Is it normal for a parent to freeze in fear when they anticipate hurt to their child

[sarahhoping]

My 1 yr old baby was at the edge of bed , at a height of around 1 meters in our bedroom, and I was in the kitchen talking to someone. My husband was in the hallroom working on his laptop , although he could see the edge of bed.
We both hear babies silent voice , he was sleeping till now, he was at the very edge just about to fall. My husband almost froze in fear and could only scream "eh ehhh" as I rushed in to pick up the baby

Later he felt kinda foolish , but i think its normal to freeze in fear isn't it .
has it ever happened to you or your hubby .

I guess it might be normal to freeze but I certainly wouldn't, I would (and have) rush to baby if needed.

I'm confused about how that situation arose, was the baby sleeping on the bed and is that why you both left baby unattended? Did baby wriggle, roll or crawl his way to the edge?

If you regularly leave baby on the bed to sleep, you really need to get some bed guards, or put baby in a cot instead.

It is completely normal to freeze in panic sometimes, however it was incredibly foolish to leave a 1 year old asleep on the edge of the bed. I would be more concerned about how that happened if I were you.

yes, I have been known to freeze as a panic response

Yes, it's perfectly normal.

Don't leave the baby on the bed though. That's the problem here, not your husband's physical response to feelings of terror.

Yes.
I suffer with anxiety, and have frozen when my dd has almost hurt herself. Thankfully only for a split second and managed to prevent injury.
The issue is that your child shouldn't be left alone on a bed at that age, that's not me judging just take it as a learning curve. Your dh reaction was normal.

I freeze in panic in all scenarios except when my child is in danger. I have lightening reflexes when it comes to DD, sometimes I've grabbed her before I've even realised she's at risk.

The rest of the time, when it's me or someone else, i freeze.

Some people freeze, some don't.

I don't think I've ever frozen in fear like that. I suppose if your dh knows now he does this then he needs to take precautions to baby proof the house and not leave baby on high surfaces to sleep.

A metre high bed is pretty tall!

OP here. no he was sleeping on the bed , as always . Usually one of the family member attends the baby even when he's sleeping .
My baby sleeps between me and my husband at night , since day one .

One precaution is to move sharp edged furniture away from the bed and surround with pillows on the floor if that's the only place baby can sleep during the day?

It's a lesson to be learned that we can't rely on lightning reflexes to keep a baby safe so need to plan or risk assess ahead.

@sarahhoping

OP here. no he was sleeping on the bed , as always . Usually one of the family member attends the baby even when he's sleeping . My baby sleeps between me and my husband at night , since day one .

A 1yr old shouldn't be sleeping in a bed without guards.

Yes, I freeze. I hate it actually but I can't seem to do anything about it. Fortunately DS seems to be indestructible and he hasn't really had any injuries at all, but on the occasions he has come close I do seem to just completely freeze.

In that case I advise you to get two bed guards (one for each side of the bed), the type can you can fold up or down as needed. I have a safetots one on DS's bed which works well.

Be aware though that DC could still fall and might be able to pull himself up and over the bed guard too, so you would still need to stay close by to keep an eye on him.

Yup, it's fight, flight or freeze. I wouldn't feel too bad.

@Ohalrightthen can they seriously hurt themselves if they fall from a 1 meter high bed .
I think they might , problem is my son is very curious and what if he tries to jump or crawl over the bed guards.
For this reason , we used to have some family member always sit on the bed when he would be sleeping. Its tedious I know , but a small baby always needs an attendant .
Babies are VVIPs

OP here , is there a way to trigger a flight response. The freeze response is just too horrifying , when you don't move but your mouth is like "oh mmy goddd wait "

[quote sarahhoping]@Ohalrightthen can they seriously hurt themselves if they fall from a 1 meter high bed .
I think they might , problem is my son is very curious and what if he tries to jump or crawl over the bed guards.
For this reason , we used to have some family member always sit on the bed when he would be sleeping. Its tedious I know , but a small baby always needs an attendant .
Babies are VVIPs[/quote]
So if you think a small baby always needs to be supervised why did you both leave the baby unattended?!

Bed guards are safer than nothing at all!

You need to use bed guards or put him in a cot if you don't want to stay in the room with him at all times.

There must be an easier way than having someone sit with him when sleeps?! A fold away travel cot? Or just set up a quilt and pillow on the floor for day naps?

He's getting treated like a king with guards at the moment

@NameChange30
I think these days it happens more often than not that we leave the baby unattended when he is sleeping. I know its something we should be ashamed of , and is inviting a disaster god forbid !
Usually either me or my MIL or my husband takes turns to sit with baby. esp now that my husband works from home due to pandemic.
but sometimes the baby's alone :/
its got to stop

@SmileyClare we don't have much other option. the other option is as you said , sleeping arrangement on the floor and we have done it before too , i think its a better option

I think these days it happens more often than not that we leave the baby unattended when he is sleeping. I know its something we should be ashamed of , and is inviting a disaster god forbid !

I know you said you co-sleep with your baby, but what do you think parents who don't co-sleep do? They don't sit up all night watching their babies in case they climb out or fall out of their cots or beds

Sorry but this thread is bonkers, still worrying about fight or flight just get your baby napping safely in an empty cot. Madness

It sounds like you don't have much space which is tricky but Yes now he's more mobile you're going to have to set up a little bed area on the floor for him and look at baby proofing the rest of your home as much as possible; cover sharp corners, open sockets, secure cupboards that sort of thing.

Even out and about once he's walking you can put him on reins or have a wrist strap in case you freeze by the side of the road. Just always think two steps ahead.

That way you can relax more and you won't be relying on having eyes on him all the time and quick reflexes (which can't always be relied on as you've discovered!)

Why isn't he in a cot!? Or a mattress on the floor?

@UserEleventyNine at night he sleeps between me and the husband . I keep his one hand on him as I sleep sideways. this also helps me to breastfeed him at night while he's still asleep lol
and my hubby who sits on the edge side of bed acts as a natural shield lol