How to tell my little boy about where meat comes from?

[Sharkbaitooh]

My little boy will be 4 in may, and both my partner and I are vegetarian. We have decided to raise our little boy eating meat and dairy and want any decision he makes around eating meat to be his own when he’s old enough to decide. That being said I don’t want to hide where meat comes from and think it’s important that he understands the cycle of life etc. He’s recently started to understand the concept that different animals eat each other and he wasn’t very impressed and said it wasn’t very kind. (We were playing an orchard kids game where you catch fish and if you pick up a shark the shark eats all of the fish you collected and you lose your fish. I tried to explain that some animals eat other animals, and sharks do infact eat fish, his response again was “no mummy that’s not kind, sharks are kind they don’t eat fish”. Soo .. I guess I wouldn’t mind some opinions on the best way to approach it! When we eat our meals at the moment for example if he’s having mince meat we have quorn and don’t mention that it’s different but I know we should probably start to be more open about it. It’s hard because you’d think being vegetarian (since I was 11 now 34) I’d want him to be the same but I really don’t want to put him off meat just because of our preference as adults.

sorry OP I really think this is crazy talk!
We are vegetarians. Our kids were raised to eat the same food as us. We'd no more feed them meat than most English people would feed their children locusts etc - it's just not what we do. They are all adult now and none eat meat, have never shown any interest in eating meat.

Likewise they all broadly share our moral/ethical standpoints- be kind, care for the environment, don't waste stuff, be an active citizen etc etc. I didn't 'let them decide on these things when they are old enough' because you can't live your life in some state of moral neutrality- and your children learn from what you DO more than from what you say.
V funny about the South African apples at least that's one thing we are free to eat now.

Thank you everyone for your feedback and thoughts. Based on a lot of people’s opinions that my parenting on this subject is bizarre (whilst a little hurtful as I have never intentionally gone forward doing something on purpose to lie to my child - as I’ve said it’s just not a conversation we have had) it made me re-evaluate a few things and I’ve spent the last half an hour talking with my partner about some of the things that have been said here. Quite honesty I do feel morally wrong bringing meat into our home but I was just trying to do what I thought was the right thing. We have decided that from now on we won’t be eating meat at home however we want to explain to him he still can outside for example at nursery or grandparents.

I’ve just had a 10 minute chat with my three year old and decided to outright ask him if he knew where meat etc comes from. He knew milk and eggs but he wasn’t sure about the other bits. He was much more aware of what wildlife ate which I didn’t think he would be at all, which goes to show I probably underestimated his level of understanding about it all. I decided to just tell him there and then where each meat product came from and then went on to explain that we (his mum and dad) don’t eat those things. He didn’t seem bothered or affected by it in any way really and then just went off to play. Of course I said all of this in an age appropriate way, and I am sure there will be other questions as he processes things and becomes more aware of different things.

Thanks for peoples input, I won’t be replying anymore to this board but I will definitely take note of all the great suggestions and start implementing them more on a day to day basis to further his understanding of things.

By the way, I am not trying to raise my son morally neutral, in all other ways he follows our morals and we are bringing him up to be a good person in society (I hope). So I can see why people thought I was being a bit of a hypocrite in hindsight, I guess I was just scared to talk about it with him and built it up in my head.

OP I want to say well done but without sounding patronising !
you asked a question, listened to people's responses, discussed with your partner and re evaluated your position.
If only everyone was this thoughtful.
I'm sure you're a great mum, from the start you were obviously coming from a good place.
Good luck to the 3 of you

I don't understand the question. Meat comes from animals, what else would you tell him? If he decides to be vegetarian because of this, fine. All you can do is answer honestly. also being honest about why you choose not to eat it? My son (same age) asks about it, he's not too keen on the idea but he does eat meat, after our first conversation, he came through and asked me if we eat humans too! :-D At 12 I stopped eating meat for 14 years, kids will make up their own minds once they understand fully.

I personally hate the expression meat comes from animals. They don't give it up willingly.
We take meat from animals...
Is it purposely phrased to lesson the deed?

I just always gave my children the bald truth. "What's this Mummy?" "It's pork, pig". On discussions about 'where food comes from': "The farmer looks after the animals really well, then when they are big enough, they kill them and chop them up so we can eat them."

@Mif4

We're vegan my son eats meat and dairy at 10, my dds are 2 and 4 and are vegan too. When my 4 year old started looking at the dead animals in the meat isle and would touch them and ask what they were I would tell her 'that's a chicken/pig/baby sheep'etc... And her immediate reaction was that she felt sad, and so far hasn't wanted to eat anything with animals in because she knows she doesn't need them. When we pass by the animal flesh in the shops she shows empathy for the poor dead chickens or poor baby sheeps. She will occasionally ask if something is vegan and if she can have it like a cake or sweet and is very accepting if it's not vegan she just doesn't seem interested. However, I'm not so precious about it I'd stop her eating animal products if she wanted to try it. For example a friend at school or something of her brothers etc. I fully accept she may likely want to try things she hasnt before, however there's a vegan version for most things now so I don't they she feels left out at all.

Probably best just to be honest.
I think alot of kids go through a phase where they dont want to eat animals.

We don't eat 'baby sheep'.

@derxa wtf do you think lamb is?

I personally hate the expression meat comes from animals. They don't give it up willingly.

Since when has anyone associated ‘comes from’ with ‘give up willingly’? They’ve never been synonymous

@CodenameVillanelle there’s no need to be rude. UK lamb is generally 6-9 months. Yes they’re young - but I agree ‘baby’ is inaccurate.

[quote Pinkblueberry]@CodenameVillanelle there’s no need to be rude. UK lamb is generally 6-9 months. Yes they’re young - but I agree ‘baby’ is inaccurate.[/quote]
They aren't mature. They are babies. It's not rude to point that out.

wtf do you think lamb is?

@CodenameVillanelle
That is a rude response.

@Pinkblueberry

wtf do you think lamb is?

@CodenameVillanelle
That is a rude response.

I disagree If you are defensive about the fact that you eat baby animals that's your issue

[quote Pinkblueberry]@CodenameVillanelle there’s no need to be rude. UK lamb is generally 6-9 months. Yes they’re young - but I agree ‘baby’ is inaccurate.[/quote]
They're called lambs till they're one year old.

They aren't mature. They are babies. It's not rude to point that out. They are sexually active at one year old.

Mine were brought up in an all vegetarian house and when they started asking about what meat was we told them. Simple answers to suit there ages.

All now (teens) eat meat which is there choice. They know what they are eating and I’m proud that my children can express their own beliefs.

@CodenameVillanelle

If you say so.
My sister is vegan, I know better than to argue with one all the best!

OP, some good friends of mine are vegetarian and have never cooked meat for their children - who are now teenagers. However, when they are eating out of the house the children can pick what they liked from the menu. So they have always had plenty of chance to eat burgers, sausages, ham sandwiches etc. From a young age the children knew where meat came from - they actually live next to a field of cattle so it was an easy conversation.
The children accepted that their parents didn’t have meat at home, but neither child is vegetarian outside the home.

I definitely think it’s easier (and nicer!) for you if you stick to vegetarian food at home.

All this angst about food...when did this become a thing? Why the lies and deception surrounding it?? No wonder there are so many young people now with issues!

Just wait till he brings it up in conversation like any other topic

Mine are pescatarian and at 4 DD was horrifying other kids at parties by yelling 'you're eating peppa pig' every time they ate a sausage roll. 😂
As a veggie who tries not to be peachy I was mortified.

Actually, sharks are neither nice nor mean. They are wild animals, and just trying to survive. Also, they are important for balancing the ocean's ecosystem. Also, your statement about them only caring about eating and making babies applies to almost all wild animals.