Do you feel guilty putting your children in childcare on days that you're not working?

[Lsquiggles]

I currently work two days per week and my DD is looked after by her grandparents on those days which is a huge help. My DD loves her days with them but she needs some interaction with other children (only child in the family and no spaces in groups local to me) so I want to put her into nursery for one day during the week. I think she'll love it as she's very social and wants to play with any child she sees when we're out

There are no extra hours going at my work so the day she will be at nursery I'll be at home not working. I don't know why but I feel really guilty about this, is this common? In one way it will be good for me mentally to have one day to myself to get on top of house stuff that I end up stressing about all week, but equally feel like people will judge and think I'm sat here watching TV all day instead of looking after my child.

My son did 5 days and I didn’t work!!

One day a week is sometimes a bit hard for them to settle

I would feel no guilt doing this! Do it.

Where we lived in the U.K. we couldn’t find a nursery that would do less than 2 days or 4 half days a week.

I also find nurseries in the U.K. very expensive for what they are, but our experience wasn’t great.

But if you can afford it and you feel you need a break, I’d go for it. My son stays in his nursery for a full day when I do half days because I need the break.

@Veuvestar

My son did 5 days and I didn’t work!!

At what age was this?

Assuming you can afford this and your partner if you have one also has time to themselves, then I absolutely can’t fathom why anyone would feel guilty. Is this some sort of weird thing women do to make their lives harder?!
I work part time. My child goes one extra day and has done for years. I love it and don’t ever clean or do useful jobs. I just enjoy my life. My child is very happy to go and play with their friends.

Seriously women, buck your ideas up.

(I am a women)

He was 4 and well ready for school, he was much better off there.
Tbf I was looking for work and they couldn’t keep his space open

Of course you shouldn’t feel guilty. Can you imagine a man feeling guilty about something like this?

My 2.5yr old DS goes to nursery full time because I work full time. He’s been going since he was 14 months. He loves it. I’ll be on mat leave from next week, but I will keep his hours at nursery (might pick him up a bit earlier / drop off later possibly) - mostly because I’ve paid for it and will need to give notice to reduce his hours, but also because a) I would like some time off without him around before the baby arrives b) I would like to spend some time alone with the new baby when she arrives, to establish breastfeeding and go to groups etc and c) it will be beneficial to my DS to keep his routine as consistent as possible with all the upheaval of a newborn.

I have not a single shred of guilt about it.

I wouldn’t have missed my days off with my DDs . They were so precious

@PinkPurpleParade

Not at all. I work FT now but used to work 3 days a week, and DD went to nursery for 4 days. That one day to myself allowed me to recoup, get the house in order, go to the gym, just generally look after myself a bit better.

Now I work 5 days, DD is in nursery 3 days and grandparents 2 days, and I look like a chubby scruff as never have any free time and the house is a bombsite. I blame DCat

Chubby scruff has made my day!

My dd is 21 months. I have just finished work for maternity leave and she will continue going for her two days per week whilst I am off.

I think they need to go more than one day a week to get into the routine and settle more.

Worksleep, I am the same. Work fulltime, kids in minder fulltime. I would take an odd day off from time to time to e.g. get a haircut, dentist, buy work clothes. I never felt guilty because we had no other help. I was with the kids all evenings and weekends. We never went for nights out, weddings etc without the kids. I felt that this was the only bit of time I got, when I was not working or minding them.

I wouldn't broadcast it though. A lot of colleagues work 3 days, have grandparents to take kids for days out, evening babysitting etc. They forget their privilege and were very contemptuous the few times I told them. They got plenty of breaks each week from family, nights out. They didn't care that I never had nights out and were jealous of my day to go for coffee, have a haircut.

I would use two mornings a week, your DD will settle in quicker if it's less hours in one stretch and twice a week rather than once.

I don't work and I pay for my nearly 3 yo to have 2 sessions at preschool. She loves it, they do much more educational stuff than I can. Her brothers are at school and she loves that she does to "school" with them too. I spend the time cleaning , washing and cooking, so it's not like I'm scratching my arse.

Absolutely no judgement but I don't do it. Slightly different but I work full time (primary teacher) and don't send them in when I'm not working even though I have to pay for it.
I don't know why I just always did it, they have both been in crèche from 6 months and while I know they are happy there I also know ( they can tell me now) that they are much happier at home. I would feel guilty if they were in there while I was at home.

Absolutely do it.

A day to get all your shit done is ideal.

You also need a break so don't feel bad.
I still cheer if my DD wants to spend the day with her GP and she's 8

Hell no!

Not even a little bit

@Veuvestar

He was 4 and well ready for school, he was much better off there. Tbf I was looking for work and they couldn’t keep his space open

Oh I see! A practically school-aged child and you were job hunting is very different I think.

There was a poster on here the other day who was putting her tiny baby (less than a year old) in nursery more or less full time while she did nothing. I thought that was pretty grim. Your situation totally different.

Win-win. Do it

Most nurseries are 2 day minimum xx

@user1471554720

Worksleep, I am the same. Work fulltime, kids in minder fulltime. I would take an odd day off from time to time to e.g. get a haircut, dentist, buy work clothes. I never felt guilty because we had no other help. I was with the kids all evenings and weekends. We never went for nights out, weddings etc without the kids. I felt that this was the only bit of time I got, when I was not working or minding them.

I wouldn't broadcast it though. A lot of colleagues work 3 days, have grandparents to take kids for days out, evening babysitting etc. They forget their privilege and were very contemptuous the few times I told them. They got plenty of breaks each week from family, nights out. They didn't care that I never had nights out and were jealous of my day to go for coffee, have a haircut.

I know that feeling. I try not to compare to others that have family help because I can't help but feel envious. Also I don't tell many people when I am taking a day off for "myself" (usually to get something done at home) but honestly why I hide it I don't know. Mum guilt is the worst!

No.

I'm a teacher so I am off for Easter soon but I will still be sending my 3yo for his three days as he loves it there. My 1yo goes one day per week and she will go too so that i can either get stuff done or laze around by myself for a day.

I’m a sahm. My kids have both done 2 mornings a week nursery from age around 2. Increasing to 5 mornings a week the year before school. My 3 year old currently goes 3 mornings a week

She loves it, we can afford it, and basically every other waking second is spent with me (or DH but he works full time), so I see her loads and feel zero guilt at those pockets of time to myself

@Caterina99 That is quite different though to working full time Monday to Thursday and putting DC in nursery on Fridays.
I don’t think anyone should feel guilty about their choices but when my children were small I couldn’t have enjoyed Friday ‘me time’ whilst they were in nursery. I wanted to spend all the time
I could with them and at that young age they were happy to do a trip to the shops with Mummy