Struggling with 6 month old

[JunoBJB]

Just need somewhere to vent really so I hope this is ok. My daughter is six months old and has always been a bit of a pain to feed - she is bottle fed and will go through phases of refusing her bottles and I really struggle to get enough milk down her. This week we have hit a new low and she doesn’t seem to want milk at all. We have started weaning so I don’t know if that’s anything to do with it but it’s taking me hours throughout the day to feed her and I am really struggling to cope with how difficult she is.

I have called the Dr, spoken to health visitor but no one seems to be much help apart from to say she is teething. I suffer from health anxiety which I think causes them to automatically assume I am being hysterical when I’m not. Feeding her has become a horrendous experience for both of us and I am just so, so down about it.

Apologies for the rant. Just thought some people with a bit more experience might have some words of wisdom for me.

Thanks x

Anyone?

How much is she getting over a 24 hour period on average?

Some days are better than others - I can normally get about 800 - 900ml down her. Is that maybe about 30oz? But today she is just flat out refusing. It’s not so much the quantity that is worrying me as it is how difficult it is to feed her! Feel like it’s really affecting my bonding with her. X

Ok so firstly, that's enough milk for their required vitamins/nutrition etc, so I wouldn't worry about that. They only need 400ml of milk within 24 hours so cover all the nutrition so you're well above that.

I would just continue to give milk as and when baby needs it, and supplement with food through weaning.

Offering watering whenever it is hot/sunny etc

Also, there's a possibility that she can sense your anxiety/frustration etc (not your fault at all) so maybe just offer the bottle, if she doesn't want it, then just leave it and try again later.

Bottles will be gone in another 6 months so it really isn't worth getting worked up about when it'll all be over soon

What size teat do you use? My lo is 7 months old and can be a pain to feed when her teeth are hurting so I use a size 3 mam teat instead of usual size 2. As it comes out so fast seems to help getting milk into her quickly when she's teething. If your lo is eating well you could always try mixing foods with her milk to then at least you know shes getting the nutrients etc??

I've literally just tentatively come out the other side of this and it is utterly soul destroying. DD used to drink 210 every 3 hours and more at bed/nighttime then she's gone down to 120, fussing, grinning, wriggling, refusing the bottle. The health visitor told me she was still getting enough to thrive and to focus on getting solids into her which has gone well. What worked for me was letting go of the anxiety over feeding because it didn't make a blind bit of difference to how much she drank and at one point I only made bottles of 150 so psychologically I didn't feel so pressured by the unfinished bottle but then I could make more if she decides she wanted it. If she's getting enough to thrive then I would try and work on your own reactions to this, it is incredibly frustrating and I very almost returned to work because I just couldn't cope. Hope things improve soon

Thank you so much everyone.

@Conditionconditioncondition thank you for the advice and you’re so right. If we can do another six months they’ll be gone which I will be so pleased about.

@Yaty were using size 3 mam teats for the same reasons as you - gets the milk down her more quickly! She had been doing really well on these but seems to have gone back to being as slow as she was on the size 2 now for some reason. Some feeds are taking an hour and it is soul destroying!

@Walesrecommendations so sorry you’ve had the same. It’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones though in some ways. I was thinking of making smaller bottles as you’re right, you feel so pressured when you can see there’s loads left. We have been advised to focus on solids now too but she’s at the awkward phase of not really eating much yet. Do you mind me asking how old your daughter is and when did it start to get better?

Thanks again x

She was 7 months last week, she went through a similar phase at 3 months too. This time it lasted much longer though and to be honest she's still drinking bugger all but because she's having more solids and I've managed to adjust my mindset it seems like a better situation! I found she really likes mashed banana and have been giving her that for breakfast then something else she really likes for lunch, I figure we can try different things when she's eating more consistently. What I did do was up her solids from once a day at lunchtime to breakfast lunch and dinner which has helped her get the idea more.

@Walesrecommendations thanks so much for the advice. Sounds really similar to my daughter! She has been through these phases on and off but this one seems to be the worst. I wondered if it’s some sort of leap? Can you blame everything on a leap? Haha. I think I’ll take your advice and up the solids as that’s the direction we need to go in anyway. How much is your daughter drinking now with three meals? X

When DS went on bottle strike due to teething at about the same age we started letting him have a go at cups, and the novelty got him to drink decently.

Depends on her coordination, obviously, but could be worth a go.

Weirdly she drinks the same! She was premature so started on 60ml bottles and I think I sort of assumed the amount babies drank just increased and increased until they were on solids, but now I'm thinking maybe the smaller bottles are more realistic and the previous size feeds were the growth spurt. Oh yes, it's always a leap

@Amrythings thank you for the suggestion - the health visitor actually recommended this too! Will give it a go maybe even if it’s just to get a little bit extra in her. Thank you!

@Walesrecommendations funnily enough my daughter was premature too! What gestation was yours born at? Mine was 35 weeks. But I know what you mean - I also compare her to other babies her age who guzzle loads and she just doesn’t seem to be able to! Also they were very strict on feeds when I was in hospital and I think that has scarred me a bit. X

My DD did this. She is 18mo now but would have a few days or even a week where she would be 'off' her bottles. I remember one day crying with frustration when she drank maybe the equivalent of like 1.5 bottles when she would drink 3 or 4. But it would stop as suddenly as it started. She would be teething though sometimes it was the only sign she was. People would say it would stop and at the time i couldn't believe them. But it did and she hasn'tnt done past 7 months or so or not the same extent. I found the only way was to make sure she was sleepy/sleeping then give her the bottle then and she would down the lot in a sleep state. She has taken her milk like a dream since then but it was scary when she did this. She also had teeth appear early so maybe she got the bad bits out the way sooner.

She was 34+3 so similar! I've always watched her intake like a hawk too, and you're always trying to get more into them so it's worrying when it suddenly drops off. Although I know term babies who have never drunk as much as she has at her peak! Think I'll try a cup too as DD will take water that way.

@TheNinny thank you for the reply and I totally agree - it feels like it will never end even though it has done before. It’s so hard to get yourself through it sometimes isn’t it! I have done the same today, cried with frustration and just thought to myself god I need a break from this. It’s the constant whining that is really getting to me at the moment and the feeling of being out of control!

@Walesrecommendations I’m the same with watching her intake. Hope a cup is successful for you! Also sorry if I’m asking too many questions but what is your rough routine like in the day? Trying to get my head around fitting in solids and bottles at the same time

I was about to suggest cups or straws.
By Six months my older children drank well from cups and I would leave them with a cup when I went to work as I breast fed at home. In fact by 7 months DS2 was getting all fluids from cups so it needn't be a battle for months to come .

If she’s weaning then make her breakfast with weetabix or porridge made with a cup of formula and cooked down. Then at least you know she’s had some

My almost 11 month old is exactly like this and has been since birth (bottle fed from start). She also was born early, 36 weeks. She’s going through another fussy phase with milk again now but I’ve learnt to just let her get on with it - if she wants it, she’ll take it.

30oz sounds pretty good to me though, my DD never took that much! Easier said than done but try not to worry, she won’t starve herself and on the days she doesn’t take much milk you can always give a multivitamin if you’re worried about nutrients.

She gets up anywhere between 6.30 and 8.30 (routine, ha!) And has solids pretty soon after then a bottle about 45-60 mins later then solids at 12 followed by a bottle then a bottle at 3-4pm, then if she seems hungry she has something solid wise around 5 then bed and bottle at 6.30pm. I expect people will think it's no wonder she doesn't drink much if she has solids before bottle but I started this when she wasn't actually taking in any solids and I wanted her to be hungry for something when I was trying. Plus she drinks the same regardless!

@yikesanotherbooboo thank you! Will definitely, definitely give the cup a go. Didn’t even think of a straw but good idea too! This is exactly what I needed - some advice from more experienced mums! Thanks so much.

@GrumpyHoonMain thanks for the suggestion - will try this too. The health visitor also said about making weetabix up. Silly question but how mushy does it need to be?

@Vicky1989x thank you Vicky! I think you’re right - I need to try and just go with it. I also bottle fed from the start and think I might have a little bit of disappointment left over about not being able to breastfeed that also impacts how I feel about feeding her. Does your daughter eat well with solids? X

@Walesrecommendations thanks so much that’s really helpful. And we’re the same in the morning - very variable routine haha. I don’t think that about the solids at all - totally understand because my daughter is totally unpredictable and at times can go hours without wanting milk but other times will finish a bottle after solids. She’s a mystery haha! Do you just let her take what she wants from the bottle? Thanks so much x

Mainly, but then she'll normally grizzle shortly after so I'll give her a bit more, it's so hard to tell though and I don't want to inadvertently force the bottle on her and cause more of an issue. Sometimes when she breaks off feeding I'll just leave her on my lap and play with her/make faces etc then try again, trying to make it less stressful and more laid back for both of us. Sometimes I think she just gets distracted but she still drinks the same if I feed her in a dark room so who knows! The first time she was like this it was a nightmare because she just cried all the time wanting a top up and it really exacerbated things just feeding constantly. This time round she seems to just genuinely not be hungry.

How mushy it is depends on if you want to feed it to her or you want to self-feed. DS was blw and we used to make the lumpiest porridge possible in the early days while he was getting to grips with things.

@JunoBJB same feelings here! It’s very hard mentally I used to stress myself out so much (still do at times) but I realise it just makes me miserable when I should be enjoying her! She absolutely loves food! Haven’t found anything she doesn’t like yet - she deffo prefers food over milk! That being said she’s been fussy with food last few days too but I think she’s teething.