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Help! 2 year old still having 3 bottles of milk at night

52 replies

Jblue · 25/01/2021 15:27

Help! So my daughter turned 2 in October, she has a milk when she goes to bed around 7.30/8ish, she will then wake for a bottle when we go to bed around 11, and then again around 3am. Some nights she then wants another one at 5.30. Before waking at 7.30/8ish. She doesn't have milk during the day other than is cereal.

It doesn't bother me getting up and making the milk because im such a bad sleeper at the moment. But we have another baby due in 10 weeks, and I dont want to be up constantly during the night feeding!

She eats alot during the day and I've tried giving her porridge before bed ans it still doesn't change anything. I've tried watering down milk or giving her a smaller quantity and she will then just wake up more frequently. She even said to me at 3am that she was hungry. I've given her water instead, which didn't go down well!

Its worth to note that my daughter has never gone longer than 5 hours without a milk at night, she was born prematurely and had to have a special formula and set feed times to ensure her growth was on track. You would have no idea now what she went through, shes very advanced for her age and is bigger than her cousin who is also 2.
I spoke to a health visitor at her 2 year appointment, and they didn't quite know what to do. And said its up to be what battles I choose.

Has anyone else gone through this?? I wanted to know whether she will slowly stop wanting milk at night??

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pjani · 25/01/2021 15:35

Cold turkey? No more bottles, offer a cup of water instead when she wakes. This is what led to my DC1 sleeping through. I agree it's time to address it as you don't want to be doing this with a newborn, and you don't want to make upsetting changes just before or after the birth.

boomboom1234 · 25/01/2021 15:36

Stop giving their.

boomboom1234 · 25/01/2021 15:36

Stop giving it to her. Cold turkey is the only way! Sorry!

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Aquamarine1029 · 25/01/2021 15:38

I agree this needs to stop. I would go cold turkey and only offer water, and get your partner to help during the night. All this milk at night will be terrible for her teeth, and she needs to start sleeping through the night.

Lougle · 25/01/2021 15:39

You have two choices. Complete cold turkey. Will be hell for about a week, I reckon. Then it will start to get better. Or switch to water only. She'll hate that, too, but either way, she'll realise there is nothing to wake for.

Avaganda · 25/01/2021 15:41

Just offer water. I understand it is so hard but you'll be glad you did it. My daughter drank milk all through the night until she was 3 (yes I know I'm terrible) but one day I couldn't take it anymore so just offered water. Yes she cried most of the night for about 3 nights but after that peace was restored in our house!

Jblue · 25/01/2021 15:41

Thank you all so much! I will just have to grin and bare it! Would you recommend going completely cold turkey, or reducing to 1?

My partner is always happy to help and offers but because I wake so much I just do it, and he has to get up at 5 everyday so I don't think its fair on him

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THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 25/01/2021 15:41

You do just need to stop op

Is it full fat cows milk?

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 25/01/2021 15:42

It's not hunger it's just a habit . And I think not good for her teeth either

Aquamarine1029 · 25/01/2021 15:43

Do not just reduce, because all you're doing is sending mixed messages and dragging this out. Go cold turkey. It's the only way to stop this madness as quickly as possible. You'll have a few rough nights but it will soon be sorted.

ChablisandCrisps · 25/01/2021 15:44

Reducing won't help, you just need to stop. Having that much extra milk could lead to her being overweight if she is eating full meals on top. It will be horrible for a week or so and then she will adjust and be fine.

Jblue · 25/01/2021 15:44

Full fat cows milk

Thank you all! Really needed to hear from others so I'm not the only one!

Tonight will be the night, and I will be strong and not give in!

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CaraDuneRedux · 25/01/2021 15:44

^^ what they said.

I had friends in this situation. We all told them "swap milk with water and go cold turkey."

They said "we can't do that."

They paid 300 quid to a sleep consultant who said "swap milk with water and go cold turkey."

CaraDuneRedux · 25/01/2021 15:45

Btw it will be hell for several nights while you sort it out Flowers.

RoseWineandCake · 25/01/2021 15:46

My Dtwins were like this at 2yrs. It was more the bottle they liked than the milk itself. We switched to a 'special' cup just for milk, it was met with some tears and resistant but we went from 3 bottles of milk to not even a cup of milk within days.

ChablisandCrisps · 25/01/2021 15:46

Of course its fair on him! Both DH and I work FT and get up by 5am for commuting, we both do equal amounts of night time stuff. 5am is not particularly early unless he is staying up til midnight or something, if so he can go to bed earlier.

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 25/01/2021 15:46

I would go cold turkey

As pp says i would be concerned about her weight with all the milk plus normal meals

natalienewname · 25/01/2021 15:47

I'm afraid that it has to be cold turkey. No flex, no half measures.

As she's over 2 I would take the time to explain: bottles at night are for little babies, she's a very special big girl now, you're so proud of her being so big etc etc.

My lot always responded very well to bribes. So perhaps a Night Milk Fairy can come to take the bottle but leave some very exciting gift in exchange??

I even ended up drawing pictures of various 'fairies' in order to convince my 3 kids. But it weirdly worked.

I'd imagine a few nights of pain and then she'll realise she won't get it and she'll stop waking.

PurpleMustang · 25/01/2021 15:48

Can you not make up some cute story with her being 2 that the milk disappears out of the fridge at night, for reason xy and new milk is there in the morning, so from now on it will be only water. Blame babies waking up on the other side of the world for the morning milk. Or Santa said as now she is 2. Anything she will believe but takes the blame off you so she doesn't hate you 😄

HappyFlamingo · 25/01/2021 15:48

IME, some DC stop waking for milk at night on their own and others need you to take a proactive approach. Clearly your DD is in the latter category. I agree with others that cold turkey is the way to go! Sorry!

BingBongToTheMoon · 25/01/2021 15:48

Should really have stopped giving her bottles at a year (corrected for her prematurity).
You’re going to have to throw all the bottles out and go cold turkey.
A cup of water within her reach and if you need to go through to her during the night then offer her that.
When you say you don’t mind making up the bottles during the night......is it cows milk you’re giving her?
I think though that you might’ve left this too late with the new baby coming soon and your 2 year old might be jealous that baby gets a bottle and she doesn’t.

riotlady · 25/01/2021 15:49

We had this same problem and we cold turkey switched her to water, which she takes to bed with her in a no spill sippy cup so she can have a little drink in the night if she’s thirsty. It actually wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be and she sleeps through the night now.

SmileyClare · 25/01/2021 15:50

Why not get her on a sippy cup now? She's just using the bottle as a comforter, she can't be hungry if she eats well in the day. She is also going to start putting on too much weight.

Try a different bed routine? Bath, story and cuddles until she's asleep and leave her a sippy cup next to her for if she's thirsty in the night. Perhaps buy her a cup she has chosen herself?

Most toddlers respond well to sticker charts. Try a sticker every night for going to bed without bottle and a lovely prize after a week of stickers (a toy she wants or something).

I think it's worth trying to crack this before your new baby arrives.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/01/2021 15:50

I also agree with pp about getting rid of bottles entirely. She's too old for them and should be using a cup.

riotlady · 25/01/2021 15:50

We didn’t bother with any cutesy explanations btw, we just said “no more milk, we have water at bedtime now”. She asked for milk a few times but then got the gist.