Breastfeeding I need HELP!

[babeeebees45]

Currently sitting here at 5:54am trying to breastfeed my DS who's a week old it's soo hard I should have read more about it I'm soo tired I feel like he's not getting enough but I know he is because he is peeing and pooing.

I don't know when he's full as he will fall asleep on the boob and then I burp him then put him down and he's crying again😫 he doesn't unlatch when he's done so I have try guess

My boobs are soo big it's so difficult to get in a comfortable position at this point I think I've failed and now am starting to give formula

It is hard, OP. Hardest thing I've ever done. Doesn't mean you've failed. My first time breastfeeding it took 6 weeks before I could latch DD consistently and my nipples no longer hurt. Took 2 weeks with DS.

DS is now 12 weeks and has gotten lazy with his latch and now my nipples are hurting again so I'm having to fix it. When it works though, it's bloody brilliant. Best thing for them and you, health-wise, easy for you, by far the lazier option. Can grab nappies and go out without fannying around taking bottles, water and powder.

But it does take grit. You can do it if you want to.

That all sounds normal to me. You are doing great, you haven't failed at all. As long as you've got lots of wet nappies he's getting plenty and you are doing fine. These early days can be really tough, I know, I've been there. If you get a minute, and I know it's hard to find time, Google the fourth trimester. It'll explain a lot. Also Google the rugby hold, you might find it easier for you both. Hang on in there, you can do it, and it's worth it.

Express enough off the boobs so they're comfortable, but no more. The engorgement will eventually subside. Store what you've expressed off for later feeding.

Join a breastfeeding group on Facebook, such as Breastfeeding younger babies and beyond' and seek out support groups in your area.

WRT not being able to get him off- I generally find that if they're full they will drop off themselves. The last bit of the feed is really fatty and slow to come out and can take aaaaaaaaaaages. I must admit I've often unlatched DS because I'm fed up of waiting for him to be done, but if they cry they need to go back on- might be worth winding and switching sides at that point as the milk will be faster on the other side and might just top him up enough so he will fall off.

At this age he won't necessarily come off when he's full, because they're wired to suckle for the bonding as well as the milk. Plus, cluster feeding is completely normal (and hell) so you'll feel like you've only just put him down and he wants to go back on again. It's so tiring, but it's just a phase. As the months go by he'll get more efficient and cluster feeding will be a thing of the past. You're doing amazingly! Get DH to bring you tea in bed.

Feel your pain, currently going through it with DC2, 3 weeks old. I'm using a nipple shield, which helps with the soreness. It will get better. Try and sleep in the day when baby does and get your partner to help as much as possible with everything else!

Thank you all for your reassuring messages I really appreciate it we are some strong women 😩

And I will definitely let DH bring me tea in bed lol @ArtemisBean

If he's asleep or nearly asleep then unlatch him, don't bother winding him and put him down (then hope he stays down!). With my first I just kept feeding but realised with my second he just needed more sleep, so getting him down before he got too tired was important. If you have a local breastfeeding support group, do call them. And keep at it, it gets better!

B feeding is bloody hard. To start with it's a full time job. I really enjoyed it with both of mine in the end though the first 6 weeks are the hardest yoh and baby are learning

Agreed with everyone else that all this sounds totally normal. Your milk supply will even out over the next few weeks, and your baby will get more efficient too. Right now (fourth trimester, as stated) you’re both a milk machine AND a human pacifier, so not unlatching is also normal. If your baby seems to be asleep or is nibbling rather than sucking, a pinky into the side of the mouth to unlatch can work... or just settle in for the long haul with your feet up and a good book. ;-) It truly does get easier. Early days are brutal though. Congrats on your little one!

I didn’t burp either of my babies after bf them (bf both for over a year). In my experience bf babies don’t need burping in the way formula fed babies do. That might be waking him up. You can gently unlatch with your little finger if he’s stopped sucking but still attached.

@Bringallthebiscuits

I didn’t burp either of my babies after bf them (bf both for over a year). In my experience bf babies don’t need burping in the way formula fed babies do. That might be waking him up. You can gently unlatch with your little finger if he’s stopped sucking but still attached.

Be aware that they might need burping though. If I failed to burp mine, they were either very distressed for the rest of the evening as the wind gradually worked its way through and eventually emerged as flatulence (DD) or projectile-vomited all over themselves and whoever was holding them in a manner reminiscent of the exorcist film (DS).

@Bringallthebiscuits

I didn’t burp either of my babies after bf them (bf both for over a year). In my experience bf babies don’t need burping in the way formula fed babies do. That might be waking him up. You can gently unlatch with your little finger if he’s stopped sucking but still attached.

Another vote for not burping here.

They take in air when they cry/swallow normally so it’s not just about feeding method but some babies may be worse than others with wind.

I see someone has already mentioned the rugby ball hold. Have you tried feeding him lying down? This was a game changer for me. The cluster feeding was more tolerable for me when I could watch Netflix or doze relatively safely at the same time. Lie on your side(stick a pillow between your knees and maybe one behind your back at the hips). Lie baby on their side with their nose level with your nipple. You may even find baby can feed from both breasts in this position if you adjust the angle you are on. I also like the position where you lie flat on your back and baby lies on your tummy facing you. It took three weeks for me to have zero nipple pain at the start of feeds.

You're doing great! It's so hard to start with. Trust the wet and dirty nappies as an indicator that he's getting enough. The crying when you put him down is likely just because he wants to be held, he's just a week old and being out of your safe arms will seem scary. It's tough when your breasts feel too full, you could try pumping a tiny bit out to relieve them but this can actually cause your supply to increase further and become more full. Your breasts will calms down as they learn to regulate how much your baby needs.

I was told newborns should feed at least 20 minutes from each breast to start. It can be a constant battle to keep them awake enough to feed properly in those early days. Things that work can be tickling under the chin, stripping them off so they're a bit cold (and hopefully awake) and changing their nappy mid feed to perk them up.

I know it's hard not to worry if they're getting enough. I'm currently breastfeeding my second who is 3 months old and I worry every day she's not getting enough AND she's my second after successfully breastfeeding my first for over a year! It's hard to trust our bodies can keep these tiny humans alive but they can and they do! Keep up and great work, you're doing amazing!

Sounds like you're doing a great job and all completely normal. I mix fed until 7 months (dropped to just BF ever since, now 14 months old) so DD had one bottle in the evening so I could go to bed! And she had a dummy which helped. But in the early weeks she still really just wanted to be held by DH or me or just be feeding. It's a bit relentless at that stage but it gets easier and you're doing all of the right things.

@TopBants fair enough, perhaps I was lucky with mine not being too gassy! Think it makes sense to try burping if they’re distressed and crying but I never bothered if they had fallen asleep at the boob and were dozing away.

OP it's so hard and nothing prepares you for how relentless the early days are! But it sounds like you are doing a great job, it doesn't seem like it but baby will start to establish a pattern soon and your boobs will sync with baby's needs.
I'm not sure if this is advised but someone recommended me blowing gently on the baby's face once they fell asleep on the boob to encourage more feeding and not getting just falling asleep.

[quote Bringallthebiscuits]@TopBants fair enough, perhaps I was lucky with mine not being too gassy! Think it makes sense to try burping if they’re distressed and crying but I never bothered if they had fallen asleep at the boob and were dozing away.[/quote]
A lot of HCPs advise that breastfed babies don't need burping, so it's unsurprising that some (perhaps the majority) don't need it. Took me a few weeks of misery with DD to work out that mine actually did!

I think most will tell you it's hard. By far the hardest thing I've done. My son didn't get the idea until 6 weeks and still took me until 10/12 weeks to find it natural. But we did it. There were lots of tears, I combi fed for the first 6 weeks and expressed bottles to get through this (from advice from specialists) I had support from LLL is this somewhere you can contact in your area? Mine aren't working at the moment but we have another charity who are. And I paid privately for help as the NHS were useless.

You're doing a fabulous job - honestly it was the hardest thing I have ever done, purely because of the doubt!

Loads of great tips here. I'm currently a week in feeding my second, and rugby ball hold has been a game changer. I've also sacked off the breastfeeding pillow and just using small cushions to prop up etc. My DD doesn't always unlatch herself either and so when I feel she is just having a little suckle and not really feeding, I slide her off.

I didn't wind my babies at night either, they fell asleep on me so just kept them in the same position and put them in the cot.
Your body is still adjusting to how much milk to make, so your boobs will be huge for a few more days. I would suggest trying not to express just yet otherwise your body will think that it needs to keep producing that level of milk. Wait for a couple of weeks for it to settle.
But I'll echo what everyone else says, you sound like you are doing just great

Just another quick message of support to say that nothing you've described sounds unusual OP. Please don't worry. These early weeks of BF can be really, really tough, but you'll find your feet over the next few weeks!

@profilechange

I didn't wind my babies at night either, they fell asleep on me so just kept them in the same position and put them in the cot. Your body is still adjusting to how much milk to make, so your boobs will be huge for a few more days. I would suggest trying not to express just yet otherwise your body will think that it needs to keep producing that level of milk. Wait for a couple of weeks for it to settle. But I'll echo what everyone else says, you sound like you are doing just great

I see what you're saying, but for me the risk of mastitis outweighs the risk of oversupply (particularly because babies need a larger supply as they grow anyway, so even if you do make too much and need to express some off for a week or two, eventually the demand does catch up with the supply).

You’ve had some great advice OP and it sounds like you’re doing amazing.

The only thing I’d add is that it’s normal for a baby of that age to cry when being put down separate from you. A bottle fed baby is likely to do the same thing at this point. If baby unlatches and you’re able to then hold them sleeping or have them sleeping on your chest then it ‘proves’ they’re not starving hungry - just wanting closeness to you! This of course doesn’t help you get any sleep, and it can be the most frustrating thing ever, but it does stop your confidence in breastfeeding being chipped away at.