When did you start saying there was no alternative to tea if it was left?

[Pebbledashery]

Going through a difficult patch with little one. She's 2.5 years old. Made one of her favourite tea's tonight and she just messed about with it and didn't eat it :( such a waste of food. Feel terrible at the thought of her going to bed on an empty stomach so given her some other bits and pieces, she's currently eating pancakes!
When did you start saying to your little ones there was no alternative to tea that's been served? 2.5 years still feels a bit young but don't want this to be an ongoing habit of where she knows ill give in. I'm a single parent so have to be good cop and bad cop :(

At that age, our policy was to not make a fuss but offer toast and fruit as an alternative. No treats though. I think we've been lucky though as our kids are good eaters and any faffing over eating was short lived. I would never send a child to bed hungry.

My DD is usually an excellent eater.. Her appetite and sleep are affected at the moment because of some disruption to her life at the moment. Just given her some fruit and pancake and now she wants crisps and baby bell!

Our rule with our DD (nearly 2) is we don’t offer any ‘dinner’ alternative, eg if she doesn’t eat her dinner she doesn’t get snacks, bread or anything. But she always is offered fruit and yogurt for pudding. My thinking is this will stop her being hungry but it’s seen separate as dinner if that makes sense.

I would second what others are saying. Don't offer anymore dinner or anything fun like pancakes. Offer a pudding if you normally do, make it yoghurt and fruit or custard, rice pudding etc. That should be enough plus a glass of milk at bedtime.

I will start doing that if this carries on. No alternative to dinner.. Just pudding or equivalent. Think I struggle because its just me and her but don't want her to think it's OK to not eat her dinner because she'll get an alternative x

Watching this with interest as I have the same problem with DD also 2.5. Never been a good eater though. At nursery when they tell her she needs to eat it or no pudding she always eats it. When I say it... nothing. So we've had a few nights with no tea and it doesn't seem to change. I've lost my mojo with cooking her nice things at the moment because it all gets wasted.

We were doing yogurt and fruit whatever but that's her favourite so there was no threat really, so now we've gone to no tea = no dessert. No success yet.... I struggle to enforce it because I hate the thought of her hungry so if she eats a bit I class as she's eaten her tea. It's downright refusal that means nothing else.

We don't offer anything else but we do supper which is pretty standard every night. Toast/bagel/potato cake and a banana. DCs are 2 and 3. Quantities at supper vary depending how much they ate at tea time and they can always ask for more (of the same).

I don’t make them go to bed hungry, so if they don’t eat dinner then I would normally offer weetabix/porridge or toast before bed and they always have milk if they want it.

Nothing to directly replace dinner though and no treat food (or what they consider treat food lol)

We usually do “dessert” of plain yoghurt and/or fruit and I don’t withhold that if they don’t eat, (although I do use it as motivation sometimes)

Thankfully my fussy eater has massively improved in the past year (he’s 5 now) and my toddler has always been a better eater

I would give her a bowl of porridge.

Agree offer simple buttered toast or porridge

We offer fresh fruit and veg only as an alternative, but filling fruit like a banana and she can have as much as she likes. 19 months.

We tell her she can have toast but that’s the only alternative.

I offer ‘desert’ regardless. It’s only Greek yogurt and fruit so I see that as part of dinner .If dinner is a disaster, then I would just give a bigger helping of yogurt and a more filling fruit ie banana.

I would hate to go to sleep hungry myself, so would never leave a child hungry before bed.

Try not to make her feel bad for not eating something, even if she normally likes it. She may not be hungry, or be teething etc. As others have said just offer yoghurt, fruit, toast but don’t make a big deal out of it or let her know you would rather she had eaten more.

Weetabix is a good bet.. So is banana and yoghurt too.
I would never make her feel bad.. I felt bad for her as she loves food.. Hopefully this doesn't last long. But I think the fruit and yoghurt is definitely the best bet. She has puddings with nursery every day so she will know its part of her meal.

If it's food you know she likes I would reoffer that at bed time. But agree if you're not sure then yes offer something losing but filling.

This is very common.
Don't stress. Just take the food away, give her whatever pudding you would have done anyway. Don't make an alternative meal.
Don't make food a battle. If she's hungry later, I would offer something really simple like toast/rice cake, etc.
It's part boundaries testing and part developing new taste palettes.

I had lots of trouble when my son was this age. After trying lots of things, I put dinner on the table and he had to sit with us while we ate but I didn't pressure him to eat. After we'd finished, I'd clear away, making no comment on how much he's eaten. Then we'd have yoghurt and fruit. I'd he was hungry at bedtime, he had a glass of milk and a banana.
I tried to just give it no attention at all. He quickly got bored and started eating again. Now he's a constantly starving 11 year old who eats everything we put in front of him and is never full! It's really hard but you need to get good habits set up early. Good luck

I agree with PP, the most important thing is to not make it a battle. Its taken us a while with 2yo dd but now we just get on with it, don't pressure at all to eat more but praise when she does, then offer fruit/yoghurt regardless. Some days she eats more than others but we're so much more relaxed and mealtimes are pleasant again, and I'm sure she'll start eating more in time.

I think that's very good advice to not make it a battle.. I was frustrated on the inside because I cooked a meal from scratch and extra portion for tomorrow.. But to be honest I'm just glad she ate something else rather than nothing at all. I'll try again tomorrow and try the fruit and yoghurt :) she still drinks 9 oz of milk before bed too.

If she’s normally very good with eating food I wouldn’t worry about it or make it a big deal. Give her pudding and a banana and start again tomorrow. Kids go through different phases of eating

Absolutely don't make it a battle.

Many children's tastes change between 2 and 3. Some children will develpp wuite strong aversion.

No to shame or going to bed hungry.

I would never ever let her go to bed hungry.. That would utterly break my heart. Where its just us two and nobody else, we're like best friends.. If you've read some of my other threads, we've been through a lot together so I think I'm a bit soft because of that.. Hence the pancakes tonight.. But I think the pudding idea is definitely the best idea from this thread. She normally has yoghurt or some fruit as pudding but I just gave her pancakes with banana for an easy life tonight as I was exhausted.

We never have.

My husband is a vegetarian and often eats different meals so it's never been possible to say there's no choice.

If dad can eat something else why can't they?

So we have choices.

We have chouces