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Parenting

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Original poster

Struggling with two week old

73 replies

Ilovesweets123 · 14/11/2020 02:29

I am really struggling with my two week old. She is never awake and content. She is either feeding, asleep on me or awake crying.
It is now 2.30am and she has spent the past four hours unsettled.
Every time I put her down she moans, when I hold her she moans. My eyes are sore.

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Original poster

Ilovesweets123 · 14/11/2020 02:30

Sorry, just realised no question. Please reassure me it will get better :(

OP posts:

BullshitVivienne · 14/11/2020 02:33

It does get better, but those early days are so so hard. No amount of people telling me that made me believe it when I had my first baby. I didn't think I'd survive but I did and now I have two kids.

The days and nights are so long when you don't know when you'll next get some sleep. Can anyone take over for you now?

Smarshian · 14/11/2020 02:37

This too shall pass. You have this brand new baby and those first few weeks are so so hard with sleeplessness. Babies can be very unsettled for a number of reasons. Try to be kind to yourself, do you have any support? Partner? Take rests wherever you can.

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Chocolate4me · 14/11/2020 02:44

I have a 6 week old and she was the same but is much easier now... I used a baby wrap carrier alot in the earlier days, daily walks so she'd sleep not on me for a breather and used infacol too but she's better now that we don't need it.
Hang in there, it gets better in a couple of weeks

heirloomcurls · 14/11/2020 02:47

Hang in there, OP.
It honestly will get better. Just take things one day at a time. One hour even.
There's nothing you can do but follow your baby's lead at the moment.
Delegate everything other than bf, sleep and your own basic personal hygiene for the time being.
I know not everyone is comfortable with this, but I used to prop myself up with pillows and sort of recline on my bed and let dc sleep on me while I dozed.
Sleep deprivation is torture.

Original poster

Ilovesweets123 · 14/11/2020 07:49

Thank you all. It is SO hard and draining. I guess I just need to start each day fresh. I have friends who said at the beginning all they do is sleep. I didn't realise how hard it would be to get them to sleep or how much they would cry.
I managed to get 2 hours sleep last night with her on top of me as she finally settled at 4am.
Its just so hard. Obviously I am so thankful for her, but no one tells you how draining it is.
I really really hope it doest get better, I feel like I am never going to sleep for more than 2 hours in a row ever again 😭.
Thank you all for your kind words xx

OP posts:

Original poster

Ilovesweets123 · 14/11/2020 07:49

Do you think if I switch to formula she might be any better?

OP posts:

BullshitVivienne · 14/11/2020 07:59

People will have different stories about formula milk and sleep. If you have a partner, maybe they could do one of the night feeds with a bottle? I personally found breastfeeding more convenient because I didn't have to make bottles up in the night (or day) but a break would have been nice.

Figure out how to safely side feed too, that worked wonders for me so I could doze as the baby fed.

Original poster

Ilovesweets123 · 14/11/2020 08:01

I have tried feeding with the baby next to me, but she gets so uncomfortable with wind that I have to get up anyway to burp her.
I just wish I could see a happy baby when she is awake rather than unsettled /in pain. It's so hard

OP posts:

4amWitchingHour · 14/11/2020 08:59

It is so so hard. I found the first couple of weeks absolutely brutal. Wind was our enemy too, we learnt "if in doubt, wind", and then a bit more, and a bit more, and a bit more. We couldn't wind DS enough tbh. We took him too an osteopath which really helped actually - freed up some tension in his back from birth which led to a happier diaphragm and more spontaneous burps.

It does get easier, and if it's not getting easier then look for things that might be causing issues - DS likely has dairy and soy allergy, as he's been much more settled since I cut them out my diet. He's nearly 16 weeks now, and although it's still hard, it's not the utter freight train that hits you in the first few days and weeks.

You're doing great - as long as you're all fed and alive at the end of a day that's all that matters

4amWitchingHour · 14/11/2020 09:01

Also on lying down breastfeeding - we didn't crack that one til about 8 weeks when he had more head control - he got way too windy for it to be worth it when he was littler too

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/11/2020 09:28

I’m Just starting week 2 with baby number 2, even though I know it gets easier it’s so hard. Formula won’t necessarily help with the issue of putting them to sleep as they will need burping more and the sleeping on mum/dad is about comfort and 4th trimester. However a bottle of formula could give you a chance for your partner to feed and you to sleep longer.
Also every baby is different, my first was awake all the time, but fed like a dream. My second is nocturnal, sleeps a lot in the day, but feeding has been a struggle- pointless to compare to other people’s experiences.
Honestly if does get better.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 14/11/2020 10:00

It does get easier .
It also depends why she's unsettled. Is it just wind,is it reflux(we didn't figure that one out until she was 4 months old), is it a dairy intolerance etc? The really difficult thing at this age is that they can't tell you what is wrong and a lot of it is trial and error.

WildCherryBlossom · 14/11/2020 11:36

As everyone says, it really does get better. Perhaps you could try baby massage to help with gas?

TheDetectiveBadge · 14/11/2020 12:01

Ah OP this was me with my first! She was a nightmare - rarely slept, couldn't put her down, she fed constantly! I too didn't understand the "all they do is sleep" brigade. It DOES get better. Around 6 weeks they start smiling and become a bit more interactive, I found 12 weeks the magic age where mostly digestive issues sorted themselves out and I didn't have to spend hours winding and before you know it they are sitting, crawling, playing and becoming their own little person.
In the meantime, take the night in shifts. Keep trying any sleep techniques that you've probably already tried - white noise, swaddling etc. They aren't always instant fixes but if you keep going they can help! Make sure you're taking care of yourself as best you can - if your baby does settle for a few minutes use that to eat/go to the loo/have a cuppa rather than start trying to blitz the house. I bf both my kids and my first was a terrible sleeper and my second a great sleeper so I'm not sure how much the type of feeding you do really impacts sleep.
Good luck with it all and congratulations on your baby.

Ellax · 14/11/2020 16:56

Have you tried giving them a good burp?? My baby’s sleep is rubbish at night when he’s windy (not that it’s amazing otherwise lol£

Princessbanana · 14/11/2020 17:11

Yep, I would switch! It was the only thing that saved me in the first few weeks and I don’t regret it one bit. A baby that sleeps and is content, that’s all I wanted and when I switched, that’s what I got!💕

zeddybrek · 14/11/2020 17:16

You can do this!

The first few weeks are the hardest because of the lack of sleep.

What saved me was a baby Bjorn sling and cosleeping safely. Also BF lying down on my side. I could then let baby feed and I would be rested and could browse my phone or read a book.

Things will get better hang in there OP.

xxxemzyxxx · 14/11/2020 17:21

OP I really feel your pain right now! My DS is 7 weeks old and felt he is so rarely content.

I eventually cracked last week and have now hired a night nanny for 2 nights a week so we can get some sleep, and she also specialises in good sleeping / feeding habits, and she has given us some great ideas, she is so good with him.

We had never managed to get him to settle in his next to me crib (it was getting me down he wouldn't settle unless on one of us). She has said wind is probably the cause of this so told us to make sure he is burped and then held upright for at least 10 mins afterwards. She also advised us to try Aptamil comfort milk as this is thicker and tends to help slow down their feeds (my DS is a real guzzler so that doesnt help with his wind). Hes been on it for 3 days now and the first 2 days he was a much happier baby, got loads more smiles and coos during playtime (which is lasting longer now). He is now also sleeping more in his crib (a few hours, but its increasing). Unfortunately we didn't have a great day today as he seemed to have an upset tummy and wouldn't sleep for longer than 40 mins at a time. Nanny said this might just be the transition between the milks.

She also said he loves being swaddled but he wriggles so much he never stays in it long. She suggested we get a love to dream swaddle, which arrived today. DH got him to sleep in this and he has been asleep for around 2 hours (longest we've got him to go down today). We will test it out tonight too!

Pearsapiece · 14/11/2020 17:27

Oh sweetheart, it gets better. I formula fed ds from the start, he didn't sleep longer than an hour at a time, took an hour to feed and fed every 2 hours. He wanted to sleep on us all the time and wouldn't be put down. He's now 2 and takes himself off to bed, he bloody loves it. We have to try really hard to keep him up some nights. He sleeps all through the night, wakes early but we are up early as a family anyway.
This too shall pass. If it didn't, people wouldn't have more than one. Hang in there!

TJ17 · 14/11/2020 17:32

Ohhhh I feel you OP.
I had DC2 end of August and I could have written your post. She is my 2nd and I still had no idea what to do and I cried every night at the prospect of yet another sleepless night!

She's now 11 weeks old and she sleeps through, sometimes waking once in the night for a feed (she's breastfed) and things are sooo much easier.

Hang on in there IT DOES GET EASIER

MrsMarrio · 14/11/2020 17:49

I had my first child in June and felt exactly the same as you were one day I said to my DH 'I feel like running out the front door and not coming back' I was exhausted. It 100% gets easier. From 6 weeks he slept through the night so at least I was getting some rest of a night time and now he's in his own little routine we're I can consistently get things done in the house and take a breather. Covid doesn't help as no one can baby sit and there isn't any baby groups in my area either so you just feel so alone. But I just remember that they are so precious and grow so quick and one day they won't want to fall asleep on you.

dannydyerismydad · 14/11/2020 17:52

I remember starting my baby in the face saying "what do you want from me?" He was grumpy and it was hard to figure what the issue was.

We found fresh air helped (DH took him for a stroll so I could have some peace). He would either come back asleep, or properly hungry so would actually latch and feed rather than faffing about.

He was also a little motion addict. Much happier in the buggy or car or being held while I danced and swayed. I was permitted to sit down only to feed him.

It gets easier. Round about 8 weeks he was calmer and sleepier. Of course I still didn't rest because he was so quiet I was worried something was wrong with him.

MrsMarrio · 14/11/2020 17:58

Also if baby is very uncomfortable with wind get some infacol. Defiantly helped my son when he was windy

copperoliver · 14/11/2020 18:13

Maybe try some infacol. Incase she has a windy tummy x

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