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Do women really prefer daughters??

88 replies

zebra · 25/09/2002 14:21

After the news item on the front page of mumsnet. [But I can't get to it because I can't seem to log in (I have 7 email addresses & 5 usual passwords, and can't face trying all the combos).]

Anyway, we have the only girl on DH's side of the family (5 boys and 2 more on the way). Honestly I just want 'em healthy, but some friends have told me how much they really wanted a DD and it gives me the creeps.

[Part of the situation for me is I had a dreadful relationship with my mother who always wanted with me the relationship she didn't have with her own mother.]

And plenty of moms have told me that girls are sulkier as teens.

Why the obsession with DDs?
What's wrong with boys?

OP posts:
Willow2 · 27/09/2002 22:21

www - i'd take sharp and shitty....

bossykate · 28/09/2002 13:55

lol, Willow2!

i recently had toddler nightmares, but things have calmed down somewhat thank goodness! hope things get better for you soon too.

met one of the dads from our nct class at the park the other day. made some idle tongue in cheek comment about not knowing when you've got it easy when they're new borns (i.e. compared to when they become toddlers). he said, "oh, do you find it hard then?" hmmm - think we can guess how much input he usually has at home can't we? well, he is mr competitive dad so of course their child is a super advanced angel...

bitch, bitch, bitch!!!

Eulalia · 28/09/2002 16:12

I have 'one of each' (which always makes me think of a chocolate selection box) and have lost count of the number of times people have said how "lucky" I am and even "how clever" I am. Also apparently I was lucky at having my boy first as he could be a 'big brother' and protect his little sister. Even the age gap between them (2yrs, 9 mos) was seen as being 'nice'.

I didn't care with both pregnancies what sex the baby was. I thought no 1 was a girl for some reason but wasn't surprised/bothered to have a boy. I was quite happy to have another boy and was happy that I had a girl only because she was so healthy. Also it did please me a bit that it annoyed one friend who has 2 boys and couldn't understand why I didn't actively want a girl. She was sooo jealous! Also mother was pleased as she is short of granddaughters.

I must admit the girly thing does frighten me a little but maybe she might like her brothers toys. Also as for girls being whingers, well I can't comment yet but I know my 3 year old can whinge for Scotland!

Azzie · 28/09/2002 20:33

www, can't say that I'm finding dd easier than ds - quite the opposite actually .

Rhubarb · 28/09/2002 20:37

Custardo - you wanting your hair all pretty as a child? Wanting a pony? Hah!

Bozza · 28/09/2002 21:04

I'm a little bit shame-faced but I thought I was going to have a girl (and was willing the baby to be a girl) because - wait for it - my MIL was convinced her first grandchild would be a boy. Childish? What me? It just wound me up the way she kept referring to my baby as "he" so automatically. Of course she was right. Pah! But in the overwhelming emotion of giving birth I forgave DS. And of course next time (if I can ever persuade DH that there should be a next time) she will be expecting a girl so I, of course, will be hoping for a second boy!!! So motherhood does not appear to have helped me to grow up

tigermoth · 28/09/2002 21:34

Bozza, I know where you're coming from. There's nothing like someone assuming they know the sex of your baby for you to wish the opposite.

A few hours ago, I briefly joined dh and one of my son's old teachers (male) who were having a quiet drink together. On hearing that our oldest ds had been less than good at his cubs activity camp that day, the teacher said 'I bet you wish you'd had girls' OK ironically, but still...

Tortington · 28/09/2002 22:07

Rhuby - erm. no not me, mi little girl , dont know where i went wrong - she is all girly! despite the two boys.... yuk!

sb34 · 29/09/2002 01:35

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rozzy · 29/09/2002 20:14

This reply has been deleted

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susanmt · 30/09/2002 00:07

Eulalia - my dd whinges for Scotland too - can we have a competition?

LiamsMum · 30/09/2002 00:25

Custardo I loved your analogy of boys - very well said! (And so true). I too wanted a girl but ended up with a boy (he will be my only child too), and now I love him to bits. He is always happy, gives us lots of hugs & kisses, and is even affectionate towards other little children. The only thing I feel I will miss out on, is perhaps the 'closeness' later on that you can have with a daughter - I guess I'll have to pray that I get a wonderful daughter-in-law! But otherwise I'm comfortable with boys and I'm glad I've got my son now.

zebra · 30/09/2002 04:43

I guess that's just it; I'm not sure we do know where girls are coming from, just because we're girls, too. That's what my mom expected and she was sorely disappointed in me not being the little girl she wanted.

I think it's easier with boys because I know that I don't understand them, or where they're coming from. [DH & DS share a passion for sticks, balls, and anything with wheels on it!] Then I don't have any prejudices about how my boy "should" behave, and I can just let him be the way he is. I'm really glad I had the boy first, because it means I've lost a lot of those expectations about sharing interests with either child, and I can just take things as they come. For instance, it seems like DD might be the sporty child -- she's very coordinated & could kick a ball almost as soon as she could walk!

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