Cannot get three year old to leave the house!!

[bmachine]

Help.

I need your collective wisdom

How do i get a strong willed three year old to get dressed and leave the house

She puts up SO much resistance everytime that sometimes we cave and dont bother..but then we are all going nuts by the eve as she has burned no energy

We dont have this issue in summer/pre covid with activites and friends booked.

We are trying to wfh in a two bed flat with nursery shut (doing work shifts) we need to get out and all feel better after a walk/trip to playground but how do i get her out the door?

In tier four so little to entice her out of door with beyond a playgrounds that shes probably bored of.

Any ideas?

It's a long time since I had a toddler and obviously the circumstances were different, but I do remember those days of flat refusal. However, despite being a generally lax parent, I always made getting out of the house non- negotiable, for my sanity as much as anything. What about a treasure/scavenger hunt? Or do you have a friend who could lend you a dog? Winter picnic?

Bike /scooter /pram to push /money for sweet shop!

I’m in the same boat! Literally it’s ridiculous! Mine is 2.5.
Over December I used his advent calendar as a bribe to get him dressed but that’s gone now. We stayed in all day yesterday as he just refused. Sometimes getting him dressed whilst he’s on the loo helps! Quick get on his pants, trousers and socks whilst he’s otherwise engaged 😂 then it’s easier to wrestle on his top.

I don’t have any tips but I do feel your pain

Take her out in her pyjamas? Then all you have to get into is wellies and a coat.

God almighty if she rules the roost at 3, you’re in for fun!

Can you drive somewhere a bit more exciting?
What worked for us -
Magnifying glass
Tree identifying sheet
Collecting things to make a collage or paint
Binoculars and bird watching book
Promise of a ‘winter picnic’ ie hot chocolate or soup in a flask and a sandwich or cupcake

@Separateatone

God almighty if she rules the roost at 3, you’re in for fun!

^^ this.

I don't recall my toddlers getting much say in anything more than which cartoon they wanted to watch or if they wanted an apple or banana.

Hi guys thanks for your responses..much appreciated..i think these combined with a new snow suit (if i can bloody win one on ebay!) Might help us

Unfortunately dont drive so stuck with local parks and playgrounds

i agree with those that say she is ruling the roost on this issue. I can obviously drag her out the house kicking off with no coat on (which i do somedays ) but would rather she wants to go!

We walk to the nearest supermarket and get a magazine; that provides an hr of reading, colouring, counting and stickers - oh and some free plastic crap- almost worth the £4

This might sound nuts but could you do it in bits? So rather than we’re going to the park so we need to get dressed, get our shoes and coats on and go then you just say, time to get dressed. Then, let’s put shoes on. You could offer her the choice of where to go (eg playground 1 or 2). I also found with mine at that age they don’t get needing to put a coat on as inside they’re not cold. So just bring coat and put it on outside when they realise it’s bloody freezing. Oh and in the absence of actual fun activities I discovered that my 2 actually like doing really random stuff like watching the diggers on a building site or counting cats on a walk round the block or hitting each other with sticks. Also bribery is an oft used parenting technique in this household...

Make it a game.
Be a character trying to get her dressed and get it wrong. Sock on your hand etc
Say I bet you can't get dressed in 30 seconds, let's race! And go from there.
Give her choices, do you want to wear this or this?

Make it a bit more fun.
We had a LOT of resistance to getting dressed and getting out the door, but once we started racing, or letting her tell us how to do it, or asking her what came next, we had more success.

Same for getting out the door... Shall we walk or skip? I bet you can't hop all the way to the gate etc.

Those days when I don't feel like fun and just tell her what to do, I end up spending more energy cajoling her to just effing get dressed!!!

Ha my 3 year old rules the roost on most issues so I can relate and it’s bloody exhausting. She has food issues since a baby so hardly eats and she can function on very little sleep. We put her to bed around 8:30pm but she messes about in her room till about 10:30pm. She likes a lie in and refuses to get dressed in the morning which means wrestling with her. We are late for everything. Bribes, negotiations, marking it into a game and reward charts have not been fruitful. I am dreading it when she is a teen.

Don't say the word "walk". It sounds boring.

Are you getting her dressed first thing, or letting it go until mid-morning? I'd try and get up and out straight away (if you can with the wfh), I always find it loads easier if you have some momentum behind you. I often find it takes ages to get my 2.5 year old out on home days, but I never really struggle on nursery days, and the difference is just that on nursery days he has to be up and dressed, then breakfast, then go because otherwise I'll be late to work. On home days we don't have to be anywhere (especially at the moment!) so it's easy to let him drift, get distracted and it takes ages - which can be quite nice and relaxed, but not if it's a stressful dynamic. I'd try insisting that getting dressed is the first thing she does, and that nothing else will happen until it has, in a bright, brisk and breezy way and doing the same for going out.

I’m in the same boat with my 2.5 year old. It’s weird because he loves it when out but will refuse to go and also refuse to get dressed. I make his clothes “talk” to him - eg his jumper will say it’s so sad it has no one to wear it, and his socks will try to eat his feet. He finds this hilarious and that usually works. We’ve also been teaching him to dress himself and he gets massive praise for that which really motivates him. Good luck!

What's the incentive? I bring food for squirrels or birds, bring a ball, frisbee, scooter, magnifying glass, binoculars, torchetc or go to the shop for a magazine or sweets. I don't think many adults would be arsed to get dressed to go for the same walk they've done 1000 times.

I do also agree that actually maybe it is just boring going for the same walks over and over - but I feel your pain on this when there's nothing else to do! I thought it was impossible for a toddler to get bored of the playground but DS is definitely bored of our closest one.

My 3.5yo and 6yo are like this too. Especially as we have a dog so they get dragged out for boring walks, plus we took them on a 3.5 mile walk up a muddy hill that slightly broke them! Some good suggestions above! Mix it up with scooter, bike, walk, stomp, puddle hunt, stick hunt, scavenger hunt with tick list, find things to bring home and use for crafts, we are currently sat tying cotton and beads around sticks we found earlier!

My 3yo is in a right stage for screaming about clothes too. To be honest I sometimes put him to bed wearing trousers and tshirt that he can keep on the next day!!!!! I feel its a parenting ninja move...

I’d separate getting dressed and going out- getting dressed is a daily routine after brushing your teeth whether you stay in or go out.

There's nothing to say they need to be dressed in "proper" clothes to go out - just needs to be warm - you could go for a "race", a jump, a skip...

Also indoor games are your friends for tiring out, tumble tots action songs, musical bumps on cushions, hide and seek, sardines, wrestling you to the floor...

I don't think I'll win any parenting awards but bribery all the way.

When you have children to take to school or a dog to walk you have no option but to go. I would employ the same mindset Ie it is happening. I used to take a little treat eg hot drink, buttons , kite , back pack to put things in and give a little plan such as 'we will have the snack at the bench by the big tree ' or whatever

When my LO wouldn’t brush her teeth one morning I said “that’s fine but mummy ca t play with you until you do”... worked after 40mins

Can you try reframing going out as an adventure? So ask what sort of adventure she fancies - collecting things (leaves, number 7s on house doors, lampposts etc), exploring (where does this path go, who do you think lives here) finding things (supermarket etc, give her a list of things she needs to find). We used to do this with DS when he was small.