My boyfriend loves to make our baby jump

[Nonymous1]

He finds it absolutely hilarious to make our 8 month olds baby jump. He does it in a playful way, out of nowhere he'll shout "boop" super loud and we'll both jump out of our skin. DS does find it funny sometimes, but not every time and he's jumped so much he's cried before. If it was once in a while I probably wouldn't mind but he does it like every day and I'm starting to worry about the long term affects it could have on DS.
He has just now promised to stop doing it, but I'm so mad. DS will be drifting off to sleep and he'll make him jump. I hate it and he finds it so entertaining. Is he just being a man? Is this a dad thing? Or am I just worrying too much 🙈

Was thinking it was just messing about but to do it to him when he's falling asleep is just pure mean. As a pp has stated do it to him just as he's drifting off in bed, bet he won't find it so funny

What a vile excuse for a man. Have a serious conversation with him, what the fuck else will he do?

@Mischance

Oh God - I really cannot stand this sort of thing. Cannot bear people who get a kick out of teasing little ones just because they can. I have watched the "other" grandparent of GC do this and I have steam coming out of my ears. It is a just a power trip for insecure people.

This sort of teasing usually ends in tears.

FFS nip this in the bud before it becomes a recurring pattern.

Grrrrr.

I really agree with Mischance, this is just bullying. Stand up for your baby and stop this behaviour now.

What a knob! That’s so cruel!!

I was continuously made to jump as a child now I'm generally pretty jumpy, If somebody comes up to me,including at work I jump out if my skin and scream. Horrible.

Meant comes up to me and dont I hear them!

"Cruel", "disturbing", "abusive".
Do you hear yourselves? Christ on a bike. He's just trying to have a laugh with the baby, albeit in a slightly misguided way.

You've told him to pack it in. He's said he will. Move on.

@Ijustreallywantacat

"Cruel", "disturbing", "abusive". Do you hear yourselves? Christ on a bike. He's just trying to have a laugh with the baby, albeit in a slightly misguided way.

You've told him to pack it in. He's said he will. Move on.

Of course it’s cruel, if someone is drifting off to sleep it’s never nice to be jerked awake on purpose is it? Having a laugh with a baby is playing peekaboo or blowing raspberries on their tummies, not startling them when they’re almost asleep,

I had this with my newborn, from my BIL although not sure it was intentional, the memory of it is still there and DS is now 31. He pulled a sweep puppet (sooty and sweep) out of nowhere and said BOO, my DS little face crumple up and he cried for ages. It is horrible especially if its intentional

What a horrid and vile thing to do.

Wtf? Who does that?! No, a dad thing to do would be to make their baby laugh. A cruel and shitty thing to do is make a baby frightened.

Just wondering whether DP might be a bit of a gender-sterotyper misguidedly trying to toughen up his DS? Would he be doing this to a DD?

It wants nipping in the bud which hopefully it has been. If he ever tries it again, wait until he is sound asleep, creep up in him, shine a torch or bright lamp in his face while yelling "Wake up!" a centimetre from his ear.

See how he likes a taste of his own macho joke. You never see women doing this stuff to babies. Or I never have. Men, yes, a dozen or more, but each of them only once...

Determined to teach a baby not to be such a baby, eh?!

Of course it’s cruel, if someone is drifting off to sleep it’s never nice to be jerked awake on purpose is it? Having a laugh with a baby is playing peekaboo or blowing raspberries on their tummies, not startling them when they’re almost asleep.

No its not nice. Perhaps cruel on its on own I might give you, though I'd roll my eyes. I hate seeing the word abusive rolled out when it's not warranted at all.

He (presumably) meant no harm. He's just remembering all the times the baby responded positively and taken it a bit too far. I just don't know why there's the pile on. Hes said he won't do it again. What good is there in holding grudges and picking at one another all the time.

Awful.
Will teach the baby a fear response and you'll be left trying to undo the trauma when he can't relax to drift off to sleep
Peek a boo is a different sort of making jump that babies do usually find hilarious and that's entertaining for the adults
What you describe is just fucking cruel

It's not because "he is a man"

It's because "he is a bully"

Maybe suggest instead of doing it like that, he plays peekaboo with a tea towel or similar over his or the baby's head? I'm not a parent but from my albeit limited experience babies often find that funny.

Totally wrong behaviour from your partner, he gets enjoyment out of scaring an 8 month old, this could easily get worse if he feels some sort of control out of scaring him, be very careful!

I don't think that's right. Also when babies laugh hysterically it's not always because they're happy IMO. Some of the YouTube videos I've seen of babies laughing uncontrollably make me uncomfortable, I think it's a nervous reaction sometimes (obviously not all the time).

I would pour water on him while he's asleep and shout boo!

What a horrible thing to do.
Sounds like a bully. Picking on a little baby.
If he does it again after being told not to I’d not be wanting him near the baby.

Definitely not just a dude thing. I do this with my little one and she thinks its hysterical. I wouldn't do it if it made her cry though - doing it when baby is about to fall asleep isn't very nice but you've told him to stop, he said he will, so I'd just let it go and hand his arse to him on a plate if he does it again.

is he a bit thick?

If you think of a baby like a blind person (no spatial awareness, reliant on other people for protection) you’ll see that the newborn startle response of flinging their arms out is a horrible thing for them.
So don’t do it.
OK?

I think making the baby jump is fine. If it cries, then stop. He’s said he’ll stop, so that’s the end of it. I don’t think you need to make more of it than that.

When he wakes up the baby as he's falling asleep, who then has to calm him down and resettle him? I'm betting not the bullying boyfriend. So he's not just being a twat to your son, he's being a twat to you too.