10 year old son wants to wear nail polish.

[Ashleymitchell84]

Hiya, my ten year old (eleven in Jan) wants to wear nail polish, because he see his sisters who are 7 having their nails be painted. I don’t see a problem with it as he can’t wear it to school anyway and he isn’t playing out due to lockdown and social distancing rules, so there is no chance of him being bullied for it. However his dad is adamant that he is not allowed to wear it because it makes him camp. I’m just wondering if anyone has any ways of helping me get him to come round to the idea.
Thank you i’m advanced.

If he's adamant I'm not sure there is a way.

You could try asking him questions to find out exactly why he doesn't want him to do it. Once you know that you can begin to tackle the actual issue your H has.

I wonder if he knows that children often see this kind of rejection of their choices (school rules aside) as a rejection of themselves? I feel like he won't believe this though if he is, as you say, adamant.

Big fuss over nothing really - your OH is being ridiculous. It will be a 5 minute wonder with your DS and his Dad just needs to have a laugh with him about it.

Wow.

David Beckham?

Ozzie Osbourne?

There's been loads of men to wear nail varnish. Including some who were very much not camp!

If that's how he feels though I doubt anything you say will change his mind.

Tell your DH to get a grip, if your daughters paint their nails it’s no different, let him get on with it

What does your DH think will happen?

I've known plenty of men (and at least two boyfriends) who've worn black or navy blue nail polish. It was the fashion once!

I don't really have any advice but I can't believe people are so against boys doing anything that is remotely feminine. He is a child and wants to try new things. Wearing nail polish doesn't mean he is gay and it certainly isn't going to make him gay. But if he did so happen to be, would his father be against that?

What if your daughters want to play soccer? Or play with trucks? Or do any other stereotypical boy things? Would he think that they were lesbian or transgender?

Tell him he needs to get over himself and let his son be a kid.

Im afraid the only solution here is to tell your dh he is an unreasonable homophobe and then go and give your son some nail polish.

What @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz said.

I don't know any men who wear nail varnish. My DH would be of exactly the same as your DH. Does your DS have many friends or does he just play with his sisters?

My DH would be of exactly the same as your DH

What a lovely husband you both have.

It's not going to harm him, DH or anyone else. Hand over the nail varnish and have a bloody good talk with DH about his views and realistic outcomes. I second Ozzy as a point of reference.

Clear nail varnish?

Girly I don't know any men who wear nail varnish either.......and my dp certainly wouldn't wear it. But he honestly wouldn't care if ds did.........solely because he's not a knobhead.

I wouldn't be with someone who's so thick of head they get wrapped up over stuff like that.

I have two ds, they are 8 and 5. They both have long hair as they have never wanted it cut. Their hair is absolutely beautiful, but it does seem to bother some people, who cannot cope with boys having long hair! 🤣 What is really funny is that all the boys in my eldest ds class (year 4) are now growing their hair because they think my ds is so cool. No doubt he will shave it all off when he is a teenager, or not, it's not anything to get het up about. It's one of the few things they can have a choice about when they are children and it makes no difference as to whether they may turn out camp, or heaven forbid.......gay 😮🤭. Your husband is being an ignoramus!! Let your ds be.....he will probably want to do it even more if you say no, and what does it matter!!

Aye, right.

Would dad be persuaded by a theme? Does your collection of varnish allow you to do a football team’s colours for instance?

Is his dad your ex, or a current partner? “his dad is adamant that he is not allowed to wear it because it makes him camp.“ is concerning, any of your dcs might not be straight.

Do his toes?

He's 10...different if they are 6 (mine always bloody wore it) but at 10, I think you should just ignore him. If the school get wind of it they'll insist he's non binery and you don't want to start all that bollocks. You're already getting the usual responses from the 'let them be' brigade.

@ClaireP20

He's 10...different if they are 6 (mine always bloody wore it) but at 10, I think you should just ignore him. If the school get wind of it they'll insist he's non binery and you don't want to start all that bollocks. You're already getting the usual responses from the 'let them be' brigade.

Wtf?? Seriously what harm can it do to let a little boy have fun in a way HE wants to, not how his parents want him to?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Im afraid the only solution here is to tell your dh he is an unreasonable homophobe and then go and give your son some nail polish.

Homophobe?? Ridiculous comment.

How is he not a homophobe?

Thank you everyone, i’ve already let my boy wear nail polish. When my OH came home he said to me “why the hell is he wearing that he’s not a girl.” I said that it’s just nail polish and it’s not causing harm. My son has lots of friends both boys and girls who wear nail polish, he has friend who are boys who have long hair and friends who are girl who have short hair. My OH thinks that boys should have short hair and girls long, that boys like blue and girls like pink. His views are totally different to mine, i know this probably sounds stupid but if he doesn’t stop trying to dictate every thing in our children’s lives i’m not sure i can stay with him, i’ve been with him almost 12 years and i think now i’m only just realising how backwards his views are. I think it’s because i’ve always had long hair and been typically ‘feminine’ so he’s never had a nothing to say. Our twin girls have always been girly girls and loved ‘typical girl’ stuff but now that Oliver wants to try new things he’s showing how he really is. Is it stupid of me?

His views are totally different to mine, i know this probably sounds stupid but if he doesn’t stop trying to dictate every thing in our children’s lives i’m not sure i can stay with him

It isn't stupid. If you want to leave, do it.
I know, easier said than done but please don't waste yours and your dc's lives on him.

My husband would be the same and I'd handle it exactly as you did! You have to support your son's control over his own body and self expression. It's really important. That oppressive masculine culture is toxic.