Page 2 | breast feeding

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KatyClaire · 02/02/2021 22:10

I also agree that now it’s established it seems to be easier than formula. I’ve never formula fed but every time I get up for a night feed I have a moment of gratitude that I don’t have to go and make up a bottle etc. I can just pick my son up and feed him instantly. Ans when he goes from 0 to starving in an instant and starts screaming for food I can meet that need instantly.

There’s also the fact that breast milk is a comfort, a painkiller, responds when your child is ill and produces antibodies which help them, etc - there are so many advantages which go beyond simply feeding.

firstimemamma · 02/02/2021 22:10

I loved breastfeeding and did it for over 16 months. Was hard for the first few months so did require determination to begin with - tiring, painful, relentless, but after that it was smooth sailing and pretty much the best thing I ever did in my life. Ds was a really happy and chilled out little baby. Very convenient, saved a fortune and I just really loved it.

jellybe · 02/02/2021 22:12

I breast feed my first until four months and then they moved on to bottles as I was heading back to work and my DH was staying home with them.

With my second and third I breast fed until they were about one - returning to work when they were 8 months.

Personally, the breast feeding didn't make them anymore clingy then my bottle fed first had been. They soon settled after I'd gone either with their dad or with the childminder.

I think it is a very personal choice and it comes down to what you want to do. Your baby is going to want you wether you are breast or bottle feeding.

Minnie6078 · 02/02/2021 22:15

Give it a go, if your not feeling it switch to bottles :-) I tried with both mine and each time switched to bottle and it worked well for us I had 2 good sleepers from 6 weeks too. (Not sayinf BF baby can't be good sleeper btw)

bluebluezoo · 02/02/2021 22:15

I didn’t particularly enjoy it, but it had lots of things going for it so I breastfed both of mine for over a year.

Both went to nursery around 7m, one loved it, one was a bit more clingy. Personality I think, rather than being bf.

The pro’s, for me, far outweighed the cons and it was mainly logistics. Not having to remember to sterilise bottles, or to take them out with me. Knowing I’d have enough milk even if I stayed out longer than planned. Made overnight stays and visits much more manageable. Not being caught anywhere I couldn’t make up a bottle or warm it. Knowing I’d never run out and be dashing to the pharmacy at midnight.

Not having to make up bottles at night. For both of mine night feeds were me feeding them, and then we’d both get back to sleep. Night feeding releases hormones that help you and the baby sleep. If I got up in the night to go downstairs for bottles I’d never have got back to sleep.

As for help feeding, actually feeding gave me a break. I could sit around and get everyone else to bring me tea and snacks. When i expressed and someone else fed, it was me bloody running around making dinner, tidying up, putting washing on, while they sat on their arses watching tv. I soon stopped that!!
it made no difference as I was awake anyway when they woke, so it made more sense for me to feed.

It’s free. No formula, no bottles, no cost.

Meredithgrey1 · 02/02/2021 22:25

A lot of the posts you’ll find will be negative because those will be the people who need the help/support/suggestions/tips etc.
I think it’s really hard to say how you’ll find it but for me, honestly, it was a piece of cake. Slight issue where she wouldn’t latch the first night in hospital but that was for a few hours, I hand expressed and she had that, and from then it was fine. And she’s never had any issue going to other people, she started nursery with no problems, took a bottle of expressed milk when necessary without any issues beyond a slight adjusting period, and she is now 18 months and has weaned herself to just feeding first thing in the morning, I’ve not done anything to deliberately stop her feeding as much. I also really enjoyed breastfeeding - I’m more ambivalent now, I’m not wanting her to stop but when she does that will be fine.
I do feel very lucky when I read the struggles other people had, especially when they were very keen to breastfeed and couldn’t.

Crikeycroc · 02/02/2021 22:31

It sounds to me like you want to try and BF. If I was you I would do a bit of research on breastfeeding and give it a go. You can always combi feed later if you need baby to take a bottle and don’t want to pump.

I find that BFing is very convenient in the night because you can pop baby straight on so they don’t wake themselves up too much crying while you prepare a bottle. It’s also great when you’re out and about because there’s no faffing around asking for boiled water. It’s really good when baby is getting a bit grizzly and over it when you’re catching up with a friend or having a coffee in a cafe because it calms them right down and buys you some more time.

wellhellohi · 02/02/2021 22:38

I breast fed one abs bottle fed one so think I have a good comparison.

My breast fed child is super independent. I introduced pumped milk early in as was going to uni and that worked well. She self weaned at six months and never had any problems with clingyness

My son on the other hand was bottle fed and super clingy. I couldn't leave him. He would only take a bottle from me. I had to extend my mat leave as he couldn't be without me. Now as it turned out he is autistic.

I think it comes down to personality of both you and the child and how relaxed you are about it all. I loved breast feeding and was gutted when I couldn't breast feed my son. In hindsight I'm glad. He is still clingy and would never have weaned.

mynameiscalypso · 02/02/2021 22:39

This is actually a really nice thread to read - lots of balanced points of view.

I generally agree with everyone else that you can't really know how you're going to feel. I assumed I'd BF because that's what most people I know do/did. I hated every bloody moment of it and switched to FF within a week. For all sorts of reasons, it was absolutely the right choice for us and for DS but other people would have made a different choice and that's totally okay.

lalalalands · 02/02/2021 22:40

I didn't think at first that I'd breastfeed but thought I'd just do the first few weeks for the significant health benefits at that time. In the end I BF for almost two years. I loved it so much. Firstly it's extremely practical, you always in every situation have the perfect food for your DC ready, no need to think to take things with you when you go somewhere etc. Secondly I felt it was such a special bond. You could tell DD loved it and it felt so right and I feel made me overall more responsive as a parent.

rooarsome · 02/02/2021 22:43

Dd- I started to breastfeed but the huge emotional and physical toll it took on me was profound. My mental health deteriorated, cluster feedings lasted from about 7pm until the following morning and I was exhausted. She had tongue tie and the waiting list was approx 9 weeks. We didn't have the money for private. I couldn't do it and we moved to formula. Dd and I were both immediately happier and I started to actually enjoy my time with her.

Ds1- I didn't put myself under any pressure to bf. We did 3 days and when I got home we moved to formula. Very happy with that decision.

Ds2- I am combi feeding. He had a 75% tongue tie and again we waited for an NHS appointment, due to be seen at 9 weeks. They cancelled and we were lucky that families contributed to get it done privately. I'm unsure how beneficial it's actually been but I'm happy with the choice to combi feed. Bf is still a slog and there's very little face to face support right now. I'm not putting a date on our bf journey and will be happy to move to formula if we need.

Maryann1975 · 02/02/2021 22:51

Why don’t you try breastfeeding and see how you get on? You might find it really straightforward and enjoy it, you can always introduce a bottle later on, it doesn’t have to be all breastfeeding if you don’t want it to be. But if you start out bottle feeding, it’s really tricky if you change your mind a few days later to swap to the breast.

As a childminder, I’ve had a real mix of babies starting with me And I don’t think it’s true that breastfed babies are always harder to settle (to me that’s like saying that bottle fed babies don’t have such a strong bond with their mother? I think lots of mothers would be upset to think you thought that.) I’ve had bottlefed and breast fed babies some of whom are easy and Some more tricky to settle. It really depends on the baby.

On my sample of 3 (of my own) babies, You might get a baby who feeds every 3 hours and sleeps Through 12 hours a night from 6 weeks old, a baby who still wakes and feeds every 2 hours Day and night at 1 year old or one who by 6 months was waking once in the night For a feed and is happy to be fed whenever during the day.

Until you know which type you get, I’d go with the flow and see how you get on. I was never really emotionally exhausted from breastfeeding, physically exhausted, yes, but the worst baby at sleeping in my postnatal group was bottle fed so it doesn’t always follow. You know if they are taking enough as they have wet and dirty nappies. As long as these are happening and your baby is content and growing, they are getting enough.
It never bothered Dh that he couldn’t feed the baby. He was imaginative and realised there is a lot of other stuff that needs doing for a baby and took responsibility for some of that instead. Nappies need doing often and every evening he did bath time to give me a break. I was really sad for a friend who stopped breastfeeding (that was working well for her and baby) so that her Dh could be more involved with baby care. It turned out he didn’t actually want to feed the baby that much and she ended up having to faff about with bottles in the night as her Dh needed to sleep.

As I say, my best advice is to give it a go and see how you get on. Every breastfeed your baby has is a benefit to them, especially the first few colostrum feeds and if you get on well, keep going and if you don’t like it, you can switch to other methods.

SenoraSurf · 02/02/2021 22:59

I bf my ds for 18 months and it was the absolute best and most wonderful experience of my life.

Yes it was absolutely all consuming and I craved my body back and had nights where I would detest his warm little body cuddled into mine nursing peacefully away cries whilst typing because I miss it so much. --

Now it brings tears of joy to my eyes as it really was the absolute best and I miss it wholeheartedly. It was the right time for us to stop but I couldn't ever imagine not sharing those precious memories with him.

Buttercupcup · 02/02/2021 23:07

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, combi-feeding is a great option but not one that gets talked about much. I have got a 6 month old daughter who is fed a bit of both and it works great for us she has 2 bottles per day and the rest breast fed and she has had this since day 1. I use formula for her bottle feeds as I don’t get along well with expressing. I attempted to breast feed my first for 6 weeks but he had facial nerve damage from a forceps delivery so was a nightmare to feed either way! I did find it incredibly stressful with my first had multiple professional involved and still couldn’t get it to work and stopped at 6 weeks as it was massively impacting my mental health. My 2nd has been totally different she has had a perfect latch from the minute she was born, milk came in no problem and she goes between bottle boob and dummy great. Find what works for you but it certainly doesn’t have to be all one or the other.

tinytoucan · 02/02/2021 23:16

I bottle fed my first from birth. He was a very settled baby and settled at nursery very well.

My 2nd is currently 9 months old, and has been exclusively breast fed. I didn’t decide how I wanted to feed before she was born so I had formula in just in case, but decided I wanted to try while we were in hospital and never looked back. The first few weeks were definitely more exhausting in that I never had a break from feeding, but actually as others have said once breastfeeding is established it really is easier than sterilising and preparing bottles. DD is just as calm and settled as her brother, and happy to go to her dad so doesn’t just want me all the time. She hasn’t started nursery yet so I can’t comment on that, and she has had a very strange first nine months as we’ve barely seen anyone but to me I can’t see a huge difference in temperament between the two. I’m sure some people do notice a difference but I think you just need to do what feels right for you and your family.

GrumpyHoonMain · 02/02/2021 23:22

@kay06072021

long post

Hi everyone! I’m going to be a first time mum to my little boy, due in July. One of the first things I ever brought was a bottle making kit with bottles and a steriliser because I was sure I didn’t want to breast feed.

I didn’t want to because my baby will go
to the nursery I work in. They will start at around 8 months old, which by this time I know they will be starting to eat food and stuff like that, but I have noticed that the babies who are breast fed are much more clingy to their parents (especially mum) and are very hard to settle. I don’t want him to be upset and unsettled like that.

another reason I didn’t want to is because I don’t want to be responsible for every feed, if i’m tired it would be nice if my partner could feed the baby in the night without me having to pump or something.

I’m also starting uni in october, so I will have a 3 month old and uni, and then also a 30 hour working week when they start nursery, so I don’t want to overload my self.

the last reason is due to the fact that every post i’ve ever seen about breast feeding in the mum group i’m a part of on facebook is extremely negative, talking about how draining and emotionally exhausting it is, how it’s hard to know if they’re even eating anything and that it’s so demanding, all the time.

but recently, as i progress through my pregnancy i can’t stop thinking about if i want to breast feed or bottle feed.

can I have peoples true and honest opinions about how they found bottle/breast feeding, and i’d love to hear from someone who has done both? thank you x

I found breastfeeding easy after the 3 months mark and it was much much easier for me to just whip out my boob when we went out, then to carry around cooled boiled water and make up formula. I think it’s easy to forget washing and sterilizing bottles properly especially when you’re sleep deprived & eventually that comes to bite you - DN both ended up in hospital at various points with d&v because DB and sil often forgot to wash. But they were premies so more susceptable.

purplejungle · 02/02/2021 23:25

I expressed until baby was 6 days old (because he was in NICU) and hace exclusively breastfed since then. He is now 9 months. So I don't know any different and can't comment on bottle feeding.

For us it had been really easy. I think I am in the minority with this but we haven't had any latch, supply, pain etc issues.

For me it has been the 'lazy' option - no need to sterilise, heat bottles etc.

It is something I really enjoy. If it had been difficult though it wouldn't have been worth sacrificing my mental health for.

In your position I think I would give it a go in case you also find it the easiest option. Even getting breast milk for a few days can be beneficial for baby if you decide not to continue.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2021 23:58

One thing to keep in mind, op... For as wonderful as the internet can be, it can also cause a lot of problems. How many mothers create a thread saying how great breastfeeding is and how easy it was for them? Most of the breastfeeding threads you stumble across are from those having problems, and although that can happen, these threads can fill your head will a lot of negative preconceived notions about breastfeeding. You need to clear your mind and try it for yourself.

Disneymum1993 · 03/02/2021 00:30

I breastfed all 3 of mine until age of 2 ,tandem feeding my dds who had a gap of 18 months,I was sad when they naturally weaned and although I had a tough journey second and Thursday time around and could have threw the towel in I kept going and it's such a rewarding experience.

Only downside was when I went back to work my dds wouldn't take a bottle of expressed milk so had to work feeding time into my breaks as I done sleep over shifts xx

DramaAlpaca · 03/02/2021 01:33

I loved breastfeeding, once I got through the first few weeks with DS1. After that it was just so easy, but those first few weeks weren't easy. I might have given up if I hadn't been so determined and stubborn.

Breastfeeding DS2 was easy from the word go. I stopped with both of them at eight or nine months, I didn't want to go on much longer than that.

DS3, on the other hand, it was a struggle from day one. I had to start supplementing at six weeks and mixed fed until he was four months, when I finally admitted defeat and stopped breastfeeding. I still, many years later, have no idea why it didn't work. It upset me a lot, and led to me developing postnatal depression.

Anyway, on switching to bottles DS thrived, I got my depression treated and life got much easier. Bottle feeding was fine, I'm glad it was available. But did I enjoy it like I did breastfeeding? Honestly, no.

Micah · 03/02/2021 07:52

Re combi feeding, why it isn’t “talked about more” is because while it is a great option, often it simply doesn’t work. Every person irl I know that has tried mixed feeding, including me, has fairly quickly moved to bottle feeding after giving mixed feeding a go.

Many babies quickly realise bottles are less work, and start refusing the breast. It is also very hard to keep your supply up when also giving formula, and during growth spurts when you have a constantly bf baby it’s just easier to give a bottle. Night feeds are also key to supply, so replacing those with formula quickly affects bf.

When it works it’s obviously fantastic, and it can work. But I think when you make the decision to mix feed, you need to be mentally prepared for it to mean the end of breastfeeding.

whiteswanlake · 03/02/2021 07:57

I am very pro breastfeeding, but I will just add here that you can buy bottles of formula milk that are already made up. My baby is fed a mixture of expressed and formula milk and we never make up a bottle. Just buy the ready made ones.

WishIWasAsGoodAsBlueysMum · 03/02/2021 08:05

I’m lazy. For me breastfeeding was a no brainer. No washing and sterilising bottles, no worrying about packing bottles in the changing bag and making sure we had hot water etc available, no need to carry endless snacks around, no getting up in the night to make bottles etc. Yes it was initially hard work but the long term payoff was worth it.

DS (2) has always been super independent and he breastfed for 18 months. I went back to work at 8 months and we had no issues. His sleep was shit for the first 8 months, I’ll admit but I think that’s partially luck of the draw and partially to do with how you manage sleep. Breastfeeding is just one factor. DD (3 months) has slept through since 6 weeks and is also breastfed.

bluebluezoo · 03/02/2021 08:07

One thing to keep in mind, op... For as wonderful as the internet can be, it can also cause a lot of problems. How many mothers create a thread saying how great breastfeeding is and how easy it was for them? Most of the breastfeeding threads you stumble across are from those having problems, and although that can happen, these threads can fill your head will a lot of negative preconceived notions about breastfeeding. You need to clear your mind and try it for yourself

This. Also because not many people in this country breastfeed, or have any experience of breastfeeding, you tend to get people giving really shitty “advice”. Like bf is unhygenic - this is what mum thought, as bottles are “sterilised” she thinks they are cleaner, or every time the baby cries someone will tell you it’s because the baby isn’t getting enough, or your milk isn’t rich enough. When the baby does a poo someone will ask if it should be runny like that, and maybe your milk is upsetting them. Then you get all the feeding again? Comments, because people are used to 4 hourly bottle feeds, and have never seen a cluster feeding bf baby. So they tell you there must be something wrong and your baby is starving

I didn’t know anything about bf or bottle feeding when I had mine. Which I put down to one of the reasons I succeeded. Every time they cried i fed them, and as long as I was ok I didn’t worry about how long they fed for or that they’d only fed an hour ago. People tried telling me all the above, including the m/w- all they said to me was “feeding again?, shall I get you a bottle so you can have a break?”. That was basically the answer to any bf question or problem- formula.

You need to be fairly self confident to resist all this, smile and nod, and use sites like kellymom to reassure yourself what is normal for bf babies.

One of the best pieces of advice i got was from my hv was to look at the whole baby- pink skin, fontanelle, wet eyes, are they active, how is their sleep/feed/wake cycle. Do they poo, what colour is the pee- pale is good, dark can mean they are heading toward not getting enough. They also recommended not weighing, or not weighing too often, as the gains are often small and scale error or a big poo can wipe out a weeks gain and panic everyone into thinking there’s something wrong.

Willow4987 · 03/02/2021 08:41

Also following on from @bluebluezoo the whole cluster feeding thing happens with bottle feeding as well so it’s not guaranteed to go away with formula. I think it’s just something that you have to accept is likely to happen whichever way you feed

breast feeding

Interested in this thread?

Yes it was absolutely all consuming and I craved my body back and had nights where I would detest his warm little body cuddled into mine nursing peacefully away cries whilst typing because I miss it so much. --