Would you call doctor?

[brokengate]

Baby is 13 weeks old.

Combined fed. Now on comfort milk and gaviscon before every BF.

This was due to silent reflux, colic type pain from about 1 week.

She no longer seems in pain. Nappies fine, not thrashing about, not holding knees up, is occasionally sick but more sicky burp than sick sick. Sleeps 10pm to 4am. Naps in pram.

BUT she cries all the god damn day. I'm actually beginning to feel unwell with it. If she is awake, she is crying.

I've read about purple crying, which should peak 12 weeks, we are getting worse by the day.

Nothing works. Holding, rocking, swing, pram, bouncer, white noise, lying down, lying on front, nothing. So every awake window is hysterical yelling until the next nap.

I also have a two year old. I'm crying myself writing this. She is so bloody miserable.

I don't know what else to do. There's no enjoyment left. It's just screaming.

I wondered if I should speak to doctor again and look back at feeding. We were about to move to ranitidine but stopped as she is feeding well now and sleeping ok.

Thank you for any help.

Just to throw this in as a suggestion - try a chiropractor (with experience in babies)
Occasionally it can be that something is not quite sitting right due to birth trauma and it's a simple fix.
Hugs and though, I remember the feeling of absolute desperation and hopelessness.

Yes I saw baby chiropractor weekly with dd1. I took dd2 incase same issue, she was all clear and I do trust him. But I suppose that was three months ago so might be worth another check.

Some days I think it's sleep. I'm failing badly as a mum of two. I get baby to sleep and toddler wakes her. So naps can be broken, not nice solid sleep. She very rarely wakes naturally and when she does things are a little better.

I can't put her somewhere else till six months though. So not much I can do. We try quiet time etc but just can't sustain it three naps a day. I did say to dh if someone could take toddler I wonder how my day would be as a trial. But that's not possible for months.

@brokengate

Can I ask though, if it was cmpa would it not be all the time? I feel like a fraud because I do get six hours sleep from her at night and she does sleep well if I'm walking the pram.

Yes it can be - my DS slept well at night but would fight all naps and be miserable in the day - dairy and soy allergy. It sounds like with the comfort milk, gaviscon etc you're treating the symptom not the cause.

In my experience GPs will say anything to rule out CMPA. I had one who thought it wasn't because the blood in my son's poo wasn't bright red

In my experience GPs will say anything to rule out CMPA. I had one who thought it wasn't because the blood in my son's poo wasn't bright red

I completely agree with this. My experience was exactly the same. Even when I went in armed with research that not all cmpa babies presented with the same symptoms there was still a great reluctance to accept that was the cause.

In my experience GPs will say anything to rule out CMPA.

Echoing this point. I have a family member who went through hell to get a diagnosis of CMPA. I've no idea why the GP / doctors were so determined it couldn't be CMPA. But their refusal to admit they had perhaps ruled it out too quickly caused a lot of stress for the child's parents, and has a lingering impact on how they remember their child's early life.

www.cry-sis.org.uk/

Have a look here op, may be something that helps, I have heard good things about them.

Another one saying CMPA. Took ages to get DS diagnosed, and he was utterly miserable with it. Your baby doesn’t hate you- you are doing a great job. Hang in there

Yes I would. I have been there. There is more support now and I would reach out

And agree CMPA.

My answer to your question was 'yes' after reading your First line. 13 weeks is still really little and most doctors would rather you called for support than wait till things fall apart completely (whether for you or the baby)

@brokengate can you get a sitter for the toddler at all? Is it availability or finance holding you back? The little one sounds very very tired to me, and so do you and you have my absolutely utmost sympathy and admiration.

You are NOT failing. You are an amazing mum to a difficult baby. I think you need to get someone to take your older one for a few days for a few hours and it needs to be you and the baby baby and you can then focus on what is not right much better.

Maybe a bouncer, if not a sling, I know you must have tried everything but what about ceiling light projector, music, pram indoors, sitting up (I hate suggesting this as it's a bad idea in general but at this point anything should be tried).

Doctor not called back yet but system is you call then they phone at some point.

She's asleep so I've got her on patio, which is probably against safe sleep but she's asleep and it's quiet outside.

I've tried to get help. The nearest nursery is full. I've managed to get a slot at a village playgroup but it's two hours a week and by the time I drive there and back its time to go back again. I put an advert on local sites but no real responses. One mum replied suggesting her 12 year old and I did consider it for a couple of hours a week, ie, play with toddler while I get on with housework but when I added in travel and getting her here it's pointless. Obviously couldn't leave her alone so not sure there's much gain overall.

I do have a couple of friends so am considering asking them if they could taker her one day Easter break and I can return favour another day, just makes me feel more useless though.

When ds1 was at his worst with reflux he used to sleep at night, as he was so exhausted from the day’s crying. I used to have to wake him up to feed him as he was severely ftt, but if it had been up to him he would have slept 6 hours no prob.

Was cmpa.

DS had silent reflux and was only happy swinging wildly in a baby swing or sitting up in his car seat. Thankfully this was when travel systems were pretty new and no one worried about leaving babies in car seats for extended periods. He would sit in it and watch cbeebies with his sibling. He refused breastfeeding as it was uncomfortable for him and was happiest in his car seat with a bottle of formula. I know it’s not perfect but a baby snoozing in a car seat with the tv on is better than a screaming over tired baby and you need to do whatever will let him be comfortable for now.

God no you’re not being unreasonable. That must be utterly soul destroying.

Who cares if you’re bothering the bloody receptionist, you need to get this resolved for all your sakes.

@brokengate i am sending you every ounce of strength I have. DD has CMPA that manifests mostly as a sore tummy. She screamed only in the evening for the first four months or so, but the doctors wouldn't consider CMPA as she gained weight well. We somehow scraped by using Colief that seemed to relieve the constipation by causing liquid yellow poops - the discomfort was still there but it took the edge off. We only had her diagnosed when she had blood in her nappy at around 8 months. I regret so much not pushing back every day until they listened to me.

I'm not saying it's CMPA but I am saying that any doctor that hears your story and says something along the lines of colic and just deal with it and it will get better is not worth listening to and you need a second opinion. At the least they need to hear how miserable you are and how miserable your family is.

I really hope you get some resolutions OP and some joy back. There is nothing worse for both you and your baby to hear them in so much distress x

Quick update, nobody called back yesterday, last night was worse.

Called today and my doctor off this week. Spoke to a female doctor who once she let me cry, said CMPA bring her in. I'm going down for 1030, it's about an hour drive. Will update later. Thank you all for push I needed.

Sorry to hear you had a rough night it's beyond rubbish that no one called you back. Fingers crossed today is helpful, I really hope they take it seriously.

So she's given nutramigen to try and failing that ranitidine equivalent for normal formula.

She thinks CMPA, I have no idea anymore.

I combine feed so cried a lot as have no idea what I'm doing anymore, given I live on a dairy farm and survive on milk.

The thought of trying to wean without dairy terrifies me.

No suggestion of help with that either.

Feeling worse to be honest.

I know it seems overwhelming, but if you need any help with the weaning without dairy, there are lots of us on here who have done it and would be happy to help. Once you get into the swing of it, it's really do-able (although appreciate I wasn't doing it on a dairy farm, which does seem a cruel irony)

You can try CMPA formula Aptamil Pepti while the GP sorts you out, just buy it on internet. You have nothing to lose x

I’m sorry you feel worse. It must be totally overwhelming.

There will be plenty of people who have weaned without dairy. I’m sure they’d give you some ideas.

Thank you. I have the formula just couldn't get the medicine began with an o? But I was to try CMPA route first.

Early days but certainly this evening is much calmer. She is refusing BF though but will keep trying. I haven't had dairy since this morning and if I have to stop, I can live with that.

I might just be vague to dh if I see him......it might tip him over the edge at this point in the season.

Don’t panic. Ds1’s CMPA was so bad he ended up in hospital. We had to wean him at 4 months and hadto keep him (and me) cow free, and if Iever slipped up and had even a bit of cheese he would be really unwell.

Then at 10 months someone handed him a hugepiece of milk chocolate and it was in his mouth before I hada chance to react. I braced myself for the storm and...nothing. I started to introduce dairy into my diet, and nothing. Long story short by the time he was a year old he was happily drinking milk like any other toddler, and has never had an issue again (now 14 has dairy every day).

Yes don't worry about weaning, lots of babies grow out of CMPA