needed for childcare or is it just for socialising and/or education?), the long term plans for the child’s education.

For my child, three half days from age four is working well. Five was too many for him, he has autistic traits and was overwhelmed. I don’t need it for childcare (split shifts and babysitters cover work) and I don’t plan to send him to school.

My daughter is a completely different child and I’m thinking of two or three half days from September when she’ll be 2 years 8 months in a Welsh immersion setting

Their cousin loved nursery from 15 months or so for two full days a week.

This thread isn’t going to go well.

@Ohpulltheotherone

My little ones have gone since before they turned one - because I choose to work to ensure they have everything they need from me now and in the future.

Both are well adjusted, empathetic, curious, bright little things. They do loads of creative activities and spend lots of time outside. They also learn songs and stories and read a lot.
My oldest is 2.5 and comes home telling me
Stories and singing songs ive never heard. He has a group of little friends and they absolutely love each other, he runs around like mad with the boys but is best friends with one of the girls and they sit and giggle and whisper to each other.
They absolutely have friends - as in other children they actively enjoy being around and show empathy towards.

It’s all well and good saying that children are better at home until 3 but what do you actually do with them? Drag them around Asda or the same park every day? Do you think that you can replicate an early learning environment at home when you’re also doing the washing, cleaning and life admin at the same time?
Nurseries follow early learning guidance which is developed to grow a child’s abilities.
Sorry but most stay at home parents can’t be replicating that. Attachment doesn’t just mean mum and dad - attachment can also be to care givers at nurseries. Both of mine have strong bonds with the staff at the nursery. I see that as extra love - it’s not taking anything away from their attachment to me.

I spend lots of quality time with my kids, we have a fabulously close relationship and they are honestly so happy to go to nursery and they are happy to be picked up. It’s what they know and enjoy.

I feel sorry for the kids who miss out on it to be honest - not that they will realise of course.

I think this is really, really sad - the part about what do you do with your child at home. Children don't NEED formal education from being tiny; everything they need developmentally can be achieved at home. It's such a shame that this isn't valued, and that the default setting seems to be about sending them to nursery.

Do you think that you can replicate an early learning environment at home when you’re also doing the washing, cleaning and life admin at the same time?

Since most people use paid childcare to work, aren’t they also fitting in washing, cleaning and admin to the time their children are at home with them?

There are also plenty of learning opportunities for a small child if you involve them in housework and cooking - numbers, colours, counting, shapes, how to make and do things.

You take quite a blinkered view of what’s needed to enable and encourage a child to learn. They learn from everything around them, all the time. If they didn’t, children with no formal education before school would be completely incapable at school.

Do you think that’s the case?

In normal times, I think with an enthusiastic, motivated and reasonably intelligent parent, yes it can be replicated. In lockdown, no. Especially if you are being strict about not going to the supermarket etc. Even non-working, motivated parents struggled with reception children last year with home learning (I taught infants last year) - there isn't some magical point at age 4 when children suddenly benefit from school when age 3 they didn't from nursery. I'm talking about the social side of things much more than the academic side. I also think it's interesting hearing parents of 3 year olds talking about them 'building up' to a couple of hours a day. My child did mornings and now does two full days and manages absolutely fine. They stop for a lot of snacks/meals with tidying up time beforehand so the day fills quickly and isn't particularly tiring for her. She also eats better at nursery than she does at home.

I would say my DS enjoyed it from age 2. He is a very gregarious child, so he enjoys the company of other kids immensely, and he loves the organised arts and crafts and story time and singing in groups.

Not sure if it's been pointed out, but it's hugely beneficial for the parents too if kids are in nursery. Which makes home life for kids more balanced.

I worked in a lovely preschool setting for 6 years and this is what I noticed:

2+ found it bewildering, but would usually settle and accept the new routine of being away from home - some found it very hard, lots of distraught tears, some were more prosiac but none of them I'd say were positively AD-vantaged over an optimal home setting

3+ came a change, a much more positive experience beginning to unfurl

3.5 - by this age, many would run into nursery without a backwards look, find a friend (some very strong friendships formed at this age) and continue the game they had begun yesterday with genuine purpose and joy.

@MyDcAreMarvel

Nursery is detrimental before age 3. After that a child will gain benefits, but it’s no substitute for care from an attentive parent , attending toddler groups, play dates with a parent etc. Only if a parent has barriers to support their child due to poverty, mental health etc can nursery be a better option.

Your first sentence isn’t true: www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/long-term-study-following-4500-children-links-childcare-better-outcomes

@ApplesinmyPocket that's really interesting. I started my DS at 2 and he seemed to accept it fine having never been apart from me. He would get upset if he could see my outside waiting at pickup though but not on drop off. He loved the sand, the toys and being outdoors. I suppose for him he coped, so it was a bit of relief I'd come back so would get upset, bless him. I think age 3 would of been too late for my sanity and for him to learn to separate. I suppose 3 is more beneficial, but only if they have other people involved that can take them for a few hours like aunties/ uncles or Grandparents.

@MrsSchrute

Why is it nonsense?

This is definitely backed up by the studies I have read.
I am not an expert, and I've only read what was available via Google, so happy to be proved wrong, but to the best if my knowledge, before the age of around 3, nursery is of much much less benefit than being at home with an attentive caregiver.

What studies?? Evidence based....peer reviewed ones??

DS got the 15 free hours from age 2. He's an April baby so I had to wait until September before he could access nursery. He was more than ready and in the last 8 months his speech has come on so much! It's really helped his development.

He goes 2 days a week and I pay for breakfast club so he's there from 7.30 til 1. I get the 30 hours from September this year so he'll go 3 days 9-4

@ApplesinmyPocket It's interesting observation, but wouldn't suggests that's true for everyone.
My 2yo will run straight into nursery in the morning, barely a look back, and find his friend and start running around. And then at the end of the day does a little dance when he sees me and runs out telling me what he's done that day.

It's massively depends on the child

My DD started just before she turned 1. She's be 2 in July. Her speech is amazing. Way beyond what's expected at her age. She's brilliant at sharing and taking teens etc.
It's definitely been beneficial for her. Essentially so with lockdown.
She does 9-3. 3 or 4 days a week.

It depends on the child and the alternative. If you have a fulltime parent at home with a wide network of friends / family / activities or are settled with a nanny or childminder its never strictly necessary. Dd went mornings at 3 - was good for her - a break from her little brother, made friends etc, ds1 went 2.5 days at 3 - it was fairly pointless for him, he drifted around and would have been as (probably more) happy doing playgroups and sports things with me / our nanny, ds2 is full time at 2 - because in covid times there are no other out of the home toddler activities and I need to work. Ds2 is very happy, has friends, the staff are nice and the do lots of activities.