I am at my absolute wits end with my step children and I am now at the point where I don't know if I can continue my relationship with my OH.
I met my OH 4 years ago. We have been living together for 3. We dealt with the introduction to his 3 children very slowly. His ex-wife has been very difficult throughout and continues to be. She cheated on OH and left him 2 years before we met but as soon as OH and I got together, she wanted him back and we have dealt with all kinds of drama over that. I know that she is very rude about me and my OH to the children.
So, OH and his 3 children moved into MY house that I bought and paid for entirely. I have 1 child from my previous marriage too.
At great expense I have adapted my home to accommodate his 3 children, who now each have their own beautiful rooms. When they came they had virtually nothing of their own as OH had all sorts of debts, which I helped him to clear. I have bought them furniture, bikes, clothing, you name it.
Despite everything that I do for them - feed them, house them, clothe them, they are so rude and disrespectful towards me. They swear at me, they shout me, they completely ignore me when I ask them to do or not do something, and I have simply had enough of it.
My OH doesn't stick up for me as he says I am being too sensitive and they don't mean it, that they have had a really hard time etc, etc and that their Mum is horrid about me so they are bound to be difficult. It essentially ends up that I have to apologise to them for whatever upset them in the first place and led to their outbursts!
I might add that I try very hard not to tell them off or to tell them to do anything, but there are times when I have to, e.g. if my OH is not around etc. They treat my house like a hotel and me like a servant. When OH is around they make some effort but as soon as his back is turned the snide comments start. They even criticise my home which is ironic as they lived in a tiny flat before.
I keep trying to talk to my OH about it but he says he doesn't want to talk about it, that I am the adult and I should just stop being so sensitive about it. They are just kids and they have had a difficult childhood with lots of uncertainty with their mother (who has a constant stream of new men and who is very unkind towards me). I am always putting myself out for them and it is just thrown back in my face. They only speak to me when they want something. I spend most of my weekend walking on egg-shells biting my tongue practically in half!!
If my child is rude to my OH, I am on it straight away and I won't tolerate it at all. He says that it is different because I have my child all the time and he only gets to see his at weekends and he doesn't want to be seen to be taking my side over theirs...
Am I being unreasonable here? Is my OH right that I should just continue to suck it up and ignore it as I am the adult?
Sorry for the long rambling post. It was somewhat cathartic to get it all off my chest! Thank you in advance!