question re play-dates

[alittlebitshy]

how much do you totally leave them to their own devices, how much are you "around" and how much do you intervene in squabbles(esp when it's your own dc doing the vocal bit!)?

my dd is 4, in Reception so I guess I'm looking for answers that tied in with that age range - ish!!

She has a friend round now, and I can hear her being bossy, and I supervised at tea, but can see myself jumping in too much if it'm in there while they play....

haychee I dont believe you are a real person

I dont beleieve you are either.

What have i said wrong this time?

that's a good idea enid!!!

Message withdrawn

The thread has possibly died now, but just to add - it does get easier. The OP took me back to playdates when my DD was 4/5/6/7 and it was exactly as described. Now she is 10 - and she and her friends disappear into her room, only to exit for food and drink! Socialising is a difficult skill and takes time I guess, but they do get better. Now only have to contend with my DS (6) and his friends exercising their testosterone!

Sorry, I havent read other messsages but wanted to add I never bothered with playdates in reception for all the reasons you mentioned. I have a busy house and all are welcome but found my boys did not cope so well that young. Your daughter is new to school and is prob still getting used to spending the whole day there and although they are keen to have friends round as they see others doing it the reality I think can be too much for some children. Maybe a trip to the park after school with parents would be a better idea.

my DD is in reception and has also turned into a bossy monster since she started school. Even with children she used to play really well with before September. I am hoping it is just the tiredness of starting school and making new friends and not a permanent thing.

My daughter is five and she is just getting the hang of playing nicely with her friends when they visit. Don't give up or stop her from having play dates at your home, what she needs is MORE play dates rather than less. Invite a child who you both know well, preferably a child who is not hypersensitive (!) and preferably someone whose parents you know and trust to be mature if things are a bit 'tense' - the last thing you want is parents falling out over their children's squabbles. During a play date I overheard the invited child gently say to my daughter ' I love you but you can be a teeny weeny bit selfish' I braced myself for the tears and screams but instead my daughter took it on board and her behaviour with friends is improving all the time. Yeppee!