Three year old won’t write.

[NLW08]

My daughter is 3 and a half and absolutely refuses to write. She hates holding a pen (she seems to be left handed) and flat out will not learn to write her name. Is this bad at her age or should I not worry? I’m not concerned about her intelligence she’s very good at maths and is starting to try and read, her teachers have said she’s very bright. Its just writing she’s adamant is a no go and I’m trying not to get frustrated but other children we know her age are all writing their names.

The only worry at that age is that someone pressurises her and makes it something she is anxious about. That may already be happening by the sound of your post. Pressure at that age especially is so damaging. Take a big step back.

I think at that age it's just about Mark making. So any means of making any mark on a surface. Does she play with rubber stampers or paint sponges? Does she play with clay or kinetic sand?

I wouldn't be worried about not writing her name and would take the pressure off - my 4yo can't yet and I won't be concerned for a few more months at least, she's not alone in this at her daycare either. Will your DD pick up pens and pencils and draw though? If she won't do that either I would look into it more...

She's too young.

I am sure mine were not writing their names at the age of 3. Maybe 4 I can’t remember. They also really didn’t like holding pencils and preferred crayons.

My son is 4 and started reception in September. He was completely uninterested in painting/drawing/writing etc. He's also left handed and his grip wasn't good.

After nearly a term at school, can write his name, happily practicing writing letters and words at home by choice.

I wouldn't worry.

Please chill out. Will she draw, use a paintbrush, squiggle with water on the side of the bath, play with sand? Then you're ok.

I think it’s meant to be more about mark making in general at that age.

If she’s happy to do stuff like scribble with pencils / crayons / chalk etc, paint - either with a brush or finger paint - then I wouldn’t worry about her trying to write letters just yet.

They're all different. My son didn't hold a chunky pencil until he was 5. My daughter got it aged 3.

As others have said , it's all about basic mark making. Encourage this , but don't pressure a child to do something they're not ready for yet.

She is 3. Encourage her to draw and colour in if she wants to. Look at funky finger activities

My DD was exactly the same at 3.5 and preschool were quite pressuring about it. A year later, in Reception, she’s totally ready and the difference is huge.

The main thing at her age is to continue to develop her fine motor skills and finger muscles. Google ‘pre-writing skills’.

You're pressuring her to do something she's not ready for. Stop.
All children are different, some her age might be able to write their names, but most can't and are more interested in Mark making with pens, perfectly normal for a 3 year old. Please don't keep pushing her, there is plenty of time for learning, but at 3 it should be play and fun times.

Blimey when mine were 3 they could barely use the toilet by themselves, let alone write!

Dial down the hot-housing. At 3, play based learning is key. Formal writing shouldn't even be in their radar, not yours.

You need to stop putting pressure on her.
Sure, provide lots of opportunities for fine motor skills and mark making but stop expecting her to write her name.

Don't worry about it. Just make crayons and paints available for her to have fun with.

By the way, she isn't hypermobile at all, is she? They find it difficult and sometimes painful to hold a pencil. My dd struggled a bit early on. She coped by holding it in her fist like a dagger.

There are lots of activities that are good for developing pre-writing skills such as play dough, using kiddie scissors to snip paper, drawing shapes in sand/shaving foam, painting, lego etc but I would do them as 'fun activities' rather than pushing learning to write. I really wouldn't worry about not wanting to write at that age.

Don't worry about it as others have said don't pressure her. Let her make marks in finger paint or a thin layer of sand or use chubby crayons to scribble. She doesn't need to write yet but when she shows an interest in it by 'pretend' writing then help her. Many children start school unable to write their name - and often end up with very neat writing as they are taught to form letters correctly.

Another thing to remember is that children's wrists are not completely formed until the age of about 8.

Most 3 year olds can barely hold a crayon straight. Most hold in fist grip and scribble.

Some (more often girls) will be very dextrous and already holding a pencil and drawing, but this is rare.

ds scribbled. I remember he got a toy for his 4th birthday and I said let's draw a pitcture to send to Granny to say thank you. I sat with him and said things like hmm, could we make the picture the same colour as your yellow truck? That picture had 4 roundish black circles for tyres and yellow scribble for the truck. Iwas the veyr first thing he ever drew. A few weeks later at Christmas he recognised his name on the presents under the tree, and a few weeks after that he made his first attempt at writing his name.
He is now at a super selective grammar, predicted 3 As in A level, so it isn't any predictor of anything

Three's too early. Let her just play and let play include scribbling on paper with crayons. Say how lovely it all is. As she gets interested write things on her drawings - look, let's write your name! That's your name, that says... Is that a tree, let's write tree.

Don't try and make her learn to write or hold a pen at three. You'll only put her off and make her anxious.

Also, before you even think about writing, she needs otmark make, that means scribble, dotting splodging etc on paper, and she will gradually discover that she can move from scribble to cricles and shapes.

Children's drawing tend to follwo a certain pattern. People startvwith one circle, with arms and legs coming out of it. Then moves on to two circles, with arms and legs coming out of the 'body'
Until a chidl can draw the 2 circle person, they really cannot see and grasp the difference between an h or an n and between an d and an a.

Drawinf requires fine motor skills as others have said. One great trick for helping fine motor skills is to play with pegs.

OP were you writing at 3? I was not.

Your child needs to fully develop her shoulder and wrist muscles before she is able to write. Three is very young, just let her play. She may enjoy scribbling with thick crayons, but don't pressurise her to write just yet.

I used to teach reception and pushing writing before 4 is too early in my professional opinion. If they like it / want to then great but trying to get them to do it before they are ready can make them regress further down the line. Just relax and enjoy your child. Probably more beneficial they start school as a blank slate writing wise as then they will be likely to be more receptive to the school's particular way of learning to read and write. The 3 year olds that can write their name now may have to 'unlearn' how they did it and learn it again! Please don't worry. If you want to help your child then play with them and read to them. There are some great fine motor activities on Pinterest and fine motor is directly related to writing ability.

Just give her plenty of opportunities to draw, paint, scribble, colour in. She's still expressing herself and getting used to using the pen. Have posters and print around that she can see and try to copy if she wants to. If she's drawing sit beside her and write, even if it's your shopping list. You'll find without prompting she might want to write her shopping list too, even if it looks like this 〰️➰〰️➰〰️➰✖️✖️➿➿ praise her and ask her to tell you about what she's written.

Far too young.