Dropped my 4m old

[marauder1994]

Yesterday, I went to pick up my 4 month old (5months on Thursday) from his play mat.

At that moment hey duggee came on the TV and he arched his back so hard to try watch it I lost my grip and dropped him. He landed on the carpet and has the tiniest mark on his eyebrow. He cried for a little bit stopped when I cuddled him - think I was more distraught than him.

I rang 111 who basically told me I was a terrible parent for dropping him and I needed to get him assessed at urgent care immediately. I went, the doctor said it was a 'very minor' head injury. Checked him out said he's behaving normally, moving his arms and legs etc and looked absolutely fine. He sent us home and wasn't worried.

Now though, my anxiety is through the roof. He said he had to tell the paediatric liaison team about the injury due to his age. And now I cannot stop panicking I'm going to have social services etc turn up at my door wanting to take my little boy away for me making a mistake. I'm terrified they're going to ring tomorrow.

Little lad is fine today. Giggling away and having a good time but I am so anxious, has anyone else had an experience like this?

Your doctor has no choice but to report an injury however minor.
Try not to worry. SS see lots of families and will not judge a small accident.
My own dd fell from a changing table and got a bruise on her forehead. It never occurred to me to get her checked out.
My ds rolled off the bed a few times.
It's more common than you realise.

Honestly do not worry
When dd1 was 6 month she drank Calpol because I left the lid off. I was told at A&E it had to be reported... I didn't hear anything.

Happens to loads of people. Do not worry.

They have to report it. Chances are no one will contact you - if they do just explain what happened. It will be fine.

You've done exactly the right thing. Accidents happen and you had the checked so you've nothing to hide. Don't be too hard on yourself. Even if SS did turn up they'd see all is well and be on their way.

The liaison team make sure all reports are sent to the health visiting team so that they can offer support if needed. They will also review to see if the attendance raised concerns - most won't be reported to children's services because accidents happen. If it is reported then children's services also understand that accidents happen. It would be most likely to be a call if anything.

It's likely that the most you'll get is a phonecall.

My 2yo DS burnt 2 fingers and his thumb on our stove at the start of lockdown. Despite good first aid we needed to go to hospital repeatedly over 4 weeks for dressing changes etc.

He'd been trying to touch the stove since he started being able to move and had put a chair against the fireguard to reach over it while I was cooking lunch (in an open plan kitchen living room).

I had a phonecall from our HV (who had a report from the hospital) to ask what had happened, explained and didn't hear anything more.

It's nothing to worry about unless there are underlying issues with the care you provide for your dc in which case you'd be better off focusing on fixing that ( for clarity I'm not suggesting that there are any issues).

I would perhaps build in a little more "wait and see" time with minor injuries as your dc gets older.

Thank you everyone! Realistically I know they inform paediatric liaison about every attendance under 5 years old, but the anxiety part of me is saying that it's just me - and I'll wake up to SS.

I did think about waiting it out but I was terrified it would look even worse if my HV found out he Bumped his head and I didn't take him to be checked out.

Next time I will probably wait and see a little longer. Also, there's no issue with the way I look after my DS.

He'd been trying to touch the stove since he started being able to move and had put a chair against the fireguard to reach over it while I was cooking lunch (in an open plan kitchen living room).

Mine was the same. I got a very large, burley fire fighter I know to just say, "don't touch the stove" to her sternly, while in uniform. She didn't again.

Oh and OP I used to be a SW. One fall with a caring mother who took the child to hospital? Do you know what the caseload full of people actually hurting their children is?

SS don't have the time.

My DS fell off the bed when he was 6 months old. We took him to a&e as he hit his head. They had to report us as all hospital admissions are reported. Our health visitor called to check he was ok the following day. Never heard anything again. It was a supportive phone call if anything

Don't be so hard on yourself, accidents happen.

Ours have had so many accidents over the years, we've been to hospital a couple of times due to these accidents but never had contact with social services.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Oh and OP I used to be a SW. One fall with a caring mother who took the child to hospital? Do you know what the caseload full of people actually hurting their children is?

SS don't have the time.

Thank you. I know it sounds silly, but he is my absolute everything and I just really panicked that I'd be deemed not a good enough parent for a silly accident.

It doesn't help that I'm an LSA for LAC in a college and the amount of parents who talk about 'corrupted SW' just played on my brain, even though it's completely irrational, untrue and I know exactly the laws and systems social workers have to abide by, and I am a good mother. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply.

I'm a first time mum, so think I really panicked when he hit his head.

Thanks everyone.

Well we hear that 'awful SW' story a lot as well. I can assure you that most SWs are not evil baby-snatchers. We don't want to have to do the paperwork

I once dropped my 6 month old daughter out of her car seat and onto the tarmac outside Asda. She was a horrific sleeper and as I was sleep deprived I’d completely forgotten I’d unclipped her temporarily from her car seat, she just slid right out when I lifted car seat.
I cried and cried and cried, and she’s not even my firstborn. You do feel awful when accidents happen OP, but that’s why they are called accidents. I’m sure you will never ever allow that to happen again.

Take care, all will be absolutely fine.

You did the right thing to get him checked. Just be honest and it’ll be ok in the end whatever happens.

@Dopeyduck

You did the right thing to get him checked. Just be honest and it’ll be ok in the end whatever happens.

I have been honest with everyone I have spoken too x

Thank you everyone x

My DH dropped our 7 week old DD on to a laminate floor, he was only holding her with one arm and being over confident (2nd child) Took her to A&E she was absolutely fine. I was still attending a post-natal group and I raised it with the HV before she did with me, nothing more sais

Aw, it’s horrid when that happens isn’t it.

When Dd was about 3-4 months I did similar and was verging on hysterical when I took her to A&E! She was absolutely fine and I never heard anything from the referral.

I’m a social worker and know that an isolated accident with no harm done is not going to warrant a visit etc. But as a parent I still felt totally panicked at the time.

Try not to worry. They have to take these things seriously as their are unfortunately people out there whose children are receiving injuries that are not accidental.

My DS grabbed a cup of boiling tea and poured it all over his legs when he was 7 months old. We were told to take him to A&E and after waiting there for hours we discharged ourselves about midnight without having been seen and went home. Took him to the GP the next day who checked him over. About 3 months later the HV phoned to follow it up and seemed perfectly happy with that.

Accidents do happen with little ones. You feel awful about it at the time, but they are learning experiences for everyone, and it's great that we live somewhere that has access to healthcare and social care where it is needed.

Oh god, that back arching thing. My 4 month old is doing this. I’ve nearly dropped him at least three times today with him hurling himself backwards! I remember DS1 head butting a few door frames randomly throwing himself backwards as I carried him through the house too. It happens. It sounds like your baby is fine. The report had to happen but almost certainly won’t go anywhere. Don’t stress it.

Years ago when my eldest dd was about nine months old she fell out of a very low level chair with a tray attached. It was my fault because I knew the little nut that held the tray was loose. She was crying so still in an overall I was wearing I grabbed her and tore around to the local doctor. I was so upset. The doctor was with the nurse at the time and he said “Do you know how many mums we see just like you? And the mums are usually in a worse state than the children.” I took her to the local hospital and had her checked and she was okay but I have never forgotten it and that was fifty odd years ago. In those days there wasn’t the follow up there is today unless the doctors thought there was anything to be worried about. As the children got older they had so many accidents (not caused by me) I used to wonder if they were ever going to survive until adulthood. But they did of course and when my daughter phoned me one day crying “Mum come quickly it’s Sam. He’s hurt himself. Don’t stop for anything.” It took me ten minutes to get there by car only to be greeted by a distraught mum and a smiling, happy toddler. Think of all the parents who have taken children to doctors and hospital. So they follow things up these days but how common it must be.

OP.
You said if it happened again you would wait and see and not go straight away...

Never wait and ‘see’ if you have dropped your child.

Glad he’s ok! Easier said than done but don’t worry.

So between my dc we’ve had a few a&e or urgent care trips, my dh even dropped a phone on one’s head when they were about a month old. I called 111 because I accidentally caught dd head with my elbow. I could go on! No mention of any reporting but I understand these things go on file!

Accidents do happen and there are people trained to make a proper assessment. If there is a safeguarding issue there will be an assessment with procedures. These professionals also know how common accidents are when children are small.

Hope you are both ok

Please don't worry. At 5 months old my DD rolled off the bed and hit her head on the radiator..went to A&E and they said she was completely fine. Didn't notify SS. It's just a routine procedure if they do it.. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent. You'd be hard pushed to find a parent whose child hadn't sustained any kind of accidental injury!