Do you feel guilty putting your children in childcare on days that you're not working?

[Lsquiggles]

I currently work two days per week and my DD is looked after by her grandparents on those days which is a huge help. My DD loves her days with them but she needs some interaction with other children (only child in the family and no spaces in groups local to me) so I want to put her into nursery for one day during the week. I think she'll love it as she's very social and wants to play with any child she sees when we're out

There are no extra hours going at my work so the day she will be at nursery I'll be at home not working. I don't know why but I feel really guilty about this, is this common? In one way it will be good for me mentally to have one day to myself to get on top of house stuff that I end up stressing about all week, but equally feel like people will judge and think I'm sat here watching TV all day instead of looking after my child.

God no. Don't feel guilty. On the odd occasion I've had to take leave and i try and do it a day my daughter is at nursery.

This gives me some down time and allows me to catch up on jobs around the house. If I chose not to send my daughter on that day I'd have to pay anyway so don't see it as a waste of money.

I spend the other 4 of my non working days with her so don't feel guilty.

My DD is 21 months for those asking

Absolutely not! DS does 2 full days and I don't work

@MattyGroves

In your situation, I would do the nursery day instead of one of the grandparent days and ask if the grandparents would instead do the occasional weekend or overnight. But that's because I long for a weekend or even night away without my kids..

The one time my DD stayed the night she didn't sleep at all and scarred them all for life of having her over again

Of the two days she spends at my parents the one day is mainly with my dad who loves his one on one time with her and then the second day is mainly with my mom as my dad works from midday so I wouldn't want to take a day off either of them if you see what I mean? This is their quality time

@JerryMoreIceCream

Do it, I worked part time so Ds was in nursery 3 days then I became a SAHM before he was 2 and kept him in the nursery for 1 day. Firstly for interaction with other children his age, secondly to get him used to being disciplined by anyone other than me and Dh and thirdly because you can get a lot done when you don't have a toddler undoing everything.

I didn't have any help from friends or family (moved to a new area) so this was my break. He is now 18 and a complete wreck of a man because of that, just joking, he is great, well rounded and fine. My sister worked full time her children were in nursery 5 days a week, they are also completely great.

Your child is benefiting from you, Grandparents and nursery. It is a win. I don't see why people want you to martyr yourself for your child. Somehow if you are not working paying professionals to interact with your child is seen as cruel. Nope.

This is very reassuring thank you!

They are only little once and school soon comes around when they will be there 5 days a week. I personally wouldn't do it and would change out a day with the grandparents

I don't see why people want you to martyr yourself for your child.

This. I should've put DS in sooner. I was bored of being a SAHM 24/7 after 2 years

I'd say enjoy it! Your LO will love nursery and you can have some time to get yourself organised. After Covid, I will never feel guilty about nursery again!!

I wouldn't feel guilty about it, no. I'd love a day off each week. Dh and I have taken days off to relax with both dc at nursery/school. It wouldn't work for us on a regular basis just because I only have one day with littest one anyway, so I would rather spend it with him. But the bigger challenge may be that it's hard, as others have said, to settle into nursery only one day a week. 2-3 days is better. I would possibly think about 2 days at nursery and one day with grandparents?

No guilt here. I'm a sahm and we still use some child care. Gives you time to e.g. get a haircut and gives them a chance to socialize and do interesting kiddie activities designed by professionals.

Not one little bit. DC3 really needs constant stimulation that he doesn’t get at home if he’s trawling behind me doing housework, the shopping etc. He’s home by 4 every evening, he’s home all weekend and we’re both so much happier for it. It was a different story with DC2 though, he stayed home until a year before starting school because he didn’t thrive on outside stimulation, it overwhelmed him 9 times out of 10.

I think it’s very different and a very individual choice for every child. There is no right or wrong way of doing it and looking for answers from people that don’t know your child is like asking someone to predict the future. That’s why everyone else’s opinions don’t matter.

I think it's a good idea. Actually thinking of doing it myself. However I doubt most nurseries will take just for one day, they usually ask for a minimum of two sessions.

Nope. He loves it. I love a day to myself.

I’d do it. It might take her a while to settle in at only 1 day a week though.

I put dd2 into nursery and I was a SAHM.
Because she was an only child and also used to cry when we walked by the nursery. She went 2 days a week until she was 3 when went every morning.
She loved going and I didn't feel guilty.

I'm so confused as to why anyone would feel guilty about this. Having a child doesn't automatically mean you want to spend every single waking minute of your free time with them. I definitely don't, and that doesn't mean I don't love my son! You can be a way better parent if you really enjoy your time with them which is a lot more likely if you get some time off!

We put our son in nursery on days we're not working. He goes twice a week and between 2-4 days are days when we're not at work. We use it to catch up on jobs at home that we can do when he's there.

I've not worked since having my first child and with all 4 they have had 2 days in nursery from age 2. I love being a mum but I needed that time to get things done and have time to myself.

Nope.

Why don't you send her to nursery one day instead of sending her to her grandparents? I wouldn't send a child to child care when I wasn't at work.

I would do it. Slightly different as we have no outside help but my daughter attends full time nursery as I work full time but I take the occasional days holiday and she attends usually I get stuff done at home but also relax! Parenting is a full time job and you shouldn't feel guilty!

No I don’t. In any case, we had to take the 5 mornings offered or none at all but on the two days I don’t work I feel fine about DS going to nursery. He’s 3.5 and he’s come on so much. It’s like his own little world and he loves it.

No guilt here! I am taking next week off and planning on sending DD into nursery for at least 2 of the 3 days. I need time to do all the things on my to-do list and have some time to myself.

Nope, no guilt here. Normally work full time, had a few days off last week and decluttered the house while dd was at nursery - don't get a chance to do it properly while she at home, house feels better, I feel better. And I've kept her off the couple of days this week that I have as annual leave. To be fair, she asks to go to nursery at the weekends, so fair to say she enjoys it.