Struggling with 6 month old

[JunoBJB]

Just need somewhere to vent really so I hope this is ok. My daughter is six months old and has always been a bit of a pain to feed - she is bottle fed and will go through phases of refusing her bottles and I really struggle to get enough milk down her. This week we have hit a new low and she doesn’t seem to want milk at all. We have started weaning so I don’t know if that’s anything to do with it but it’s taking me hours throughout the day to feed her and I am really struggling to cope with how difficult she is.

I have called the Dr, spoken to health visitor but no one seems to be much help apart from to say she is teething. I suffer from health anxiety which I think causes them to automatically assume I am being hysterical when I’m not. Feeding her has become a horrendous experience for both of us and I am just so, so down about it.

Apologies for the rant. Just thought some people with a bit more experience might have some words of wisdom for me.

Thanks x

@Walesrecommendations I know what you mean about causing more of an issue - I think we’re going to have a bottle aversion on our hands if we’re not careful as sometimes she cries when she sees it. It’s truly, truly awful! Sounds like you’re getting a good balance and managing not to put too much pressure on yourself which is good. Thanks so much for all your replies!

@GrumpyHoonMain oooh I didn’t even think you could do porridge for BLW so thanks for the tips! Will definitely try that out.

@Vicky1989x that’s so good that she loves her food! I’m really hoping my girl will be like that so I can try to forget this awful stage. It is so, so hard mentally I agree. I don’t really enjoy her at all - I just spend my days worrying about how much she’s eating and then don’t even get me started on her development/the fact she isn’t rolling over yet! It’s a nightmare. Thanks for your help x

@JunoBJB Oh don’t worry, I’m a worrier too! My DD didn’t roll until 8.5 months and I was constantly googling and convincing myself something was wrong but she done it in her own time! Started army crawling last week too after I was Googling like a mad woman and stressing myself out 🤣 The older they get, the different things you worry about. It is hard, but after each milestone they hit it does get a bit easier! x

@Vicky1989x oh my god I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one! Google is my worst enemy haha. Glad your daughter is doing so well - she sounds like she’s getting more and more fun by the day! I think you’re right though. Once she can do a bit ‘more’ I think I’ll relax a little - I had a horrendous pregnancy and it’s taking me some time to believe that she’s ok!

Thanks again everyone for all of your help xx

My 7 month old is exactly the same. The minute we started weaning, that was it: he wasn't interested in his bottles. He's my 4th and I've never had this problem before.
He was super interested in food from the get go so very quickly, he was on 3 meals a day and now has snacks as well. I put formula in his cereal and make sure he has lots of dairy in his diet. I make up 90/120mls bottles and he very rarely finishes them. In all, I offer 4 bottles a day (+90mls in his porridge). I don't push the bottle feeding as like you say, it's just too stressful. Hv didn't seem bothered when I saw her and he's jumped from the 50th to the 75th centile in height so I'm not worried.
I do give him vitamins though which I didn't do with my others as they drink a lot more formula.

@THNG5 thanks so much, good to know my girl isn’t the only one! Can I ask what vitamins you give? I think my best best is to crack on with the weaning and hopefully we can kiss bottles goodbye sooner rather than later! Thanks again x

[quote JunoBJB]@THNG5 thanks so much, good to know my girl isn’t the only one! Can I ask what vitamins you give? I think my best best is to crack on with the weaning and hopefully we can kiss bottles goodbye sooner rather than later! Thanks again x[/quote]
@JunoBJB I use Abidec multivitamin drops. I put them in his porridge.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I did not find weaning enjoyable at all so feel your stress. Do you think she is teething? I know that sometimes they find it uncomfortable to drink from a bottle tit when they're teething so you could try putting her milk in a sippy cup instead and see if that makes a difference. Now that you've started weaning you can up her calcium uptake with cheese and yoghurt. I would say the main thing is take each feed at a time. If she is refusing then give yourself a break and then try again in half an hour. It's easier said than done but try to take the stress out of it and it will be easier for you both. You are doing a great job so don't worry!

@THNG5 thank you - will check those out!

@Mamabear04 thank you for the suggestions - you’re so right about taking each one at a time. I find it difficult to leave it because I get so panicky if she doesn’t want it and I think that’s probably caused problems in itself. It’s been hard because I don’t feel I can feed her anywhere but home so I’m feeling a bit trapped. Thanks for your kind words

Just try feeding her outside and when you do, decide before you do it if she doesn't eat it won't be a problem, dont make a fuss if she won't eat - just enjoy being out and about and then feed her at her next meal when you get home. It's so important for you to get out and see people and she will enjoy it too.
My LO wouldn't eat much sometimes and i used to get so upset about it because she was so skinny but my mum said that I was the same as a child and as long as the LO is meeting their milestones then not to worry. She definitely will eat if she's hungry. For me I found that my LO actually liked food with a lot of flavour and refused plain "baby friendly" food. They are little mysteries!

@JunoBJB yeah, more and more fun with a load of attitude to go with it 😂 Sorry to hear that 😞 I had a bad pregnancy too, IUGR so was induced and she was a tiny 3lb 9oz which is why I panic so much about her feeding! She’s about 18lb 3oz at almost 11 months so still small but doing okay but I still panic a lot! You’ll get there though, it does get easier

@Mamabear04 you’re so right - I just need to bite the bullet and do it! I’m miserable sat inside and it will do her good too!

@Vicky1989x could I message you? If you can even message on mumsnet as I’m no pro haha. My pregnancy was IUGR too and it’d be great to speak to someone who had a similar experience!

@JunoBJB of course you can! I’m on my phone so not sure how different it is but if you click on the 3 dots on one of my posts then hit PM.. I think anyway 😂

Sorry, I haven't read all the replies..but I has exactly this problem. It became a battle to feed and took over an hour and often she'd have half the normal amount. She'd squirm out of my lap, move her head away or purse her lips shut.

In the end I tried to be responsive..even though her hunger cues had died down so couldn't easily tell when she was hungry.

I fed her within 4hrs but closer to 3.5/4hrs and however much she wanted. If she had quite a lot less I fed her every 3hrs.

I think it was down to teething but also her realising when she was full and being old enough to push back if she was full....but who knows!!

I was very paranoid amount weight loss as she lost loads of weight after birth. So I have a set of scales and weighed her frequently to make sure it didn't drop too much and tracked

Also I have health anxiety too..so I can relate with the constant worrying and googling. It can be all consuming

@New2020 we have had to change our tactics and become purely responsive too, but like you say it’s really hard to tell when they’re hungry at this age! She’s been having about 2/3 of what she’d normally have but I’m hoping that will increase as we lay off the pressure. I am really paranoid that her weight isn’t going to go up but I feel like it’s getting to breaking point!

Sorry you have health anxiety too - it ruins my life some days and is really debilitating. Makes situations like this all the more difficult. How are you doing now? Would you say your little one was drinking a lot less when you left her to it? Did it ever impact her weight? I think my daughter is teething so I’m hoping it’ll pass but it’s been going on for a week and a half now so I’m not sure! Xx

Hey @junoBJB just to potentially give you some hope my DD is feeding 'normally' again after a weird 3-4 weeks so it may pass, hope you're doing ok.

@Walesrecommendations oh my god I so hope it passes! I do think she’s teething as she seems generally unhappy but I just keep thinking oh my goodness she’s not having anywhere near as much as she should be - she must be starving?! She doesn’t seem it though! Xx

@Walesrecommendations also glad to hear your daughter is feeding better - what a relief! They are strange little mysteries aren’t they x

@JunoBJB I hate my anxiety, it's there everyday and caused by a poor birth experience and post csection recovery. It's made me so much more afraid of everything. Covid hasn't helped!

She is drinking better now, and I think it might be down to teething as she has has 2 front teeth appear recently. She used to drink 210ml consistently...and then would have as little as 80ml. I tried to feed her more frequently to try to make sure she got about 800ml over the day

It comes and goes strangely. She's 5mnths now and it started at 3months after her last set of jabs. Some days she feeds as normal and then she suddenly gets fussy again. At first I thought maybe upping feeds to 210ml was too much for her so she wasn't getting hungry, or the gap between feeds was too short..so being responsive and feeding every 3.5 to 4hrs rather than 3hrs might have helped. Saying that sometimes it would be a 4hr gap and she'd still only have 120ml

I try not to force her to feed and try to offer the bottle over the hour of the feed but then leave it and feed her a bit sooner than 4hrs if she doesn't want more

Her weight dipped very slightly sometimes but is tracking and she's still putting on weight

If you can, maybe try to get some scales for home so you're reassured?

@New2020 that sounds exactly like my daughter. Funnily enough she started getting fussy after her 3 month jabs too. I thought it was because of those but like you say it has continued on and off but is particularly bad at the moment. I used to be able to get her to drink about 1000ml and now she’s doing 700 - I’m really concerned! I think she is teething too but it has come to breaking point where I can’t even get her to do the smallest amount of milk and my husband is having to do a lot of the feeds. I actually have my own scales but I think I’ve been weighing her too often and that has probably cause me more anxiety than relief. Sorry to hear about your poor birth experience and recovery, I can relate to that totally as it has almost ruined these early months for me. I hope it gets better for you soon

Also since there are a few prem mummies on here just wondering if anyone still works out the milk your babies should be having? I can’t break the habit of doing her weight multiplied by 150ml and I think that is really affecting me as I feel it’s a target we always miss! Thanks x

I never got taught to calculate her milk intake! Probably a good thing though..less anxiety over it.

Oh definitely! That’s what they did for my daughter the week she was in and I think I’ve stuck to it as a security blanket but it’s come back to bite me now! Xx

I know this is an old thread but I haven't found any similar and was just wondering how your little ones got on. My little girl is 6 months and is barely taking 3oz 5 times a day...last week she was taking 6 oz easily 5 times a day. She's gone through these phases of refusal before and I'm just after some reassurance that letting her figure it our is the right thing to do?