Cannot get three year old to leave the house!!

[bmachine]

Help.

I need your collective wisdom

How do i get a strong willed three year old to get dressed and leave the house

She puts up SO much resistance everytime that sometimes we cave and dont bother..but then we are all going nuts by the eve as she has burned no energy

We dont have this issue in summer/pre covid with activites and friends booked.

We are trying to wfh in a two bed flat with nursery shut (doing work shifts) we need to get out and all feel better after a walk/trip to playground but how do i get her out the door?

In tier four so little to entice her out of door with beyond a playgrounds that shes probably bored of.

Any ideas?

I'm going to come over all old fashioned but when mine were small (80s/90s) kids were expected to do as they were told. They might have made a bit of a fuss but if we were going out, we went out, because their parents were in charge.
Has it really gone so wrong, or do we only hear about it more no we have forums to discuss it on?
A friend with young primary age children did tell me you aren't meant to say No to children anymore. Is this true?

My 2-3 year old was the hardest I ever had to handle. Teens were a doddle in comparison.

Don't take it to heart, try out some different strategies. You'll get there.

Bribery. When mine were reluctant walkers we bribed them with chocolate coins to walk up hills. So - people who walk all the way to the end of this path / top of hill/ etc get a chocolate coin.

And sympathies. I had an extremely stubborn 3-yo. Who also threw epic tantrums. So much energy was expended by us trying to get him to do stuff he didn’t want to and by him resisting. It was really hard for a while, but he’s 5 now and delightful nearly all of the time. Hang in there.

And to all those saying be in charge, get on and do it anyway. Yes, that’s fine to a point. There’s many a time we had to carry a half-naked screaming 3-yo on the school run, etc, because sometimes you just need to get out the door. But it’s horrible and stressful and not fun for anyone. Often there’s a less painful way of getting stuff done.

Oh also I find if you can build up a weird interest in road signs or electricity substations, that can be handy!

Bribery all the way! Or leverage as I used to call it . If they have good language skills I would do the choices. So, do you want to get dressed now or after

3 is the hardest age when you have a stubborn and wilful child.
It gets much easier after 4. Just hang in there and keep going

A friend with young primary age children did tell me you aren't meant to say No to children anymore. Is this true?

Only if you're a blithering idiot wanting to make a rod for your own back. Of course you have to say no. With great frequency.

Well I did think it was mad, ifthesockfits but she seems to think you are meant to negotiate with them
I worked on the basis of engaging with my kids a lot, giving them agency over certain choices (ie green socks or red socks, not whether to wear socks at all) and making it clear that if I said no, I meant it.
They all turned out quite well, I think!

The only thing that worked with my eldest at that age was bribery - just a chocolate button or something small. That strategy doesn't seem to have done them any long term harm :)

@Whenwillow

Well I did think it was mad, ifthesockfits but she seems to think you are meant to negotiate with them I worked on the basis of engaging with my kids a lot, giving them agency over certain choices (ie green socks or red socks, not whether to wear socks at all) and making it clear that if I said no, I meant it. They all turned out quite well, I think!

Sounds perfectly modern 😁

Negotiate with them??!! Who has that much time or patience?! Kids will argue until the cows come home. I appreciate as they get bigger and heavier it's not always a simple matter of just picking them up and leaving the house, but as PP have said children need to do as you say. Dress it up as a game by all means (makes it more fun for you too!) but she'll be much calmer and happier in the long run if you set up boundaries and stick to them. Hope it all works out for you, OP!

26mo here. We never go for 'a walk'. We go to find frozen puddles to smash, or look at the cows, or crunchy leaves to stamp on. He also enjoys seeing buses, tractors and traffic lights too.

I find letting him choose what he's wearing helps with the getting dressed process. I open his drawer of t-shirts and indicate which ones he can choose from. I usually then choose a pair of trousers that match (although DS's fashion sense is better than his father's 😂). He chooses, then we take it through to my room and we get ready together. (Mummy gets dressed, DS gets dressed, mummy takes her vitamins, DS takes his vitamins, mummy brushes her teeth, DS brushes his teeth).

But he is usually pestering me to leave the house by 7am, I totally have the opposite problem.

Thank you for all these suggestions

Have already tried a few with some success (torch, counting wreaths, hot chocolate picnic etc) but I had run out of ideas and there’s so many great ones here.

I have literally gone through this list writing down suggestions and will pin them on the kitchen wall for inspiration for me and OH. I was definitely lacking ideas with all the covid restrictions in place and tedium of same playgrounds/city parks.

Fingers crossed we can avoid the morning wrestles with a bit of creativity.