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Original poster

To hate baby classes

28 replies

cherrytree975 · 21/10/2020 17:10

My baby was born in early lockdown and is now 6.5 months. Initially I was planning to go along to lots of baby classes as soon as they started up again, which some in my area now have.

However, after trying a couple of different ones I've found that I really dislike them. I hate having to wear a mask to play with my child for one thing, and I find that social distancing makes it harder to interact with other mums.

There was also a list of Covid-related rules as long as my arm for one of the classes I went to - and whilst I totally understand this is necessary to keep everybody safe, it just makes the whole experience quite unenjoyable IMO.

In addition, my baby seems to scream and cry quite a lot compared with everyone else's calm and happy DC, which I find very stressful in a class setting.

However, whilst I'd rather not go to any classes at all, I worry that I'm disadvantaging my baby socially by avoiding them. Do babies benefit from other babies' company by 6.5 months and should I force myself to attend? Or does it not really matter at this age?

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attillathenun · 21/10/2020 17:55

What tier is your area in? We are in tier 1 and we only have to wear a mask when entering or exiting the building so maybe there are classes with different restrictions? I totally get the whole thing of not speaking to other mums, it’s very annoying to not be able to socialise. My DD loves baby sensory and while it’s annoying I can’t get much from it, she seems to love going and gets a lot from just seeing other babies and adults (she’s 10.5 months now). If your baby enjoys it I would keep going, gives them a different perspective of the world and they get to see other faces

unicornparty · 21/10/2020 18:01

I never went to them. I went to one and was so bored I couldn't bring myself to go again. It hasn't harmed my now 10 year old

Original poster

cherrytree975 · 21/10/2020 18:05

We went to a music class and everyone was sat two metres apart. DD didn’t know what was going on really; she just played with her toys the whole way through. I might as well have been in the lounge at home!

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June628 · 21/10/2020 18:06

My NCT group did our own baby sensory. You might only be able to do it with 2 other mums and their DC though as that makes 6 but you can each take it in turns & prepare something & I found it a lot more enjoyable with people I knew & DD still got to see other babies. Mind you we did it outside and that’ll be a lot harder with the rubbish weather now so probably not an option.
Haven’t been to any formal classes but I’ve decided the stress of trying to get anywhere non essential with naps, feeds, food etc just isn’t worth it. I also know I’m not social enough to actually make any friends that way haha. I know DD won’t care about it either

olderthanyouthink · 21/10/2020 18:44

I didn't really do them when DD was a baby, would have been more for me then but now I'm quite sad I can't really do them now that she'd actually be interested in it. She's nearly 2 and social distancing doesn't work too well with her wanting to hug and grab everyone.

Plus the stuff that's on is really expensive!

Nelbert19 · 21/10/2020 19:01

From the reading ive been doing, the baby won’t suffer from lack of socialisation until around 18 months - at 6 months, you and close family will be enough

This is from googling to reassure myself, so I’m hoping it’s true!

Ihaveoflate · 21/10/2020 19:18

I go to a music class and it's a bit crap for all the reasons you mentioned, but at least it breaks up the day.

My 15 month old gets very little out of it and loads more from going to nursery a couple of days a week. The thing is, I really need to get out of the house on my days at home with her and the weather's getting colder!

Basically, don't go if you don't get anything out of it. If your baby needs to interact with others, try soft play centres. There's no social distancing going on there (and I'm in tier 2).

Original poster

cherrytree975 · 21/10/2020 19:55

If your baby needs to interact with others, try soft play centres. There's no social distancing going on there (and I'm in tier 2).*

Thanks - but I think DD may be a bit young for soft play (she's only 6.5 months!)

With the music class, I had to distract her with toys to make sure she didn't cry. She barely even registered what was going on around her and I think there wasn't much to see TBH - just other mums all sitting two metres apart with their babies. There were some older kids there (probably aged about 2?) who did seem to be getting a lot out of it though.

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Original poster

cherrytree975 · 21/10/2020 19:55

Bold fail - sorry.

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Dyra · 21/10/2020 20:05

Tbh the only reason I went to any baby groups (pre-Covid) was for me to get some social interaction, not for DD! Covid hit us about the same age your DC is now. Back then, DD would ignore all the other babies (even if they showed any interest in her) and be far more interested in gumming on anything in her reach. Now that I'm back to work, she's in nursery twice a week, and is incredibly social. The 6 months or so with no other baby interaction has apparently done her no harm in the slightest.

Only go if you get anything out of it is what I guess I'm trying to say.

INeedNewShoes · 21/10/2020 20:08

We never went to baby classes. Rather stick pins in my eyes!

DD had plenty of other social experiences and interaction/singing/exploring etc. with me that I thought she'd survive without baby classes.

The only thing I would say is that it took her some time to get used to being at nursery with tons of other kids and I do wonder whether this would have been easier for her if we'd done at least a playgroup or something when she was younger. Most of our social things were with 2-3 other babies max rather than big groups.

Nicknamegoeshere · 21/10/2020 20:12

I agree - classes are rubbish. I have a 4.5 month old. Tried a music one with her but it was pants with the mask and mat.

I enjoyed mat leave with both my older kids immensely, but I'm not this one. I'm thinking about returning to work asap but tricky as I can't work from home being a primary teacher!

I'm finding every day isolating, boring and mind-numbing tbh I think my little one would be much better with a childminder as things stand.

Franklyfrost · 21/10/2020 20:15

No way was I going to voluntarily put myself in a room with lots of babies, someone bossing me about, bright lighting, lots of noise and conversations about sleep and nappies and bleuugh. It’s good to go to play groups once or twice a week in the few months before starting nursery. If you shop around you’ll find some more bearable than others. Find mummy friends but find them in the wild. Your kid will be fine just make sure you leave the house every day.

boarboar · 21/10/2020 20:18

If you aren't getting anything out of it and she isn't enjoying it then I honestly wouldn't bother. Just taking her out and about with you is enough at that age imo.

grassisjeweled · 22/10/2020 02:26

Total waste of time.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 22/10/2020 08:58

Have you tried baby swim classes? Its a bit different from just sitting in a room playing (I didnt like them either. I didnt see why id paid to do what I could do at home)

NameChange30 · 22/10/2020 09:17

YANBU. Baby groups can be excruciating. They were bad enough pre-covid and now the masks and social distancing make them even more annoying. They're not essential, tbh I think they're more for the parent than for the baby. It does help to get out of the house and talk to other parents. With DC1 I tried a few groups, hated most of them but did like Sing and Sign, it was pretty relaxed and was beneficial (we did signing at home) and the other parents were quite friendly. I hated baby sensory because it was all a bit over enthusiastic for my liking (I was sleep deprived and grumpy) and I didn't find the other parents very friendly. Now I'm on mat leave with DC2 I am going to try groups but won't force myself if I'm not enjoying it. As I say, it's for us not the babies! (On that note I'm going to try a postnatal exercise class that you can attend with baby, might as well do something to benefit me and my health.)

spacegirl86 · 22/10/2020 09:19

At 6 months groups are for you. If you are getting nothing out of them especially due to the pandemic don't bother. Now my dd is 15mnths she is starting to get more and more out of it, like tumble tots etc.

I agree with a pp that swimming might be a good one for you. A bit pricier but if you are saving on the other ones then it's not so bad!

happymummy12345 · 23/10/2020 14:57

I knew I'd hate anything like that so I never bothered with them at all

LividLaughLovely · 23/10/2020 15:10

Our area has forest school baby groups where you can basically sit on a log round a camp fire and drink tea and chat to other mums while the babies eat leaves. Can you find anything like that?

It’s much better than the baby sensory that’s introduced a mask or visor rule.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 23/10/2020 15:16

I went to baby massage and then baby yoga with my first. I tried one session of stay & play but hated it. I did nothing with my second. When my children were 3&4 I tried a local playgroup thing. They loved it but I hated it because no adults would talk to me. They'd move my stuff when I went for a drink, sit in my place and then ignore me! I tried 3 sessions but after that I never went back. Both of them, the youngest especially, are happy and sociable children now despite the lack of baby groups.

uisage · 23/10/2020 21:27

Baby classes at that age are definitely for you to get out of the house (with maybe a side benefit of guaranteeing a good nap). If you're not enjoying it, don't feel any guilt at canning it. If you've managed to bond with any of the other mums, maybe try and Facebook friend them and arrange a coffee date?

Taswama · 23/10/2020 21:35

Baby classes are definitely more for mum than baby at that age.
If you're not enjoying it at all, don't bother. If you are looking for new mum friends, then a local mums group on FB - Wiltshire mums or whatever may be an option. I think there's a MN page too. You could ask for anyone with a baby of a similar age is free to meet for a coffee.

crazychemist · 24/10/2020 17:28

At this age, it’s for you not the child. So if you don’t enjoy it (which I’d totally understand at the moment!) then don’t go. In a few months your child might enjoy watching other children, and mine was motivated to get on the move by watching slightly older children who were mobile. Personally, I’m expecting twins in a couple of weeks, and have no intention of signing up to any classes while we’re still in the situation of having to wear masks - I always viewed classes as a way of inspiring me to interact with my child in different ways/with different things and I won’t be doing that effectively wearing a mask!

MichelleOR84 · 24/10/2020 21:44

I did ALL the baby classes with my little one ( this was pre-COVID). I found it was more for me than him but he definitely still benefited from them, but more so as he got closer to one . I really enjoyed socialising with the other mums and it was great to get out of the house . My husband thinks the baby classes were great for our DS though and is convinced they are the reason he’s doing so well now at 20 months . I’m not convinced though . I agree with a PP that soft play is just as great and no social distancing .

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