When do babies get easier?

[Amygcad]

So I had my first baby 18 weeks ago yesterday. Before this I thought I wanted three children, currently I don’t think I want anymore. She’s so difficult, first two weeks were amazing and then she started to have lots of symptoms and basically I couldn’t put her down for ten weeks due to silent reflux and cmpa. Any way at 12 weeks we were prescribed formula and milk thickener and things were rosy again for around 4 weeks. Since 16 weeks every day is hard again and I’m just so fed up. I love her to bits but I’m just wishing the time away hoping things get easier as she gets older. She fights naps like hell so she’s pretty much always miserable 😭 she cries a lot. Don’t get me wrong I do get smiles and we get the occasional giggle but most of the time I’m creeping around her hoping I don’t upset her. I also feel like I spend every single day all day just trying to make her nap... please tell me things get more enjoyable soon?

It will get better soon. Honestly, people who have easy babies have no idea how hard this part can be. My DSis was one of those people telling me it would be tough for a while but that was because she had an easy baby and had a different basis for comparison. You are doing an incredible job under the most difficult of circumstances and it is completely normal to be exhausted and tearful. There is light at the end of the tunnel and soon!!

Round-a-bout 18 when the start University

I have an eight month old DS and have found it hard going, even though (from what friends tell me) he’s a relatively easy baby. You mention routines - I used to stress a lot about that part, I think because I desperately wanted some semblance of order and normality back in my life. I remember reading some advice on MN saying babies would just fall into a routine naturally and thinking my DS never would, because his naps were all over the place. But those posters were absolutely right - from about 6-6.5 months he really settled down and found his routine, to the point where I now know (give or take half an hour or so) when he’s going to go down each day and broadly how the day will pan out. It has been a revelation!

I have struggled with weaning though - from six months (just as naps began to improve for me) starting them on solids comes into the equation and it’s a whole new challenge. One meal a day was manageable enough but now he’s on two and I’m finding the constant cooking and cleaning up quite relentless, especially as he’s still on four milk feeds. It feels like he’s constantly eating and drinking. He will be moving onto three meals very soon so that will be another step up. But as the milk feeds decrease and he really masters solids it will hopefully get easier again... until the next challenge comes along!

@VashtaNerada

It will get better soon. Honestly, people who have easy babies have no idea how hard this part can be. My DSis was one of those people telling me it would be tough for a while but that was because she had an easy baby and had a different basis for comparison. You are doing an incredible job under the most difficult of circumstances and it is completely normal to be exhausted and tearful. There is light at the end of the tunnel and soon!!

This is so true - my DD was very similar to yours as a newborn OP, she was just constantly miserable and if she was awake she was almost always crying. She’s 13 months now and is still not ‘easy’ but it’s a million times better than when she was tiny. My friends with easy babies have struggled more with the toddler stage but for me nothing can be worse than a screaming, colicky newborn. We tried all the usual things with DD, reflux meds, me cutting out food, but none of it worked and she gradually settled down after about 5-6 months, hopefully you should start to find it easier soon.

Easier when we started solids. Easier again when he started crawling (he was quite late) but really, I started enjoying DS about 18 mo when he was mobile, had some language and, possibly not coincidentally, stopped BF in the day.
Then more again after nightweaning.

He's 3 and a half now and honestly, we're in a good place as a family. He's mostly a polite, good natured boy and will sometimes play for hours by himself. He will tidy up, a bit, sets the table for dinner, can explain what he wants and is only in a nappy overnight. He gives wonderful cuddles (although less of those now), fewer and fewer tantrums unless overtired and mostly sleeps through.

But he's still going to be an only child

@VashtaNerada

It's equally that those who say babies are tough perhaps had one that slept as a toddler, and was an easy toddler.

I don't think we should kick people when they are down, but I don't like this blatant lie (and most people who I've discussed this with IRL admit it's a lie, and one they use) that babies just get easier. That helps parents initially, but when their baby gets tougher, they worry what they've done wrong.

My babies weren't easy. My second was very much the 'i need to be on you and will scream if there isn't a boob' variety, was very colicky in the evenings etc. But at nearly 2, she still doesn't sleep through, and a lot of the time sleeps worse than she did as a newborn. The other night she wascon boob for 4 hours straight in the middle of the night, and screamed when I tried to take it away, repeatedly. And then there's work to juggle, and their needs in the day are much more complex, they nap less, and they create mess everywhere they go.

I put make up on with a baby, I straightened my hair. I baked cakes. I dozed during some naps, tidied during others and watched box sets. I drank hot drinks and cooked nice lunches for myself. The nearest I get to a box set now is a duggee episode whilst I try to blitz the place, as otherwise they untidy faster than you tidy, and I sometimes just grab a biscuit as don't have time to get proper meals for myself. There is no enjoying a cuppa whilst they kick about on the mat any more, or leisurely tidying whilst they are in the sling.

It's a different challenge, and not everyone finds toddlers hard, and some toddlers sleep, which really helps.

I would say things really do get easier from 5/6 months. Hopefully they're sleeping a bit longer, can be distracted and entertain themselves for small chunks etc. You've definitely made it through the hardest bit so feel proud of yourself that you've made it this far.

I completely agree @Popgoesthebubble and sorry if I didn’t make that clear. If your baby was ‘easy’ the next phase may be hard; if your baby is ‘tricky’ the chances are you’ll enjoy the next stage much more.

I think it depends on not just relative 'easiness' of baby/toddler but also your personality - DS was probably quite an average baby (though a crap sleeper) but I just hated being stuck under him while he either fed or slept all day and found having a newborn was like being under house arrest (and everything that I could do was a crap version of life before baby - yes, I could go for a walk with him in the sling but it's not as good as going for a walk without a baby on your chest!). But I knew other women who thought snuggling on the sofa all day in front of Netflix was bliss. Neither of those are better or worse, just different, but for me I'm much better suited to toddlers than to little babies, some women are the opposite and it doesn't make one objectively easier than the other.

DS was a hideous baby until about 6 months, also had silent reflux etc. I think I just got used to him really but he did sleep well from 4 months so I felt like I could deal with him the day even though he only ever took 30 minute naps, because I was fairly well rested.
He’s 21 months now and generally a dream. I’m still not having any more - no idea why people go through it more than once 😂
They’re all different though, that’s the thing!