Neighbours doing cry it out it's driving me mad

[Tangledtresses]

So neighbours first baby.... leaving it to cry every night for 2 plus hours
To the point where i can't put my son 6 to bed in his room...

He's slept in my bed for weeks now... as the baby who is now 11 months old screams till 10 pm every bloody night in the room next to his

It's driving me bonkers...
there house is for sale and sold so I hopefully hoping they will move soon

Should I say something?

Along the lines of I get it but it's not healthy leaving her to cry for 2 hours every night!!!

I hate this 'technique'. All they're teaching the baby is that no one cares enough to come when she's unhappy

But in view of the house being sold, I would only ask how the move's going/when they hope to complete. If it's still happening, I'd give it another couple of weeks.

No. Their next door neighbour’s opinion on the ‘healthiness’ or otherwise of their sleep training should be irrelevant to them. If you want to say something to them, just say honestly that you don’t like the noise and it’s making your DC bedtime hard. Don’t dress it up as passive-aggressive concern for whether it’s ‘healthy’.

A relative of mine got reported for a baby crying with colic so I suppose that's an option...

Tbh, yes I'd say something. They're leaving anyway. I would say it's really disturbing you and see what they say.

This doesn't sound like controlled crying/ cry it out. Sounds like they are just ignoring the baby for 2 hours? In which case that's neglectful and must be heartbreaking to listen to.

Aww the poor little thing. I don't know how people do this. I attempted cry it out with dd. I think I lasted about two minutes

Unless you are certain they are leaving the baby I would tread carefully. My DS cried for hours every night when I put him to sleep. I never once left him to cry by himself. But to my neighbours it may have sounded like I left him. Eventually he grew out of it. Hopefully your neighbours' baby will too.

Are you sure they are doing cry it out? Or are you assuming that because the baby is crying. I had a few weeks with one of my children where he cried every night for at least an hour, sometimes more before bed. I would be with him, holding him and he’d be fine all day. Just had a weird period of bedtime crying that we couldn’t seem to do anything about.

If you do know for certain they are doing cry it out, have you told them how much it is disturbing you?
Hopefully they might reconsider if they realise it is causing you an issue.

My DS is currently going through a phase of crying for 2 hours a night. We are in the room cuddling him, sssshing him but the cries continue. It may not be cry it out they are doing but the baby is up anyway.

Bang on the wall and shout “pick your fucking baby up and wash your nets you filthy cow”

Obviously don’t do that but it worked for someone I know!

@Bluesmartiesandpandapop

This doesn't sound like controlled crying/ cry it out. Sounds like they are just ignoring the baby for 2 hours? In which case that's neglectful and must be heartbreaking to listen to.

Cry it out is literally ignoring the cries for as long as it take for the baby to exhaust themselves...or give up hope if anyone coming in to help.

How do you know they are leaving the baby to cry it out? Unless they have told you they could be desperately trying to soothe him/her through colic.

I would find out of they are moving for definite before saying/reporting. We made the mistake of saying that the noise is bothering us and then resorting to council noise team and dear lord the repercussions are awful. Slashed tyres, egged car, mud and glass chucked at house. Verbal abuse. The only one where we have a witness/proof and apparently they haven't really broken any laws 🙄.

I really hope they are moving soon so you can get some normality back at bedtime

I would struggle listening to this and would be tempted to say something. Maybe ask how their baby is as you can hear them crying until late every night.

How would you actually know if they are checking in on the baby or not? They very well could be.

As others hve said please dont assume they are just leaving the baby to cry. My DS quite often cried for long periods during the night and nothing would console him.

Honestly if my neighbours had reported me assuming I was ignoring him and leaving him to cry it out all it would have done is made me feel 10 x more shit and useless than I already did.

@00100001

Well it's not meant to be! It's meant to be letting them cry for short periods of time like the Ferber method. Ignoring a distressed child for 2 + hours is not a parenting method. It's neglect

CIO is definitely about letting them just cry without intervention/response etc.

There are other methods where you might goin and reassure baby you're there etc,but CIO is just literally...cry it out... :(

How do you know they're leaving the baby? My DD went through a phase of crying for at least an hour every bedtime/night, despite our best efforts to console her. We would be rocking/shushing/cuddling her and she would still scream. Thankfully she grew out of it.

@Covidy

Bang on the wall and shout “pick your fucking baby up and wash your nets you filthy cow”

Obviously don’t do that but it worked for someone I know!

Ha ha No I won't do that

Thank you for your replies

I know they aren't in there with her because the walls are like paper....

It's excruciating to listen to... so I've moved my son into the spare room for now. He slept well last night sanity restored!!

They are nice people and I really feel for them having a baby in lockdown with no one to help out, I won't say anything unless it gets worse.. but the last few nights have been better 😅

Bang on the wall and shout “pick your fucking baby up and wash your nets you filthy cow”

Ah yes, washing net curtains. True women's work.

@tangledtresses parent may be in there but whispering to the baby. I know I certainly keep my voice as quiet as possible when I'm trying to comfort my baby at bedtime.

What the walls are so paper thin that you can see through them?! 🙄
You have no idea if they are doing cry it out, you’ve made a massive judgmental assumption.
If the noise is such an issue then very carefully and diplomatically have a kind word with them. Offer empathy and support.

No she's not in there as I can hear them talking in the living room!
I can hear the stairs/floor creaking if someone is up there...

I honestly think they are just inexperienced and are leaving her to cry

Last night she only cried for 15 minutes

Fingers crossed!!

I know they aren't in there with her because the walls are like paper....

That still doesn't mean they are not in there with her. They won't be making much noise by patting her back, rocking her, cuddling her, shushing her etc plus if anything surely you're much less likely to hear them over the crying.

I appreciate it's not pleasant to listen to but it still seems like a massive leap to assume that they are just leaving their child to cry for 2 hours without intervention.