Bigger age gaps- siblings

[sazzle1685]

Hi everyone first post on here! Just looking for positive stories of bigger age gaps between siblings. I have a little boy of 3.5 and unfortunately just recently had a miscarriage at 12+6 weeks. I tried for 6 months to get pregnant and will now need to start trying again. I'm presuming it's probably going to take the same amount of time (possibly longer as I am 35!) to conceive again. Just getting a little bit worried about having a big age gap 4-5 years plus and would like to hear other peoples experiences! We never wanted a small age gap but would have liked 3-4 years really although I know it can't be planned like that! Most of my friends have got age gaps between 18 months and 4.5 years. Thank you! x

The biggest gap I have is 6 years. Ds's of 6 and 12. Great friends all along!!

So sorry about your miscarriage. I’m here to read any more answers you get. Hoping to have another babe when my 2 are 5 and 7ish. There are pros and cons to all gaps and personally I love the early years so am up for extending that!

Thanks for the replies! Glad to hear your children with a 6 year gap get on @Santaisironingwrappingpaper! Thanks @PolarnOPirate the miscarriage was very recent so feeling very about it still and just hoping I will be able to get pregnant again! I'm close in age to all my siblings (there's 5 of them!) but actually get on the best with my sister who is 12 years younger than me- now that we are both adults! I suppose you can never know if siblings will get on no matter the gap! X

Any other experiences of bigger gaps? X

No bigger gap but a dd and a ds adults now with a 5 year gap. Very close.

5years between my dd and ds, through choice. They’re both adults now and have always been good together. No jealousy or rivalry, and they both had me pretty much to themselves till they started school (Scotland so they started at age 5).

I have a 11 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The huge age gap hasn't been a problem I would say it's been a great help really she can entertain herself while I've been running about. The two in close age gap still dont sleep through the night it's been hard

Thanks that's good to hear!

So sorry for your loss xx

Mine are 5.5 years apart. They mostly get along really well and the baby (1) adores her big sister and is just desperate to be like her.

I like that there will be a gap between milestones for them, so competition hopefully won’t be as fierce! I worry that they won’t share interests but then that could happen with any age gap.

I like that they have each had a dedicated baby period without being distracted by a toddler. Maternity leave was a really lovely time with my older one.

Fingers crossed for you xx

I have 7 years between mine. They're really close and the big one is really kind and helpful (at times) and my little one adores her. I was worried about they gap, as felt like I was starting again but it's been fab.

Also nice that we get one on one time. As I have 2 days off work with the toddler, whilst DD is at school. Then quality time with her when DD is in bed. Best of both worlds.

We have 4 boys, 32, 31, 12 and 10 and they are all really close apart from a time the older two clashed, and they have only 15 months between them. Also my 3 nephews are each 5 years apart in age. They've always got on well apart from a few spats as siblings do. Totally fine now though (23, 19 and 12). It's more to do with personality than age, I think.

My oldest is almost 21 and my youngest is 6 months, he was a great surprise!

Mine will have just over a 4.5year gap. I wanted 2 years but also had several miscarriages and ectopics. I'm glad Of the gap now though - I'm having twins and no way financially I'd cope with 3 under 3. Also DD is more independent and at school so can spend time with the new babies. DD seems to be at an age where she's very excited about her impending siblings and hasn't displayed any jealousy so far

I know people who had 7-10 year gaps out of choice but that's too big - they seem like 2 different families as the older one is too old to do things the toddler likes and vice Versa

So sorry for your loss OP. I'm in a similar position to you but looking around at my friends the ones with gaps like this were just fine and there are great relationships between the older and younger ones.

I’ve got a 17 year gap between mine but I’m assuming you don’t want a gap quite that big!! 🤣🤣

Mine were 5 and 7 when dc3 was born (snap @PolarnOPirate) although I didn’t want such a big age gap. Plus side is that the older two dote on the baby/toddler, it’s really brought out their caring side.

Down side is going back to toddler years when older kids want to do other stuff eg bike rods, football, craft. We’ve all had to be patient and zone the house.

Another plus is that the older one can watch tv with the younger one while we have a lie in!

7 years between my 2 DS's. They are sweet with each other and never fight. It's handy that the bigger one can collect little one from school / babysit for a few hours. My only worry is that in a couple of years the older one might want to go travelling or something - and the younger one will be really sad. That's life though, I suppose!

I have a 5 yr gap between mine and not through choice but circumstance.
The pros - I loved doing the baby years again, being able to give time to a baby without a toddler about was lovely- older child was at school.
The cons - for me I think the biggest thing was that my eldest just wasn’t interested in the baby! But I think that’s just a personal to him thing not necessarily general.
It’s taken a long while for the brothers to get on but now they have more shared interests So it’s better. But they are now 18&13!!!

I’ve learnt as I’ve got older that it’s not worth worrying about the things you cannot change. I’m sorry about your miscarriage, when you have your next child the age gap will be the normal for your family and you make it work - the children might not be the best of friends But they might! I think a lot of that down to personality rather than age anyway.
Good luck op

DC1 is 17, currently 10 weeks pregnant with DC2 - but not sure you were talking about that big an age gap!! 😂

5.5 year age gap. Worked well as eldest understood baby needed fed/changed and at other times she would get my attention. As baby started crawling she really loved playing with him and was safe to play with him without too much intervention from me. Now youngest is 5 and they are at different stages but still have enough in common, a strong bond and don't fight much because generally older child can convince younger one game she wants to play together with be really fun. And older child is usually patient/more mature if youngest is being unreasonable.

Wasn't what I had planned but worked out really well.

8 years between my eldest and youngest (with 1 in-between)
Good points
They don't argue and fight as much as closer age siblings
Older dc helps out with the youngest
Not having 2 dc at the baby/toddler stage at same time
They idolise each other (eldest and middle close age gap can barely be in same room together without a fight or argument starting)
Bad points
They have no common interests eldest is glued to fifa youngest is playing with batman toys
Family days out can be hard to find something that suitable and enjoyable for both

Thanks everyone! Really good to hear other peoples experiences. To be honest if I am able to get pregnant again I think the only thing that will be on my mind is to have a healthy baby anyway! Just sad when you start to make plans and think about the future and it's all taken away in an instant x

I do have to say this whole thing has made me so grateful for my little boy and I feel very lucky to have him! He's really helping me through it x

@sazzle1685

I do have to say this whole thing has made me so grateful for my little boy and I feel very lucky to have him! He's really helping me through it x

We’re all very lucky, I hope you get your new baby very soon x