When did your LO stop waking up at the end of every sleep cycle (without sleep training)

[Marghe87]

Or better... when did they stop calling for you at the end of every sleep cycle? :)
DD is 5 months and has been goinf through a sleep regression for weeks.
She falls asleep around 7pm, sleep through one short cycle (about 40 min) and then wakes up crying. Then keeps waking up pretty much every two hours up until morning (I think sleep cycles get longer at night hence the 2 hours).

I know the key to succeed is supposed to be putting them down awake but so far this has proven IMPOSSIBLE with DD. I hope it might improve when she is older but right now she is bfed to sleep most nights.

When did your LOs sleep start consolidating? Did you do anything to make it happen? I am interested in hearing from those who didn’t sleep train - thank you!

18 months

After the sleep regression that you are currently in the midst of! At around 6 months old DD2 was sleeping for at least 4 hours at a time. Then the 8/9 month regression hit and it got worse again but then much better by 10 months old- sleeping for 5/6/7 hours at a time.

Now at 18 months old she does 8/9/10 hour stints.

We have never done any form of sleep training- just followed our DDs needs, and I EBF so it can be done without any form of training. Just keep being consistent in your routine and approach.

Hang in there it does get better...... and worse again...... and then better!

DS was about 11 months, DD still wakes 4 times a night at 2.5

At 9/10 months it's not unusual for DD to sleep 4-5 hours between wake ups. Also not unusual to wake up every 2 hours. She is put down asleep.

The 4 month sleep regression was 6+ weeks of 45 minute wake ups for all naps and night time sleep for us. After that, around 5 1/2 months, night time sleep and naps consolidated on their own. We’re in the midst of another regression atm (crawling, sitting & pulling to stand all in the same week! 🙈). Naps are still good but nighttime has reverted to 2 hourly wake ups (better than every 45 minutes!)

Once out the other side of this I expect his sleep to go back to normal. Sounds like you’re nearing the end of the 4 month regression so fingers crossed you see some longer naps and night time stretches soon!

About 2 years old maybe? He's 3.5 now and goes to bed at 7.30/8pm and wakes up around 10.30/11.30 to then come in my bed with me. If I don't let him in my bed and settle him back down then he wakes up every hour (or more) until he comes in my bed. So I suppose, maybe he still wakes after every sleep cycle now really

No solutions for you but you've described my just-turned 5 month old to a tee! It's been like this since Christmas and I am SO TIRED. maybe 2 nights a week she'll sleep for a 3-4 hour stretch, the other nights it's every 90 mins- 2 hours. Majority of day naps she snaps awake after 35 mins, but it obviously still tired.

I EBF and was feeding to sleep, but now I feed her and then my husband settles her (we co-sleep so he settles her in our bed and then i go back in). Sometimes this means we get a 3 hour stretch before her first wakeup, most of the time not.

Got better about 18 months (sorry you won't like my reply) but didn't sleep through every night until 7 years, yes exhausting!

DC one was 5 years old, DC2 about 9 months.

I was about to post something very similar on MN but you got here first!! You've explained exactly what my 5.5 month old is going through. She's been waking every 1-2 hours through the night for several nights now and used to only wake once or twice! She is also EBF so I do feed to sleep and putting her down awake is always doomed to failure so I know what you're going through! I'm reluctant to do sleep training unless this goes on and on and I end up at my wits end..so like you, I'm hoping this passes by itself. Hang in there!

@mootymoo but how many times did they wake up then? Are we talking every 2 hours or like once a night?

@ASomers will never understand how people manage putting then down awake! Impossible with DD!

Putting them down awake is made up bollocks frankly. It's the start of the line that becomes sleep training.

What you describe sounds like classic overtiredness to me.

Even in the regression, the baby should sleep 4-6 solid hours at the start of the night and then often start waking every 2 hours after midnight/1am.

The 40 min wake is classic overtiredness. Review the naps and bring bedtime forward a bit. Should help with the start of the night at least.

@fizzingwhizzbee123 how do you do that though?

For day naps, my DD will NOT go to sleep no matter what I try until she's been awake for 2.5 hours exactly, then it's like a switch goes off and she falls alseep. But will wake after 40 mins.

At night, we start her bedtime routine as soon as she shows tired cues, but the same - she'll fall asleep then be awake after 40 mins, then fall into the 2-hour wake pattern like OP. Taking her up before she shows tired cues doesn't translate to her falling asleep any earlier.

When people say "adjust nap times", I just don't understand how to do that when she won't shorten her wake windows.

11 months. I also breastfed her to sleep every night. She just did it by herself, I didn't really do anything.

@heroineinahalfshell how old is your little one and what’s your current nap schedule?

Just seen above that your little one is 5 month and mostly taking 35 min naps. I would say the short naps are probably causing the overtiredness rather than the awake windows.

I’m right there with you, with the short naps. DS2 is currently 3 months and hit the regression early and is a monster for the 35 min nap! DS1 did the same. We’ve had several of the 40 min then 2 hr wake nights ourselves recently, mostly because DS1 hasn’t been at nursery so I haven’t been able to dedicate so much time to getting DS2 to nap.

Today, I really focussed on his sleep and he’s slept straight through both 40 mins and 2 hours so far. It really is overtiredness.

In my opinion (and I don’t claim to be an expert, just my experience and what I’ve read), first you need to clear the sleep debt. Spend a few days doing whatever you have to do to get baby more rested. Forget self settling, just get that baby to sleep. Once the cortisol levels have gone down, it should be easier to work with.

My current approach with DS2 is to find the balance between teaching self settling and stopping him getting overtired. So today

Nap 1 - in a sling to get at least 1 hour
Nap 2 - in the cot, focus on self settling to sleep. Actively helped resettle after 35 min wake and his did 2 hours overall (resettling is frustrating and doesn’t always work but worth trying)
Nap 3 - 35 min
Nap 4 - 35 min
Keep the last nap short but trying to get longer earlier in the day even if it means sling, walking in the buggy, driving in the car etc. Then pick other times to focus on self settling in their bed.

If you get a day of all short naps, make sure baby gets regular short naps. I remember DS1 having 5 a day at his worst point!

It’ll pass, but it sucks right now. Good luck

@fizzingwhizzbee123 thanks for the tips. She contact naps & co-sleeps and I haven't even tried to get her to self-settle yet. Naps are always either in the sling or in the pram (usually 2 in the sling and 1 in the pram). I try to start the nap routine at 2 hours so there's scope for an earlier sleep. Sometimes I can resettle her when she wakes early and other times it's impossible. She really is all over the place, even though our nap routine is consistent, the length of time she stays asleep is anything but.

Ah, it’s so hard. And frustrating! Sometimes I sit in the dark with white noise running with him in a sling if I really need to try and get a longer nap out of him, swaying at cycle translations. If you’re able to try that, might be worth a go? As mentioned above though, DS1 had a period of constant short naps, no matter what I did. It was horrible but it did pass eventually. Just keep trying for the longer naps and hope for the best. I’ve also gone back to trying to “tank up” DS2 in the evenings with a few extra breastfeeds. He isn’t asking to clusterfeed much any more but will take it if I offer more, and focussing on drinking more water to keep my supply up (as I get busy and forget to eat and drink). I’ve found that helped a bit too.

Still waiting and mine are 18 (years old) and 20.

PS. And they both live out of the home but still text me all effing night complaining that they can't sleep.

@FizzingWhizzbee123 I don’t know what we are doing wrong with her naps tbh - it feels to me that all I do during the day is making her nap! Literally.
I even spend lots of time dancing in a dark bathroom (no window so darkest of all rooms) to make her falls asleep, several times a day...
She usually sleeps ok with the sling but it’s always between 30 and 40 min. The rare days when she sleeps longer and is more rested, she still wakes up after bedtime as described in my post.

Yesterday and today she has been getting even worse, completely refused to nap, no matter what we tried (sling, pram, breast, arms, darkness, white noise, everything). I try and always follow the first sleep cues and to ensure she jas adequate awake windows but god it’s hard! I am failing and don’t understand why.

@marghe87 you're not failing!!! I have days like that. I spend my time bouncing my baby in the sling or sometimes going for 3 walks in the day just to get her to sleep. The last few days, I feel like all I've done is work to try and get her to sleep. It makes me feel totally exhausted and useless but we're not useless. I do think some babies are just like that...I have found that accepting that that's what she's like is less stressful than desperately trying to enforce a routine on her. You're doing great.

Mine DS didn’t recover from the 4 month sleep regression and then the 8 month one hit! Luckily he’s coming out of that now at 10 months and will sleep around 5 hours without waking. I know that seems like a lot of time, but within that there were ups and downs where there would be a week of waking every hour and then a week of 2-3 wakes a night.

His naps have always been hit and miss, especially at 5-7 months. Sometimes taking an hour just to have 30mins nap! It’s better now, I let him start falling asleep on me then move him to the cot. He definitely couldn’t be put down awake until at least 7 months. You’re not doing anything wrong, babies are tricky and anyone who tells you their method works probably just had an easy baby