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Original poster

Potty training advice please!

36 replies

Pantheon · 23/01/2021 13:21

Tried to potty train my 3 yo a few times before now. This attempt is going better, as in she knows when she needs a wee or poo and will tell us, but will then be reluctant to sit on her potty/the loo or not sit for long enough and then keep going back and forth, whatever we do to try and keep her on her potty (books, bubbles etc) She gets it on the potty sometimes but has lots of accidents too - we're eight days in now. Just looking for opinions! Is this normal? Is she not ready or is this more behavioural? We started potty training again because she asked us and didn't want to wear nappies anymore.

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shhsecretsquirrel · 23/01/2021 13:33

I've head a lot of good things about the book called oh crap! Potty training. We're not there yet so can't give an opinion on whether it actually but might be worth a go

Mylittlepony374 · 23/01/2021 13:37

We tried a few times with my first (2nd still too young) she was 2 yrs 9 months when she "got it" and within 3 days was mostly dry but she still had accidents for at least a few weeks, maybe a month, after when she was too busy playing or distracted. Creche told us this was normal.

Snarfblaff · 23/01/2021 13:40

With both my dc I put aside a week where we didn't need to leave the house and I took all nappies away so they were basically naked or with proper pants on for the entire time we were potty training. If they had an accident then so be it but they weren't having nappies back. My dd was potty trained day and night (2 and a quarter years old) within a 1.5 days. My ds was potty trained day and night (bang on 3 years old) within the first day.

So I would say

  1. make sure your child is definitely ready. My ds took a lot longer to be ready than my dd but it was the right time for him. If potty training is a struggle then I would delay it a bit longer and keep coming back to it until your dc is 100% ready.

  2. don't confuse the message by allowing your dc to have a nappy on some of the time. Be consistent and take them away completely (except perhaps over night).

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Snarfblaff · 23/01/2021 13:45

Also, to answer your question, I would say that it sounds like you maybe need to wait a little longer. If she hasn't got it within 8 days maybe she just needs an extra month or so until she is ready.

Perhaps for now you could just let her use the potty when she wants to, but not take it too seriously for now, and then in a months time try again properly?

Original poster
Pantheon · 23/01/2021 18:28

Thanks everyone.
@Snarfblaff We've been doing pretty much the same thing. She doesn't nap anymore so only has a nappy on overnight. Poos she seems to get and they are always in the potty. Wees are hit and miss because she doesn't sit long enough or says she needs to go but then won't sit down. I think we'll give it a few more days and then leave it for a month like you say. I think I'm feeling the pressure now that she's 3 and all her friends are potty trained, but that's about me and not fair on her!

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Bourbonbiccy · 23/01/2021 19:17

The book oh crisp is great.

Please stick with it, if she has asked for her nappy to be taken away, give her that chance.

Don't confuse her with nappies (except for maybe bed time), she has nailed knowing where her poo goes, so don't go back.

Bourbonbiccy · 23/01/2021 19:17

Sorry the book "oh crap"

glassecase · 23/01/2021 19:21

@Snarfblaff

Also, to answer your question, I would say that it sounds like you maybe need to wait a little longer. If she hasn't got it within 8 days maybe she just needs an extra month or so until she is ready.

Perhaps for now you could just let her use the potty when she wants to, but not take it too seriously for now, and then in a months time try again properly?

8 days is nothing!
Original poster
Pantheon · 23/01/2021 20:41

@Bourbonbiccy thanks, we've been doing a loose version of the oh crap book -she's been bare bottomed a lot in the house and at the start of the week I put her on the potty when she was starting to go. I still do this with wees quite often.
I hear what you're saying about giving her that opportunity. She does sometimes now say she wants to wear nappies sometimes too, I'm thinking it's just because that's what she's known all her life and this is new. I find it hard to know what is normal when it comes to potty training as some kids seem to get it so quickly.

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Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 11:55

I think the book really work well if you are willing to follow through with it fully.
If she is pooing in the potty, what is different for her wees are her "tells" the same where you know she is about to wee?
Does she make the effort to move to the potty or just wees herself
Does she tell you after she has wet knickers

Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 12:19

I know she's about to wee as she holds herself or looks squirmy and I can sometimes coax her to the potty at that point but she won't relax enough to wee. (I pop in and out of the room) or she'll just refuse to sit. So then I try and catch her once she's started weeing. She can hold it for hours.. I think it's anxiety maybe. Not sure.

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Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 14:34

8 days is nothing!

This^^

if she is already pooing in her potty after 8 days, why would you dream of going back when it is now just the wees you need to concentrate on.

What do you do when she wees on the floor ?

Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 17:00

I don't mind cleaning up accidents, just concerned by how long DD will hold on to a wee - has been 5 hours before!

How long would you say would be a good time to try for? Or do we just continue now until she gets it? Not sure if I can do months and months Tbh

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Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 17:00

If she has an accident, I just say, 'wees go in the potty' or 'next time you'll get it in the potty' etc and she helps me clean up

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RedMarauder · 24/01/2021 17:06

Is she happy just using the potty or do you need a training seat on the toilet as well? So kids prefer using the latter or want to swap between both.

Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 17:51

accidents, just concerned by how long DD will hold on to a wee - has been 5 hours before!

One of our friends was worried about her little boy not weeing that often, I didn't really get it myself, she will wee when she needs to, wether that's in the potty or not is a different story.

Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 17:57

How long would you say would be a good time to try for? Or do we just continue now until she gets it? Not sure if I can do months and months Tbh

There is no good time to keep tying as children are different, our Son didn't want his nappy and we bought oh crap, followed it to the word and he was done in just over a week. But it's no size fits all.

Our friend followed bits and ignored, changed bits and it took 8/10 weeks.

So is she now still in the naked phase if she isn't getting more wees in the potty than not?
When do you put a nappy on her ? (pull up are nappies )

Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 18:13

@RedMarauder she has both so tends to swap between them, had more success with the potty chair though

@Bourbonbiccy yes, she's still in the naked phase. We have been on walks for all our sanity and to the playground briefly and she has had pants and trousers on for those and no accidents.

She only wears a nappy at bedtime, not in the day at all.

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Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 18:14

should add - not long walks! just around the block or the local park

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RedMarauder · 24/01/2021 18:34

OP see if you can get her to drink more. Even adults can only drink so much fluid before having to go to toilet.

Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 18:35

@Bourbonbiccy yes, she's still in the naked phase. We have been on walks for all our sanity and to the playground briefly and she has had pants and trousers on for those and no accidents.

Surely that's a success that's she not having accidents out, after only 8 day.

They say baggy trousers and no underwear,

How many out of the day end up in the potty or toilet.

So in the house she is naked but just not showing interest in using the potty or toilet for wees and just doing it on the floor ?

Or is she refusing when you are telling her to go and she doesn't want to, then having an accident ?

Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 19:01

@RedMarauder I'll keep trying to get her to drink more, I think she is holding it until she's bursting sometimes.

@Bourbonbiccy what tends to happen is she'll say 'I need a wee!' (great) but then be reluctant to go and sit on the potty! Instead she tries to hold it in. She will sometimes rush to the loo or sit and try but doesn't relax enough for anything to happen so then I'm watching her like a hawk afterwards and when she starts to go I put her on the potty.
She tells me she doesn't like potty training but then a few weeks back she told me she didn't like nappies Grin

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Original poster
Pantheon · 24/01/2021 19:17

if she is very distracted she will just start to pee though - but I'm not expecting no accidents, it's the saying she needs to go but being reluctant to sit and try that's trickier

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Bourbonbiccy · 24/01/2021 19:33

So she know where to put het poos and is getting them in
She is telling you when she needs a wee
She knows where her wee goes.
All in 8 days
Her only thing is building confidence with the potty or toilet for wees ?

Does she tell you why she doesn't like it for wees ?
Is she scared? Does it splash her ?

Using lots of comparisons for wees are just like poos and you are doing so well with poos it's just the same. Building her confidence and reassurance with time may be the only way

Snarfblaff · 24/01/2021 22:53

@glassecase I disagree. If it hasn't clicked into place within a day or so then the child isn't ready.