To those of you who cosleep...

[GlenQuagmire]

Can you tell me about it? I think I need to do it but I am absolutely terrified. I Have read that SIDS affects boys more and babies 2-4 months, which he falls into. But he wasn’t premature,
I don’t smoke or drink alcohol and I’m not a heavy sleeper. I’ll clear the bed of any bedding. But I’m so scared and would never forgive myself if something happened, but I am not sleeping at all and I am starting to get ill.

Can you tell me your experiences, both good and bad? Thanks

The way I saw it op is that of all the animals that raise their young, humans are the only ones that don’t routinely cosleep. It just doesn’t make sense not to from a biological point of view as far as I’m concerned, as long as you take all the right precautions.

I have always sat/laid back on pillows and slept helping dc where they were little as i breastfeed. Make sure my arm is supported by a pillow and they wear an owlet sock monitor it’s the only way it worked for us

Holding not helping

This has always intrigued me. To those who have co slept how are you comfortable without pillows or a duvet? And how can you co sleep safely if your baby is in the side crib, as there isn't enough room for your arm to go round the baby which prevents you rolling on them? And how is it comfortable to only be able to sleep facing one way?

I coslept and found it impossible for the reasons listen above. Getting comfortable to sleep meant making my baby unsafe.

I co slept, not by choice

I didn’t only sleep facing one way. When I turned over I took the baby with me. I never decided to do this, it just happened, I’d scoop them up and roll over with them on my belly and swap sides for breastfeeding to settle them on the other side. Because for my babies co sleeping meant all night nipple attachment.

I had a duvet it was just waist down. I needed my boobs out anyway. I had a pillow, obviously baby didn’t. They were always below my curved arm, which was below my pillow. And always very close to me, because of the above mentioned nipples.

It was a different kind of sleep. A lighter kind. It was better than no sleep.

I fell asleep feeding my baby in my arms sat upright in a chair once. It was terrifying, I have never fallen asleep accidentally before that day or since that day.

If you breastfeed on demand, baby was full term and weighed at least 6 pounds at birth, you don’t smoke / drink / do drugs, have genetic factors for sids then the risk is miniscule. I should point out half of my family have risk factors for sudden death which is fairly common where they are in India & the local advice is to co-sleep in the same bed for as long as possible (the traditional Indian way is to sleep next to the baby but on a different bed). There the risk of dying in their sleep increases as children get older because co-sleeping seems to protect them. In India mattresses are firm and bedding is minimal (and rooms tend to be cooled with fans / air con) so if you follow that it should be ok.

@ChanklyBore

I co slept, not by choice

I didn’t only sleep facing one way. When I turned over I took the baby with me. I never decided to do this, it just happened, I’d scoop them up and roll over with them on my belly and swap sides for breastfeeding to settle them on the other side. Because for my babies co sleeping meant all night nipple attachment.

I had a duvet it was just waist down. I needed my boobs out anyway. I had a pillow, obviously baby didn’t. They were always below my curved arm, which was below my pillow. And always very close to me, because of the above mentioned nipples.

It was a different kind of sleep. A lighter kind. It was better than no sleep.

I fell asleep feeding my baby in my arms sat upright in a chair once. It was terrifying, I have never fallen asleep accidentally before that day or since that day.

I co-sleep like this too. When you breastfeed it is instinct to move the baby with you when you turn even when you’re asleep. I also replaced my duvet to a thin 2 tog one and kept baby in a vest, just in case I managed to tuck him in but I never did - I just moved him around in my sleep.

Coslept with both DC from birth, best decision ever. Initially kicked out DP and baby took over DP's half of king size bed. Bed tucked up to wall / corner of room. Then, moved DC to side cot clamped to bed.

Mybrowneyedgal I don’t find it comfortable. But it was more comfortable than no sleep at all, and safer than falling asleep sitting up in a chair. I don’t understand the bit about the side crib because I think most of us are talking about sharing the same sleep surface. I had a bedside cot for both of mine but only one was happy in it for any length of time, and when the baby was in the cot I still had covers and pillow but was able to keep them away from them easily

Congratulations

Problem is every baby who has sadly died whilst sleeping with the parent, planned or otherwise, comes into the ‘co sleep’ category.

Mammals have slept with their young since the dawn of time, it’s not unusual. What is unusual is having thick blankets, medications/alcohol, sofas/chairs/pillows around the baby which can choke/suffocate them.

I have co slept since around 10 days old, DC just hates being on his own to sleep and I’m fine with that. I have a tiny pillow that is only big enough for my head. I have taken my duvet out of the cover and wear thick pjs. I slide into said single duvet cover like a sleeping bag. DC is in a grobag suitable for the room temp. We have a king sized bed and a Chico n2m attached so he can’t roll off, not that he wants to be anywhere other than next to me. We’re all comfy and have enough room with this setup and I can slide a boob in when he wants his night feeds and then we both just drift off to sleep when he’s finished.

Sitting up in a chair/holding him on the bed/carrying them around is much much more dangerous when you’re extremely tired than planning to sleep together and removing risks from suffocation. Whilst your bfing the risk is lower already because they are able to wake easier from sleep in the first place.

Still co sleeping at 4 years here. Wish I'd done it with my eldest too for that extra snuggly closeness! If you're bf then you'll be super receptive to baby, even when you're sleeping.

I had a duvet it was just waist down. I needed my boobs out anyway. I had a pillow, obviously baby didn’t. They were always below my curved arm, which was below my pillow. And always very close to me, because of the above mentioned nipples.

This was what I did too. Bed guard on my side of the bed. You don’t sleep heavily, because you are really aware of the baby throughout the night, but you get much more sleep in total. I had a warm bed jacket (like a very short dressing gown) which was warm but allowed easy boob access.

There are studies that show being next to the breastfeeding mother actually regulates baby’s breathing.

It’s not safe to fall asleep accidentally with the baby. But you’re in a different state of awareness/relaxation when you’re bedsharing in a planned way. Its hard to explain but it is not like sleep where you’re unconscious. It’s more like when you’re having a nap in an otherwise busy room or drop off in front of the TV but you’re still sort of aware of the works around you.

It's safer to set up your bed for cosleeping than to fall asleep accidentally and do unplanned cosleeping, especially in a sofa or rocking chair, which is very risky. So I'd encourage you to see it as a risk management strategy.

Baby should be wearing light clothing and never swaddled. Grobags are ok as long as not too thick.

Place them next to you on a flat surface eg the mattress, not on top of the duvet or pillow or the crook of your arm.

Ensure they can't roll out of bed or into any gaps eg between bed and wall. I find a Co sleeper cot is the easiest solution to this - you can convert most Cots. If you buy one second hand instead, check the website for any updated safety warnings and that the parts included match the manual.

Face towards baby or I would roll onto my back away from them if I needed more space. Duvet at your back. You can put cellular blankets over both of you if you want to.

We coslept from day 1 (there is a picture of us both asleep in the hospital bed!)

I used to put him so his head was below the pillow and tuck the covers between my legs.

There are actually lots of long term benefits to cosleeping! My hips started to hurt so every now and again my dh would sleep in the spare room so we had more space but I loved it.... missed him loads when he went into his own room

I cosleep with mine, but in a way I've not seen suggested anywhere. Basically, i used to sleep on my side with her, the way I saw it done in guidelines. Then one time i woke with my arm dangerously near her face, and i had rolled. Now i sleep on my stomach, one arm tucked around her, other down by my side. Because my arm is around her i wake as soon as she stirs, since im on my stomach i cant roll over, and i always wake up exactly how i slept. I sleep with my face at the same level as hers or below so if a duvet or something somehow came too close I would know. It works for me, albeit it's a bit odd sleeping on the stomach i can imagine for others. Just food for thought, might work for you!