What age gap do you have and why?

[Ihatewinter321]

I have an 18 month gap between my girls. It is hard but I want to get the newborn stage out of the way as I find it so hard. We want three children and I am deciding when to try for a third. What age gap do you have and why?

8 years... because it took that long to recover from number 1. Great as they never fight

I have 3. A 20 month age gap between the first two. Was very hard for the first year but has been great since then. They are super close and play really beautifully most of the time. Then 3.9 before the next one. Would have made it a bit closer but life intervened. The older two adore her and we would have had lots of lovely time alone together if it weren’t for COVID. She’s only just turned one and is very much the baby. They love her but I worry she may be a little bit in the outside of their games growing up.

Will be 9.5 years! Had many losses between but this one has stuck and now 17 weeks.

Will be 15 months between 1 and 2.

Just want to get the sleepless nights done in one for and get back on nice exotic holidays when the double nursery fees are over

2yrs 7 months. I wanted 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 and it all happened way faster than we expected. It's been so much harder work than I imagined! Maybe covid/lockdown has not helped with that though.

I don't think a bit smaller or bigger age gap would have made much of a difference. Now I have my 2 with the gap I thought was ideal I think a 5yr gap is better. 1 at school and more time with baby one to one. Mind I my youngest is 14 months so maybe I'll appreciate the gap we have in another year. It's just hard work right now lol.

If I was having another I would wait until my youngest was 5. This is the reason why I will not be having another, as I don't want to be having another baby so close to 40.

@Verrucapepper ahh congratulations!!!!

@DorotheaHomeAlone that is what I worry about if I leave a big gap for the third. But i guess as they get older the age gap won't feel as big

4 years between mine as we couldn’t afford two lots of childcare at once.

2.5 years. Would have had them closer together but figured I should get my feet back under the table at work (which I think was the right decision).

@shelby30 this isn't meant to be confrontational at all, but would you not just prefer to get the hard years out of the way? I am just interested

Three years. I wanted to have time to enjoy the baby stage a second time, so needed the oldest to be a bit more independent without too large a gap.

3 years and 1 month between mine, just because life works that way. We had to have fertility treatment for both of them and second time round it took about 7 or 8 months to get the ball rolling on treatment and for it to actually work.

We’ve got a 2.5 year gap which is ideal for us. I’d like another though DH is yet to be convinced and would prob go for 2-2.5 years again so there’s not more than 5 years between oldest and youngest. They were born when I was 31 and 33 so don’t want to be much older than 35 for the last.

5 years. I wanted to be able to give the second baby everything I had with the first. I didn't want to just endure their infancy. I really wanted to enjoy it.

20 months between DD1 and DS, then 7 years to DD2. I love both the gaps for various reasons although it wasn't planned as had been trying for DD2 for many years and given up .

DD1 and DS have had many happy years playing together (and fighting on occasion :) ). DD2 is the the baby and the big kids entertain her, play with her and love her so much. It is all awesome.

I'm about to have a 14 year age gap when my 2nd little girl arrives in a couple months. Combination of career, life circumstances and meeting the right partner. I couldn't be happier to be getting the opportunity to do it all over again.

No way would I have wanted a small gap. I honestly don't know how ppl do it, wld have killed me! I wanted my youngest out of nappies, sleeping well, no dummy and able to talk and communicate well and we achieved all before her sister was born. Oh and to help a little lol get me a nappy etc she's a great wee helper.

I also had an emcs with wound infections that were sore for nearly a year. I was told it wld be another cs for future births which turned out to be emcs. I wanted to give my body time to recover too.

I wanted a 3 year gap, and managed to get pregnant at the right time but miscarried. Now DS is nearly 6 and looks like being an only. So you can’t necessarily plan these things - try not to overthink it.

4 years almost to the day. I wanted to enjoy the baby/toddler years with my first and also get back to work and progress my career-2 nursery bills at ones would have been excessive. Mostly I had seen friends with small gaps and knew I wouldn’t cope, I had a difficult birth and PND and the thought of potentially doing that again with another very young child terrified me! It’s worked well for us Iv worked part time and had a couple of promotions which put us in a better place for another child and mentally and physically I was ready. My first was well settled in nursery/pre school when number 2 came along so I got one on one time with baby while they were at preschool. My older one also understood what was happening with baby coming and adores his sister he is independent with lots of things and understands to a point that sometimes the baby needs sorted while he plays. Equally there will be times when they have different interests due to the gap whereas there will be less chance of that if they are closer in age. My sis had 3 under 4 and thinks I was nuts having a bigger gap then she had quite a difficult pregnancy and delivery with her third (after very straight forward ones with her older 2) and says things would be different if she had had that pregnancy/delivery with her first or second. I also think it massively depends on what support you have around. I have no family local and my husbands family are abroad conversely my sister has both sets of retired grandparents 5 minutes away and doesn’t have to ever factor baby sitters/nursery/an extra pair of hands in to the equation as they are readily available and willing.

Four years between the first two I was ready sooner, DH wasn't. As it was it took almost a year for my periods to return after depo.
Six years between two and three. DH changed his mind about wanting a third.
15 months between 3 and 4, a welcome accident!

No way would I have wanted a small gap. I honestly don't know how ppl do it, wld have killed me!

Same! I don't know how people do it... 😬

13 years - we had a late arrival. The oldest two at 19 and 21 don't get on but they both dote on the smallest

Yeah, I always wonder how people survive having children close together tbh, but then again I had a difficult birth and a child who never slept until he was 4 so I was pretty much broken. Even the stories from people glad their oldest was 2.5/3 and ‘more independent’ makes me realise mine was a bit behind the curve!

4 year gap, as couldn't afford to have 2 kids in nursery at the same time plus wanted to secure my next promotion. No regrets, as they get on so well.

I remember a work colleague telling me about a friend of hers who was pregnant again by the time of her 6 week post birth check up - twice She ended up with 3 under the age of 2 The worst bit was that the lady concerned was actually a midwife!