breast feeding

[kay06072021]

long post

Hi everyone! I’m going to be a first time mum to my little boy, due in July. One of the first things I ever brought was a bottle making kit with bottles and a steriliser because I was sure I didn’t want to breast feed.

I didn’t want to because my baby will go
to the nursery I work in. They will start at around 8 months old, which by this time I know they will be starting to eat food and stuff like that, but I have noticed that the babies who are breast fed are much more clingy to their parents (especially mum) and are very hard to settle. I don’t want him to be upset and unsettled like that.

another reason I didn’t want to is because I don’t want to be responsible for every feed, if i’m tired it would be nice if my partner could feed the baby in the night without me having to pump or something.

I’m also starting uni in october, so I will have a 3 month old and uni, and then also a 30 hour working week when they start nursery, so I don’t want to overload my self.

the last reason is due to the fact that every post i’ve ever seen about breast feeding in the mum group i’m a part of on facebook is extremely negative, talking about how draining and emotionally exhausting it is, how it’s hard to know if they’re even eating anything and that it’s so demanding, all the time.

but recently, as i progress through my pregnancy i can’t stop thinking about if i want to breast feed or bottle feed.

can I have peoples true and honest opinions about how they found bottle/breast feeding, and i’d love to hear from someone who has done both? thank you x

I’m breastfeeding my 6.5 month old daughter (literally right now!) and honestly for me it’s been so easy. I would say we got the hang of it after the first week, she’s always gained weight really well and I’ve absolutely loved the bonding side.

I never really planned to breastfeed but thought I’d give it a go as it’s cheaper than formula and swap to bottles if/when I’d had enough, now I’m planning to do it until she’s at least 1 possibly beyond.

I’d say give it a go and see how you feel, maybe read up on normal behaviour in the early weeks so you know how to spot if it’s going well as some of it is a bit counterintuitive and if you don’t like it you can always swap to bottles.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

The sweeping statement about BF babies being hard to settle in nursery is BS, you should be ashamed of yourself for spreading misinformation, perpetuating a negative view of BF, and potentially putting other mums off trying to BF.

Feed your kid however you fancy but don't spread lies.

I’ve bf two children past a year old now. Both started nursery around the same age - 9/10 months old.

My eldest screamed at drop off and continued to do so up to three years old.

My youngest hasn’t ever cried at all at drop off, even on her first day. Has always been super settled.

So don’t necessarily base your decision on nursery!

I would say to give bf a go if you're open to it and see how you go. I wanted to bf and we did it for 6 weeks but combined supply and latch issues, I steadily increased my formula top ups and ended up switching to formula at 6 weeks. I think both have pros and cons, I'd have liked to have breastfed and genuinely found the idea of formula a bit daunting because I couldnt work out how of know when she would be hungry or when to get bottles ready etc. This was before I switched, once I did I found it so straight forward I didnt know what the fuss was I'd made in my head. Going out is harder and especially during covid as I'm limited to where I can prepare her bottles with my flasks of steriliser water but dont think that would be as much to an issue in non lockdown times.

My little girl was hungry when I was feeding due to supply so we had lots of tears, hers and mine. It was also super stressful as a result as I desperately just wanted her to gain weight and for me to be able to do it. I was also touched out a lot as she was constantly cluster feeding to try and up supply. So in my case it didnt go as envisaged but I think if you have no issues it can be a wonderful experience.

I didn’t want to because my baby will go
to the nursery I work in. They will start at around 8 months old, which by this time I know they will be starting to eat food and stuff like that, but I have noticed that the babies who are breast fed are much more clingy to their parents (especially mum) and are very hard to settle. I don’t want him to be upset and unsettled like that.

Actually you DO want them to be clingy at 8 months. Separation anxiety at that age shows that your baby has formed a secure attachment with you, which is vital for their emotional development.

Also to say - in the beginning I tried to feed both my babies formula, and both rejected bottles. My first never took a bottle and my second initially did in the first month but then rejected bottles and screamed if we tried. So sometimes the baby decides for you.

It was never a worry to me that I didn’t know how much they were drinking. If they are growing and have wet nappies you can see they are thriving.

It sounds like you've already made up your mind not to breast feed. If you breast feed you've got to want to do it, as it can be hard those first few weeks and it requires a degree of perseverance. It would be a shame not to try. As for clingy babies... this is nonsense sorry. My ds was EBF until he was 12months. Started nursery at 14months and hasn't cried once when I drop him off.

We got all the bottles & equipment to bottle feed, started off combo feeding (bf with formula top ups from day 1 - if I’m honest, the bf part was more because I felt obliged to give it a go really, while in the hospital). We got through a tongue tie, low initial supply, horribly painful nipples etc with support from the community midwife team & local NCT but I’m also pretty lazy and figured out pretty early on that popping the baby on the boob at 3am seemed a lot easier than making up a bottle. I thought I’d last 6 weeks, we’re still going strong 6 months later having dropped the formula top ups from about 8 weeks although we did occasionally use ready made formula back in the summer when we could go places or if dad wanted to do a feed (a LOT less often that I expected!!) as she was used to it and happily took a bottle. Expressing just depressed me as I’d get about 20ml out on a good session.

I ff my first, and currently breastfeeding my second.. I would suggest you see how you get on with it all. ff let us have a good routine straight away more or less and feeds could be shared between myself and partner. I found breastfeeding gruelling to start with, but due to being in lockdown there wasn't much else to do so just carried on. I don't mind it now, I can't say I have ever LOVED it, if my baby is fed then I'm happy.
Both of mine are healthy and happy, and I have a strong bond with them both.

@tbtf

The sweeping statement about BF babies being hard to settle in nursery is BS, you should be ashamed of yourself for spreading misinformation, perpetuating a negative view of BF, and potentially putting other mums off trying to BF.

Feed your kid however you fancy but don't spread lies.

This. My son is breastfed still (he’s 13 months) and will go to anyone and is the easiest most chilled out baby with others and always has been. He settled so easily at nursery when he was 10 months old and with his childcare bubble. He makes up for not being breastfed during the day in the evening with me but all that means is he has his 3 feeds per day in the evening.

First baby bottle fed, second baby breastfed until 13 months when he weaned himself off..I didn't find my second baby demanding or more clingy, both children had periods of time in age when they needed extra cuddles or were more fussy regardless of the way they fed.
Bottle feeding was ok, found my routine how to make and clean bottles, breastfeeding was tricky to establish at start and I was going to give up many times in those first weeks but always delayed stopping until it just got easy and so convenient, no bottles, no cleaning everywhere we went I always had the milk with me ready to drink. Around 9-10 months he started slowly drop the feeds and he stopped breastfeeding completely around 13m.
If I was to have another baby I would breastfeed again if possible.

I've combi fed. I have enjoyed breastfeeding although the first few weeks were tough. I think it is quicker and easier than a bottle once you get used to it. To me it feels quite natural and I like to know DD is getting antibodies and it is probably good for my own health (seems to reduce risk of getting certain cancers etc). But I enjoyed having a bit more freedom from her having a bit of formula, a bottle or so a day. We didn't have any problems with nipple confusion, bottle preference etc.

I bf my dd1 and currently bf dd2, I love it. I think bf is easier once you get the hang of it, but often requires support. You have to remember that forums about breastfeeding are usually for support and advice for women who are struggling. The people who are breastfeeding with no problems probably won't be posting as much, so the forums can make it look worse than it is.

For me:

Pros - no sterilising bottles, remembering to get formula, running out of formula, having food on tap every second of every day, being able to calm my DC instantly no matter what had happened, oxytocin release helped me bond feel a deep overpowering love quite quickly, no illness’s, lots of cuddles, have to take less with you when you go out, they don’t need larger amounts of milk as they get older (to about 1) because the nutritional value of the breast milk changes to adapt bringing more calorific with formula you have to get more volume in them because they need the extra calories. Oh and it’s free

Cons - had to pump if I wanted any time away from DC, expressed milk the fat is mixed so doesn’t fill them in the same way and they can over feed unless slow flow teat and paced feeding is practiced, feeling of being touched out, cluster feeding for hours on end, currently pregnant and I really dislike the feeling of someone tweaking my nipple which is essentially what it feels like when you breastfeed, they ‘usually’ feel little and often as opposed to formula where you feed larger amounts less frequently.

There are good times and shit times. You’ve bought the preps home that isn’t a life sentence just give it a go if you want, what you lose in prep cost if it’s successful with still be a minuscule fraction of the cost of formula for 1 year +.

I'm nearly 8 months into breastfeeding with my first. I will admit I am very biased towards breastfeeding and it makes me soo sad for all those babies who's mum's don't even give it a try. Yes it is f hard at times but why would you not want to do the absolute best for your baby? It's how nature intended, you baby bonds with you and has that physical connection with you from the start ( I'm not saying FF don't , it's just different) . As well as the scientific fact that breast milk is sooo much more beneficial to your baby ( and to you) than formula. So often when this is debated it's about how hard or easy it is for the mother , it's not talked about enough for the baby's health . It truly is so important for your baby as well as being free and on tap! It is only for 1 year of your life ( that babies need milk for first year as part of diet) it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. Fyi it was really tough for me at the beginning due to tongue tie but the pain got better around 6 weeks. My current issue is I struggle to express enough for going back to work but hopefully it will balance out with his solid food in take. Good luck whatever you decide but decide carefully!