Struggling with two week old

[Ilovesweets123]

I am really struggling with my two week old. She is never awake and content. She is either feeding, asleep on me or awake crying.
It is now 2.30am and she has spent the past four hours unsettled.
Every time I put her down she moans, when I hold her she moans. My eyes are sore.

I really feel for you! It will get better but there's no 2 ways about it, the first few weeks are brutal. My first baby was very uncomfortable lying down and was one of those babies who if he wasn't feeding or asleep was unhappy. He's now a gorgeous cheery 9 year old (and in fact was a lovely baby from about 3 months).

I found that doing lots of winding was crucial, use a sling/carrier if they like to be held and don't worry about letting them sleep on you if you manage to get some sleep too. These habits can all be changed later so don't feel like you're making a rod for your own back by making life as comfortable as possible in these early stages.

Good luck.

You can't let her sleep on you if you're asleep it's really dangerous.

As well as the good advice above do speak to your midwife/health visitor/GP if you are unsure. Babies shouldn't cry all the time. If it keeps going on they can check things like silent reflux etc. Getting things like this don't cause any harm and if it is something then it could help.

Good luck.

Op.....I could of written this exact same post! Same issues, same discomfort, baby three weeks old and won't sleep in cot or settle. This is our second baby and we just can't remember it quite this bad!!!!
Anytime you want to chat then do message as I'm awake A LOT! 50 mins sleep last night!!!!
BUT as everyone says, it's so temporary, it'll pass and really soon and you
Won't look back! But in the meantime let me know how you get on! Good luck tonight x

I too feel the same. I have a 10 day old and nights are getting worse. Constantly squirming after feeds, feeds all the tine at night and then you worry something's a wrong. Hoping it'll pass

It does get easier. I’ve a 3 month old and once we got to 8 weeks and she got much better at feeding everything improved.
Wind can be a major issue, it’s why I’m awake now as she kept farting and waking herself up just after I’d got her to sleep. Repeatedly.
If you can feed laying down do, it takes a bit of practice for both of you.
Wrap her in a blanket whilst she’s still in your arms and warm the cot/basket up with a hot water bottle so she isn’t woken up by the change in temperature when you put her down.
Don’t give up bf as babies either sleep or they don’t it’s not down to feed. My first mix fed didn’t. Second usually does sleep well.

It does get easier OP. Just keep repeating to yourself that everything is just a phase and will pass. I remember those first few weeks, feeling like I was going to die from lack of sleep and crying every night in the shower before getting into bed as I was dreading another night of 2 hours of broken sleep and knowing I wouldn't get any in the day as my baby barely napped until I got her into a nap routine at around 4 months.
My baby also really struggled with colic and I found Dentinox/Infacol to be a life saver. They both do the same thing, I used to just give my baby some before a feed. Dentinox is cheaper but tastes like absolute shit (my DD hated it) and Infacol tastes like those orange cream chocolates in quality street so my DD was much happier to take that one.
Please do try not to fall asleep with her on you though as it can be really dangerous should she roll off you or you roll in your sleep. I know it is so hard when they won't settle anywhere else though.
Have you got a Next to me crib? That really helped me but ultimately I co-slept a lot which really helped baby to settle in those first few months. Look up safe sleeping guidance and give it a go as it really does help.

Keep going, you can do this! My ds2 is 4 weeks old now. At 2 weeks my breasts were sore, tender and I wanted to throw in the towel. I couldn't read my ds at all. I didn't know what he wanted. We understand each other much better now. Feeding has got easier and I'm starting to enjoy time with my boy more. I found people here so supportive and helpful when I just needed a moan or I needed advice. Lower all your expectations and just breathe when it gets tough. You've done 2weeks so you are doing something right!

It really does get easier as time goes on! It was horrendous for us at the beginning - DD wouldn't sleep a wink at night and would only sleep on someone in the day. One night she screamed non stop for 5 hours - we thought we were going insane! We had to do shifts through the night just to survive. Turns out she has a cow's milk allergy so we changed her milk and she was like a different baby. She's 4 months old now and wakes once in the night for a feed. You'll get there - it's really tough in those first few weeks. We began to notice a significant change at around the 6-week mark.

I've just tried a dummy to see if this helps. I'll keep you posted😫

It does get better, but it's not realistic to expect babies at this age to be awake and content for more than a few minutes. It all can change very quickly though! You are doing a great job. Hang in there.

OP @Ilovesweets123 I'm in the same boat, I could almost have written this post but I've got a 2 week old DS! Will only sleep on me, I don't sleep at night, and he's constantly windy and can't be put down! Hoping it gets easier too. I also have a 2 year old DS, I still can't remember when it gets easier! I'm here if you want to talk, I'm up most of the night 😂 sending lots of strength and positive thoughts to you x

@Laur89
Same, same, same!

Also with a two year old! Feel free to message throu the night and let me know if you find anything that works!!!!!

I also can't remember how bad it was and for how long! Xx

@gettingupearlyzzzz it's a killer isn't it! There's no time to rest in the day, the 2 year old needs so much attention and play time! Will let you know if I find anything that works, please let me know also! Do you swaddle your newborn? Do you have boys or girls? X

@laur89 you are not alone!! It's so hard at night and it is so difficult when they will only settle on you.
Are you breastfeeding or formula? And do you give a dummy?
I have bought colief and infacol today in the hope that one of those will do something!!!

@Ilovesweets123 the nights are the hardest, feel like the only person awake in the world! You just pray they will sleep, and knowing that as soon as you try and put them back in their bed they will stay asleep... doesn't happen!
I'm breastfeeding, are you? Havnt given a dummy yet but not far off doing it! Do you? You'll have to let me know if either of those work 🤞🏻 I gave gripe water to my 1st when he had bad colic and it helped!

It does get easier. At 2 weeks my first child had still never slept without a human as her mattress, but we got out of that gradually. My second was one of those newborns who slept all the time and I finally understood what others had been talking about. If wind is an issue then I highly recommend infacol, as others have done. And breastfeeding is super hard initially, feels like all you do day and night for the first few weeks. But the feeds space out a bit, the baby gets more efficient so they get quicker and it seemed easier to me overall once we got established. That said, my daughter did have a bottle of formula in the night occasionally early on so that I could get a longer stretch of sleep. That could also be with expressed milk of course. Advice recommends against it early on in order to get properly established, but your ability to cope is also important. My daughter needed motion all the time and hated her buggy for 4 months, so sleeping when (if!) she slept wasn’t an option, so it can be really hard. I used to look at mums pushing babies in prams, or better still, sitting down while baby slept in a pram, in wonder. But you get there, take it a day at a time. And when the nights feel endless and you feel totally alone, remember that it’s just one night, get to the morning and start again and bit by bit it gets easier. Nothing with babies is forever because if it was unrelentingly awful forever we’d never have any more! I have three but surviving the first 6 months of each of them was really tough.

How are you today @Ilovesweets123 and @gettingupearlyzzzz?

I have an 11 day old. Luckily she is a sleeper, but my first was not! Hours of crying for no apparent reason. Is your baby BF or on formula? If on formula sometimes it can mess their tummy up in the first few weeks and give them tummy pains or constipation. I also say maybe get a sling if baby likes to be very near you and that solves the crying. Its rubbish at night time but may save your sanity during the day. If you are trying to get baby to sleep a little in a cot or moses basket, I found putting a t shirt I had worn hanging on the cot worked for both of mine. They smell you and think you are there. I have also heard people say good things about those ewan sheep that play heartbeat sounds. Maybe someone has a second hand one knocking around. Honestly, you have my sympathy. It is a really hard time, but I promise it will pass and be a memory sooner than you think.

Sorry. Just saw you are BF. It is insanely tiring when you are solely responsible for feeding baby. Could you express some milk so your partner could do a feed or two at night? I FF and my DH is currently taking the 2am (ish) feed and it's a godsend.

Morning @Laur89 & @Ilovesweets123....

How were your nights?
Little Bubba here slept in cot in three spurts, one for 20 mins, one an hour 15 and one for 50 mins. The rest of the night was on one of us.....and he fed like an absolute beast (B-Fing BtW).

Exhausted today but standard! Need to get the baby carrier out for the days so I can play more with my 2 yr old. Trouble is I had a c-sec so this is harder to get out and can't drive!
How are you both recovering?

Jodie x

I have noticed with ours (5 weeks) that when he will and won't sleep happily by himself tends to coincide with whether the room is very warm or not. When it isn't warm he can be put down for a short while but reliably wakes up and starts complaining until he's sat on one of us for a while then he goes back to sleep. Just something to consider.

How are we all getting on?

Anything got any better for any of you?

We are still the same.....averaging 2 hours sleep a night! Totally exhausted! X

Yes sorry it is awful. Nothing quite prepares you for it.
We got through it twice by doing shifts. Also accept any and all help you are offered, and lower all your standards.
They are quite cute though when not wailing.

Hope you are ok OP? Lots good stuff on here - infacol, water bottle wrapped in one of your ready to wash tops put in crib to keep it warm then remove when you put baby down, It will be warm and will smell of you. The night feeds may increase as she builds your supply up, she may also cluster feed soon - mine did about 20 times one 24!hrs, thought I was loosing the plot but it’s all developmental as they grow they need to boost your supply- Mother Nature is so clever- try to express in the day after each feed so that your DH can do a feed for you Late evening and make sure you get your head down - oh and really good ear plugs for when DH takes over. My DH would come and wake me for the 2 am feed, having done the 10pm with expressed milk so I managed to sleep from day 9pm ish to 2 am bliss And he was in charge - honestly it does improve - eventually About 3-4 months you can night feed without baby waking up - it’s so quick, no need to wind Either if bf