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Original poster

I forgot to give my toddler his dinner.

52 replies

Giraffle · 12/02/2021 14:41

I feel like an awful mum. I’m currently working full time as is my partner so my 19 month old son goes to his Nans (my MIL) when we work.

Wednesday night my son was up the whole night because his teeth hurt, and then I had been working since 6:30am when I finished work at 3:45 yesterday and I headed straight to the supermarket to get some shopping for us and my MIL (Nan) to drop off to her when I picked up my son. I got to her house around 5:30. Generally speaking he eats at 5 pm. When I got there she mentioned he hadn’t eaten yet as he had a big lunch and wasn’t hungry so I said no problem I’ll give him some food when we got home. On the drive home, he had fallen asleep so I waited in the car until he woke up around 6:15pm (it’s also extremely bitter cold here and windy so didn’t want to bring him from sleeping straight into that!). I brought the shopping in, put it all away, and we sat played and read books till he went to bed at 7:15. Me and my partner eat after my son goes to bed on a weekday, it still didn’t click that he hadn’t had tea.

He slept all night (rare at the moment) and woke up in a good mood this morning. I was making his breakfast and it suddenly hit me that he hadn’t eaten any dinner last night. My stomach dropped, I felt devastated and I haven’t stopped crying all day I feel so awful. I just feel like how could I forget something so important. It’s never happened before and will never happen again I just hate myself for it and I can’t get past it. My partner has been trying to calm me down because we know my MIL gives him a lot of food when he’s over. I just can’t bare the thought of him going hungry.

Has this happened to anyone else before? Sad

OP posts:
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Badfootkk · 12/02/2021 14:43

Oh don't beat yourself. Easily done!If he was hungry he would have let you know ! He would have woken up.

modgepodge · 12/02/2021 14:44

I’m sure if he was hungry he’d have made that clear and/or women in the night crying for food. Sounds like his lunch kept him full. Missing one meal won’t have done him any harm. Don’t panic!

FusionChefGeoff · 12/02/2021 14:44

Please don't worry - he would have let you know if he was hungry!!!!!!

Honestly, no need to worry about it happening or not to other people - the main thing is he suffered absolutely NO harm, probably didn't even realise and is 100% ok today.

Please don't be so hard on yourself.

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BikeRunSki · 12/02/2021 14:46

I’m sure he would ha Engler you know if he was hungry. As it was he slept through the night! No hs done.

BikeRunSki · 12/02/2021 14:46

*no hs = no harm

Julianamechange · 12/02/2021 14:47

I have forgotten to feed dinner before, son woke up at 9.30pm and I soon knew about it. I felt awful but your child would have woken up if they were hungry.

Please don’t beat yourself up about it.

gingercatsarebest · 12/02/2021 14:48

He clearly wasn't hungry! Don't stress about it

devildeepbluesea · 12/02/2021 14:49

Crying all day, really?! He would have let you know if he was hungry.

I did it a few times with DD, I always figured kids will soon complain if they need food.

Frenchfancy · 12/02/2021 14:50

What stands out in your post are that you waited in the car while he was asleep, you played and read books to him before bed and he woke up in a good mood. You are a good mum doing a great job!

Lostinspace23 · 12/02/2021 14:51

He wasn’t going hungry - he simply missed one meal - probably at the end of a day when he’d eaten lots. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are made up times to eat. Kids are much more led by their actual needs when they’re young. You didn’t forgot, he simply didn’t indicate a need to eat for you to respond to.

I’d be more concerned about the impact of ott emotional reactions to be completely frank. I can’t see any reason to be devastated.

abikeindividual · 12/02/2021 14:52

Aw my heart goes out to you. I hate the idea of my DS ever being hungry, I don't know why it plays on my mind so much. But your son slept all night so he wasn't hungry and he wouldn't have even noticed. Don't beat yourself up, you're a busy mum and these things happen.

luckiestgirl · 12/02/2021 14:54

Is crying over things like this usual for you? Seems a very excessive reaction.

DadJoke · 12/02/2021 14:55

He woke up a happy camper and I'm sure he would have let you if he were hungry. We've all done stupid things with our kids at some stage - people have dropped them, forgotten them or let them get sunburned. It happens. You sound like a kind and caring mum with a lot on your plate.

Scubalubs87 · 12/02/2021 14:55

If he was hungry, he would have let you know! Don't beat yourself up.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 12/02/2021 14:55

Youre a tired, overworked stressed out parent. Shit happens, he would have let you know if he wasn't happy.

I've forgot all sorts for mine over the years, occasional meals, sometimes their names, where they need to be, school letters that need to be filled in.... loads of stuff.

Its really, really OK Flowers

hellolittlebaby · 12/02/2021 14:58

Your son would have let you know if he was hungry.

He wouldn't have fallen asleep, when waking from the car he would have been fussy, or hangry. He would have woken up at 9pm inconsolable.

Easily done.

You didn't starve him.

He's fine.

Don't beat yourself up!

Babdoc · 12/02/2021 14:58

As the PP said - it’s more concerning that you are so upset and guilt ridden about it all than it is about your DC missing one meal when they obviously weren’t even hungry!
Maybe food is too closely associated with affection or “ good mothering” in your mind, OP?
Relax, and let it go. Toddlers are perfectly capable of telling you when they’re hungry, trust me on this! DS would have woken and yelled for his belated dinner if he needed it.

Madwomanuptheroad29 · 12/02/2021 14:59

Stop worrying. If he had been hungry he would have let you know and/ or wakened during the night. If he had a big and maybe late lunch he was simply not hungry.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 12/02/2021 14:59

Oh for goodness sake.

He had been stuffed at his Nan's, was perfectly happy all evening and slept well.

He'd have let you know if he was hungry.
He slept well because he didn't go to bed with an. over full tummy

You've done him a favour, stop crying about it. Seriously.

AdoraBell · 12/02/2021 15:00

Please cut yourself some slack. He probably wasn’t hungry last night, and he woke up happy this morning.

There will be days when he won’t eat a dinner. As long as he usually has a good diet he’ll be fine.

VeganCow · 12/02/2021 15:01

Am sure we have all done this and worse!

strawbmilk · 12/02/2021 15:02

He was fine! He slept through the night. He would have let you know if he was hungry. The most shocking thing to me is his late nap and still went to bed an hour later and slept through the night. If my 12m old naps after 3pm that screws up his bedtime!

leafinthewind · 12/02/2021 15:04

I forgot to feed one of mine. Twice. She didn't complain at all. Just ate almost double at her next meal. If it's any consolation, I still feel guilty. And like a fool, I told the kids. And now they remind me whenever they want snacks but I don't want to give them! So you should definitely not make that mistake!

itallworkedouthorribly · 12/02/2021 15:07

You sound like a really lovely mum, especially to wait in the car. You're responsive and not rigidly following a routine. I have no doubt you would have fed him if he was let you know he was hungry.

Tal45 · 12/02/2021 15:08

He had a big lunch and so wasn't hungry. I've done that plenty, nothing to worry about x