When do babies get easier?

[Amygcad]

So I had my first baby 18 weeks ago yesterday. Before this I thought I wanted three children, currently I don’t think I want anymore. She’s so difficult, first two weeks were amazing and then she started to have lots of symptoms and basically I couldn’t put her down for ten weeks due to silent reflux and cmpa. Any way at 12 weeks we were prescribed formula and milk thickener and things were rosy again for around 4 weeks. Since 16 weeks every day is hard again and I’m just so fed up. I love her to bits but I’m just wishing the time away hoping things get easier as she gets older. She fights naps like hell so she’s pretty much always miserable 😭 she cries a lot. Don’t get me wrong I do get smiles and we get the occasional giggle but most of the time I’m creeping around her hoping I don’t upset her. I also feel like I spend every single day all day just trying to make her nap... please tell me things get more enjoyable soon?

When they leave home?

The early years are quite full-on because they are so dependent on you for everything. From about 3 - 10 it's a lot easier and even mostly fun. Tweens are slightly challenging. Teens a nightmare - so much so that you'll wonder what you found tough about babyhood.

Then you are amazed they turn out to be such lovely, charming adults.

I couldn't read and not reply, although it's been a while since I had a baby that young! It's so tough when you have a baby with reflux or other issues that make them grumpy. Have dairy/lactose issues been ruled out? My youngest had a dairy allergy (which she later grew out of) that made her miserable. She was literally a different child once her formula was changed. I did find as well that I was too focused on getting her to sleep - some babies just don't need as much. Take heart that this isn't forever, even if it feels like it now.

I have a 3 and 6 year old and often wonder the same.

As PP has said, I have been told it’ll be around when they are 18

When they go on to solids. My youngest had awful reflux and was my most difficult baby. I think he was around 5 months when I started weaning and he improved straight away and it helped with his sleep too.

It does get easier! Solids will help, as will sitting up and being able play a bit more. Yes there are other challenges to come, but personally the young baby bit is one of the toughest. Certainly if you have a baby experiencing loads of discomfort, then as that improves, life will be so much easier!

I think it’s always going to be hard, just in different ways!

My second baby was an absolute nightmare. People kept telling me everything would settle down by 6 months but it never did! However now that she is 1 it is a lot more rewarding because we are starting to see her little personality coming through and she can walk and talk a bit.

My son is nearly 3 and is becoming a grumpy little shit so I guess that’s the next challenge for us to deal with!

My daughter got easier at three months when she discovered her thumb and managed to settle herself.
Then they got easier once they were toilet trained. Then easier when they could talk and understand things. Then better when they went to school. Then better when they could get themselves up and dressed. Then easier when they could be left at home alone. Then suddenly you are not taking care of them physically but emotionally. Sex, drink, exams, friendship crisis, self esteem issues, anger issues, heartbreak, grade failure, drugs, motorbike accident, career decisions and on and on and on.
Bringing up kids is unbelievably hard. But the first couple years is mainly physical. As long as your baby is in good health you have to get through it. Ages 4 to 7 are the golden years. Then they get all prepubescent and they go from hero worship to telling you you are stirring your coffee wrong!
Hang in there, take all the help you can get, and talk to someone if you need to.

I think they don't get easier but they do get better! I hated the newborn stage so much and have loved it since about 1 (he's now 2.5) - he's not really easier now, probably harder in some ways, but he's so much more fun, interesting and rewarding. Little babies are so boring that I felt the effort to reward ratio was very off!

I found it got a bit better at 6 months, a lot better at 9 months (though only because that was when we did some gentle sleep training) and then lots better still at about a year when he started walking. I also thought that going down to one nap a day improved things considerably as, like you, it was always a battle and doing it multiple times a day was so draining.

I'd say about 5-6 months when you can sit them in the floor with a few toys and they entertain themselves for a little while.
There is a sleep regression at 16 weeks so could be that with the napping. Download the huckleberry app and enter your baby's sleep times and it will give wake windows and times next nap is due. It does help and you get a little routine going.
I have a 20 month and an 8 month so I know how you feel but it's does get better

My son is nearly 2 years old and I felt exactly the same as you in the early days. I couldn't imagine how anyone would cope having another. It didn't help that a family member had a baby a few months earlier who slept through from 4 weeks and barely ever cried!! Fast forward to now, I honestly can't believe how much he has changed and is such a happy and loving boy.
The days of fighting naps, colic and rough nights will end sooner than you think. I know that may not provide comfort now, but just give it time.

When they sleep through the night so you have more sleep it is better. As you are more rested and can cope better with the other stuff.

But there are always stages that make you ask 'When will it be easier?' Throughout childhood and teenage years.

I found my first so so hard. He had reflux, rarely slept. I just didn't enjoy any of it. When I found out I was expecting my second I was surprisingly relaxed. I knew that even if he was difficult at least I wasn't in for a shock. Baby number 2 actually turned out to be a doddle and even slept through from 3 weeks old!
11-14 years was hard but I am having trouble free teenagers now. I love it. I am aware everything could change but life is peaceful for the time being

It will get easier, but exactly when depends on the child and their circumstances, and your preferences too.

With my DD, sleep was always an issue. But she started developing routines at about 5 months, and that made it more predictable. She also became better at napping in her pram at that age, which gabe me a bit of a break. But she didn’t link sleep cycles for naps until she was about 15 months old, and to start with she needed a lot of help for it e.g. feeding back to sleep or motion. Her naps were basically pretty disastrous for a long time! It was bliss when she was about 2 and was finally taking a 2 - 2.5 hour nap either in the pram or on the sofa. Loved it! Some kids are pretty crap nappers I’m afraid. Makes sense in my case - I’m useless at taking a nap, even if I’m exhausted, and I wake up feeling worse.

My DD is 4 now and I’d say I’m in the golden period.

Things get much easier when they start to communicate, so there’s less guesswork for what’s wrong. I don’t mean you have to wait for proper spoken language, when they can point or do simple gestures it really helps. I think this was about 9 months (but I can’t really remember).

Mobility makes things easier in some ways and harder in others. They are more content and able to entertain themselves, but can also get into more mischief. If you’re able to baby proof in advance I’d say it makes things much easier, but some say it’s harder because you can’t leave them on a playmat and expect them to stay there while you nip to the loo. It’s all about preparation - if you don’t overuse playpens/high chairs etc then they retain enough novelty value to be used when you need them!

I’m always amazed by those that say it doesn’t get easier, it just becomes differently hard. Seriously??? I currently have newborn twins and they totally dominate my life. There’s absolutely no way it can possibly stay this tough or nobody would ever survive having twins!

I had a very unsettled baby with reflux and I remember it getting easier at 6 months when she could sit up and was eating solids. I also found 9 months another step change. The final hurdle for me was walking independently, which she mastered at around 14 months. I find everything easier and more enjoyable with a toddler, but not enough to contemplate doing it all again!

The first is usually difficult as you are still learning. Even worse if you have a difficult baby. I had this. She Fought sleep and cried easily. However, time goes fast. She didn’t get easier until she was 4, as in 4 years old! By then I already had another (who didn’t get easier until age 5. My first two are 20 months apart. It was tough. Waited a few years until I finally had my third. Now I’m contemplating a 4th!!!

Have u tried infant gaviscon. It was game changer for my ds.

I found the first year pretty awful tbh (newborn stage in particular was just hideous with both my kids). My DD didn’t sleep through until 10 months, so when she finally did it was a game changer. Getting some sleep and returning to work gave me some ‘me time’ again which I really needed. I then found 12-18 months really fun. Terrible twos/threenager have been a challenge but I really enjoy her company now she’s 3 and just love her so much, she has me in stitches most days with the things she comes out with. She goes to nursery so I’m not with her all the time (I’m currently on maternity leave with DS) so I appreciate the time with her more. I couldn’t be a SAHM it would be my worst nightmare

DS is 6 months old now and also does not sleep so I’m eagerly awaiting the night this changes. I find the first year is much more physically exhausting whereas as they get older the difficulties switch to more mental and emotional. But I’m only 3 years into parenting so I could be talking rubbish

I've 9 month old twins.

I found the first 4 months very hard (no routine, awake all night).
Month 5 was a golden month - they started having a 2 hour nap, and weren't on solids yet so I didn't have to bother with cooking.
Months 6,7 were ok - weaning went fine, but they still fed twice at night.
Month 8 I gradually stopped the night feeds.
Month 9 is fun, but now I'm back at work, so don't see them so much.

So in summary, after 4 months it was generally ok.

Sounds really tough OP. I found different ages bring different challenges. When they're tiny, it's exhausting and relentless, a never ending treadmill of bodily fluids, feeding, sleeping and crying. I found after 6 months was decidedly more enjoyable than before 6 months. Toddlers are more fun IMO but there's nothing like massive tantrum in the middle of Aldi to remind you that you're out of your depth.

Everyone has different experiences.

For me, I found newborn stage fine, but got v easy around 3-6m, then more difficult progressively until maybe 2.5-3ish, then a gradual improvement.

If you are after a sympathetic answer, I'd say that it gets different and there are different challenges, and what you are struggling with right now won't last, and perhaps you'll find some of the next challenges easier.

If it's an honest but fair answer you are after I'd say that it may get better soon, it may not. It may get worse before it gets better, or get better and then worse again. But you get more experienced so will cope better.

18? Haha! Nope. I've a 27 year old and it's still hard work at times

Seriously though, it'll get easier. It really will. The 27 year old was a very difficult baby who couldn't be put down for the first three months and turned into a horrendous, tantruming toddler. Child number two was a dream, such an easy baby and toddler who didn't cause a minute's bother until he hit his teens. We won't talk about his teens. Then we had baby number three who was a different kettle of fish altogether.

All you can do is go with the flow and enjoy/endure each day as it comes

I found between 1-6 months easiest apart from being sleep deprived. 6 months to 21 months right now is very challenging. The teething, getting more mobile, weaning, walking, climbing, tantrums sometimes and running off and being naughty is more challenging right now. My lo is still napping in the afternoons and I have to be indoors as the lo never sleeps in a pushchair so we must be at home which restricts my day. In the summer it was ok as we had longer days but now, I have a window between 9am-1pm where I have to get everything done in if I'm outdoors. From 12pm, the moaning, the whinging and crying for nothing starts building up though and then when the lo wakes up at 3pm, it's already getting dark. I so look forward to the terrible twos and potty training!

I personally think every step is easier than the last. The people who find toddlers more tricky than babies tend to have had easier babies. My eldest was a nightmare baby and honestly became more and more lovely at every step. I was still tired at 4/5 months but she could interact more which made her much more fun to be around. And by one she was just brilliant. She’s now a sulky teen and that has its own issues but nothing could ever be as tough IMO as the utter relentless exhaustion of having a difficult baby.

The first year is the hardest op.
Youll get through it. We all did. But yeah it is goddamn hard. But worth it 😊

Thank you for all of your replies from the sounds of it I’m in for a long rough ride. I’m just feeling drained really, trying to get her into a nap routine and it’s slowly working. I’ve realised this week is much better than last but the routine means that I can’t ever go anywhere as she needs a nap every 1hr 45minutes and feeding in that time too as she only takes between 1-4 ounces at a time. She won’t nap on the go because she’s too nosy so if I go anywhere I risk ruining our day with a grumpy baby. I wish I could just accept things for what they are and feeling a bit happier, right now I could cry at any moment if I think too much.