September 2020 babies- how are we all doing?

[lockdownpregnancy]

Hi ladies! I had my gorgeous DS back on 22 September and just wanted to post to see how our September babies are getting on?
I'm a FTM and whilst I had an idea what to expect it's been a massive shock to the system!

The lack of sleep is what is ruining me but I have to say me abs DH make a great team and each giving each other time to lie in, or go to bed early or nap.
DH is on nights this week so pretty much on my own all day and night so it's been pretty exhausting!
How is everyone else doing?

Hows everyone getting on? I've had a busy couple of days and have been exhausted with very little sleep. Ds is so hard to get down for naps now lol. Anytime I place him in his crib asleep hes awake 5 mins later. I've been awake since 1.30am this morning 😴 I'll need all the coffee today lol!

I started using gripe water yesterday and couldnt believe the amount of wind he was bringing up, it was never ending 🤣! Has anyone been sent a letter for babys 6 week check up yet?

Hi @LoveRainbow02 DS has colic and all he did yesterday was scream. It was so bad the GP sent us off to hospital to get him checked over. We didn't get home until 1am, all of exhausted!
Thankfully he is ok and it's just colic, so just got to persevere with his screaming the poor lil thing!
He has reflux so the HV said to stop the Colief we were putting in his bottle and use thickener. He was then having 4oz every 2 hours so not only was he struggling, he was so over fed, his tummy was in agony!
The doctor said we should have never have taken his off the Colief and it needs to be 3-4oz every 3 hours!
No wonder he was in so much pain yesterday! It was awful! Me and DH were beside ourselves! To make matters worse the hospital only let me in with DS and DH had to sit in the car for 4 hours!!!
Needless to say we are all knackered! When we got home DS was so exhausted he skipped a feed and slept for 7 hours. To say we were grateful is an understatement!
Here's hoping for a quiet day today with him! 🤞🤞
I'm with you on the copious amounts of coffee too 🤪🤪

@lockdownpregnancy Glad lo is ok, colic is awful! My ds was also taking feeds every 2 hours and like your lo I think this was just upsetting his tummy even more. I'm now managing to stretch him to 3/4 hours and hes taking around 5oz each time. Oh 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep sounds bliss! Hopefully today is a quieter day for you all. It's so hard hearing them scream the way they do with colic 😔. My dh is taking 2 days holiday next week and I'm so exhausted so I cant wait for a little break 😁.

@lockdownpregnancy I’m so sorry, that sounds awful and so frustrating to be told conflicting things, upsetting your little boy at the same time!

I’m pleased you all got a little recovery time in the uninterrupted sleep too, you must have all been exhausted. 3-4 hours sounds better, hopefully that’ll keep creeping up as well.

@LoveRainbow02 Ours is the same in the day although getting OK again at night. We’re pretty much ‘wearing’ him all day at the moment while husband is on half term, every time we tried to put him in the Moses basket yesterday he’d wake up. I’m going to make use of the sling more next week and do the same so he sleeps and I can move about a bit. I was worried we would then be shooting ourselves in the foot and he wouldn’t go down at night but so far he’ll still sleep in stints of up to 2 hours at night so not too bad. There are more 1 hr stints than 2 hr ones but I’m hoping that changes! I’m pleased your partner is giving you a bit of a break next week.

2 nights ago I’d been up with our son for 3 hours from midnight to 3am after having accumulated a lot of sleep deprivation, and got so upset that husband took over, just waking me up for feeds until the morning. Doing midnight to 8am all by myself for 2 weeks has killed me, we’re changing night times up a bit for a few nights just to share the load.
We’ve been using gripe water with our son and that seems to have been the most effective out of everything. I think Dentinox was OK but he hated the taste so it was a case of upsetting him to try and make him feel better. At least he’ll take the gripe water and doesn’t seem as affected by the wind when he has it.

I’ve also been trying to make the most of his awake him with songs and tummy time - before I’d panic every time he was awake and just want him to be asleep but now I have a few songs he seems to like and he enjoyed tummy time on his black and white mat today, feels amazing when he makes little happy noises. He’s only made them when playing or in the bath, so cool.

@Embalina as first time parents it's so hard to know what to do sometimes and who to listen to! 😫
Thankfully we have done what the doctor said today and DS seems a lot more settled, though I did need some gripe water for the feed I gave him at 4.30pm but a small price to pay.
He's slept through most of today, in between feeds but to be honest I think he's still exhausted from yesterday!
No doubt we are in for a sleepless night as he will probably come to life at 3am 🤪🤪
We put him down for his morning nap today in his cot and he slept for nearly 2 hours in it 👍🏻
It also meant I could get some house work done so going forward his morning nap will be in his cot. That way I can shower In the morning and get some housework done and then he can sleep in his Moses basket in the lounge for his naps for the rest of the day.
At least then he starts getting used to his cot and his nursery
Anyone else trying that?

@Embalina This is what worries me most about getting a carrier, what is ds doesnt settle at night and just wants to be held constantly then too. I'm picking one up tomorrow though as I need my hands back 🤣. Ds1 is misbehaving a lot and I think its down to the fact I always have ds2 in my arms trying to calm him or get him to sleep.

@lockdownpregnancy That's good that your lo settled in the cot for naps, will be lovely to get your mornings back to yourself. I've got a next 2 me crib in our bedroom at the minute so I won't be switching to the cot until around 5 months.

I'm feeling pretty wiped tonight and a bit down. Bit worried incase I develop PND. I feel so guilty for not be able to give ds1 as much of my time and I feel I'm snapping at him rather quickly now due to tiredness etc. I have moments where I think omg what was I thinking having another baby so soon then I feel so guilty for thinking that! I always knew it was going to be tough but I never expected it to be as tough as what it is the now. I know the early days fly past and I should be cherishing every little moment but tbh I'm not enjoying these early days with colic, reflux etc. Sorry just needed to get that out lol.

Oh bless you @LoveRainbow02 it's hard with just one so I bow down to you for having two!
My DS also has a next to me crib and that's where he is during the night, just testing the cot out for his morning nap to get home used to it.

And don't worry about feeling bad and having the thoughts you are. It must be so hard having two children! I would speak with tour HV or GP about how you feel though, as you don't want your mental health to spiral out of control.

My DS is 5 weeks old and I had the baby blues for the first few weeks and I was worried it would go bad but thankfully I seem to be doing ok. I'm thankful of that as I suffer with anxiety and depression so I was so worried.
I have an amazing DH and family so I have the best support.
Try and lean on your DP or family/friends as well with how you feel. Talking is some of the best medicine in times like this.

My area is about to go into Tier 2 which means no more visitors! Not sure how that's going to fair as I rely heavily on my mom and MIL 😭😭

@lockdownpregnancy My family’s county has just gone into Tier 2 as well so they’re not allowed up to see me anymore which really sucks. They’ve only been up a couple of times since he was born anyway, which is also frustrating because I didn’t see them for pretty much all of lockdown either.

@LoveRainbow02 If the last couple of days are anything to go by, I don’t think a sling/carrier should interrupt it too much - we’re also really trying to help him differentiate between night and day with noise and light etc so hoping to communicate to him that carrying is for day time and crib is for night time. We’ve got a Next2me crib too. We’ve recently got a Ewan The Sheep as well which we tried last night with the light off in the bedroom for the first time (we had a bedside lamp on the floor before) which seemed to work well too, apart from that he shuts off after 20 minutes which occasionally woke DS up but apart from that was good.

Like lockdownpregnancy has said, make sure you talk to your health visitor about your fears. I think in a lot of cases it’s a lot to do with support and maintenance. I’ve had about 4-5 days so far where I’ve had all the feelings of PND - guilt, despair, disconnect etc. Night before last when my husband took over, I couldn’t stop crying and felt such despair, which went on into the morning despite me having had some more sleep. But then once I get what I need and have a good problem-solving conversation, I feel ready to face it again and feel connected and hopeful and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I cannot imagine how hard it is with another child. Please try and be kind to yourself, you are doing your best. I recently went on an attachment and development course for work and they said that in order to grow up balanced and well etc, kids only need ‘good enough parenting’ something silly like a third of the time. Not amazing parenting 100% of the time. So try not to worry, you will be having good moments with DS1 and showing you love him, he’s bound to be jealous, and hopefully with the carrier and your hands free you’ll be able to do more to make yourself and him feel better.

I don’t think I knew the meaning of guilt until I had our DS!

Also, it’s so hard, but try not to tell yourself how you SHOULD feel or what you should be doing. I feel the same about trying to cherish every moment but it’s just not possible. Just try and be mindful of those times it’s calm and peaceful and you’re having newborn cuddles, and cut yourself some slack - who’s going to really enjoy anything when they’re seriously sleep deprived and when their baby is in such discomfort/screaming?

It’s clear from our messages we’re all doing our best, hang in there

Thanks for your words of support ladies. I'm feeling much better now and I think that's down to the fact I've had dinner in peace and actually enjoyed watching some tv with dh while both babas are asleep. I feel balanced out when things are calm so I'm probably just getting caught up in the stressful moments and fearing the worst. Just about to give ds a bottle and hopefully get him settled down for the night.

My area has been placed into tier 3 so I'm very restricted on what I can do now. Think that's adding to my mood, nowhere to go and no baby groups on in my area at the moment 😔.

@LoveRainbow02 I don't think you can 'enjoy' being a mommy 100% of the time.
When my DS was screaming the other day, ALL DAY, I did think to myself 'why did I do this?'
I immediately felt guilty for even thinking it.
My first two weeks I just thought life was shit and I was a shit mom as I found it really difficult, but these last few weeks have gotten a lot easier for me.
I'm sure there will be plenty of tough times ahead for us all but in these strange times I think we all need to grit our teeth and keep going 😬😬
I'm hoping my mom forms a bubble with us as she lives alone, but her dad (my grandad) is not well and she has to go down to look after him a few times per week, so I'm not sure what she's going to do.
No more visits from the in laws either to which I heavily rely at the moment.
Here's hoping for some nice weather, so we can meet up for walks instead.
Hoping your night time feeds are going well.
My DS is currently on my shoulder and I'm counting the minutes until I can put him back in his next to me crib and go back to sleep! 🤪🤪

@lockdownpregnancy Yeah I think I need to cut myself some slack and remind myself I'm only nearly 5 weeks in with a newborn and very active 2 year old lol. It wont always be tough and before I know it I'll be back at work so need to make the most of every little moment! I've got things planned with ds1 tomorrow for halloween, baking cakes, making crafts and dress up so that will keep us occupied lol. Ds2 woke for a feed at 1am and then at 5.30am, hes been sleeping since 6am and I've been able to spend this morning with ds1 which has been lovely 💙. Currently watching blippi on tv while eating our cereal. Think I need to change the teat size on ds2 bottles, I'm using mam and the next size up says it's for 2 months+ but he keeps falling asleep on the bottle and not finishing his feeds now so think the faster flow may help. I'll trial it today and see how he goes 🤞.

Also I've formed a bubble with my parents but a bit unsure now as my mum works in a school which has had a lot of positive cases recently. She is my support at the weekends when I need a little break or to go do a food shop lol. Will just need to see how things play out over the next few weeks.

@LoveRainbow02 I've got the MAM bottles as well but using size 0 teats as DS drinks too fast and then throws up his bottle so need the size 0 to ensure he takes his time with his feed!
Had a shit morning with him this morning as he didn't have his morning sleep so then he was over tired and screaming the place down until his next bottle.
I was trying to get ready as I was meeting a friend (my last meet up before lockdown 😭) and my hair was dripping wet so I propped DS up in my pregnancy pillow on my bed and then put the hairdryer on and he instantly stopped crying!!!!
Why did I not know this before!!! Talk about a game changer!!!

Morning mummas - how’re you guys doing today?

Do your LOs make grunting/throat clearing noises at night? Mine makes this noise, and after googling it again last night, I can’t figure out if it’s mucus or wind/poo. He doesn’t do it in the day apart from little grunts sometimes on us which definitely seem like wind.
I keep stopping and starting the gripe water so maybe need to be more consistent with it and see how that goes.
It doesn’t upset him, so he doesn’t cry, but it definitely disturbs him. So much of last night he was hyped up, breathing fast and arms waving.

@Embalina my DS makes all those sorts of noises. Sometimes he's got wind, sometimes it's because he's trying to poop and then other times he's just having a good time flapping his arms around and making noises and is perfectly happy. It usually tires him out and within 10 minutes or so he's asleep!
DS did really well last night! He did 2 hours, then two lots of 3 hours, followed by another 2 👍🏻
Doctors told us to feed DS 4oz every 3 hours, as he's nearly 6 weeks old and weighs 10lb 10oz 😳
How much do you feed your babies abs when do we know when to increase their feeds?

Hi ladies 😊. I've had a busy afternoon with ds1 doing halloween activities and going for lunch. Just home and I'm shattered!

@lockdownpregnancy Yes the hair dryer noise works wonders!! Ds1 would fall asleep to the sound of it often lol. My lo is taking 5oz bottles every 3 hours at the minute, if he continues to drain the bottle each time I'll up him to 6oz and try stretch him to 4 hours in between feeds.

@Embalina Yes my ds grunts every single night and it's so loud!! He also flaps his arms and breathes quite fast but eventually settles after 10 mins or so. Grunting can actually be a sign of reflux too.

Had my DD on 14th by elcs. Having tried both ways - water birth five years ago can honestly say there'll be no more unless they invent a third method... DD is seven weeks and very laid back. Re. Wind, colic etc, been giving the old fashioned gripe water, just a tiny spoonful but she goes immediately quiet. Doubled in weight since birth. We're using a lift sling out and about which is great but a faff in a car park! Just started seeing some other family members to meet her and she's conveniently broken out in baby acne!

Hey @Carouselfish - I had a forceps delivery, with that and the pregnancy in general, I don’t plan on repeating any of it! Glad she’s laid back though and settles easily with the gripe water.

@lockdownpregnancy I’m breastfeeding but imagine it’d be the same re volume of milk - my midwife told me that their daily intake is worked out as 150ml per kilo (as long as their weight is above their birth weight) and then divided by the number of feeds in a day. So I guess it’d increase when they’ve put on a significant amount of weight?

Yeah I’ve bought a book today on reflux etc, I think it could be silent reflux. Apparently there’s advice in there about feeding positions and other things that help so I’ll try them. He’s not really sick but have noticed he’s bringing up tiny amounts of milk recently which he didn’t do before. We’ll see what the grunter is like tonight

Hi @Carouselfish - my ds broke out in baby acne last week too, thankfully it's starting to clear up now. That's great that your lo is doing well and not suffering from colic, reflux etc.

@Embalina - ds1 had silent reflux and it took me a while to get the GP to diagnose this and prescribe ranitidine. Have you tried raising one side of the cot or buying a wedge for under the mattress?

I'll be 5 weeks postpartum on Monday and I'm still bleeding bright red! This originally tapered off in the first week and then I had the contraceptive implant fitted 10 days postpartum and have been bleeding every day since with some gushes here and there. Starting to get really fed up of it now 😔. My bleeding with ds1 only lasted 8 days and was gone until my period arrived around 6 weeks. Anyone else still bleeding?

Hi ladies. DS has been quite unsettled today and I genuinely think he wants more than 4oz every 3 hours, so just given him his feed and did 5oz which he's polished off, saves a few ml'a.
He just seems to not want to sleep today so we took him for a drive for an hour and then once it stopped raining we took him for an hours walk with the dog as he settles and sleeps when driving or in his pram. Needs must eh!
@LoveRainbow02 my bleeding stopped around 4 weeks.
We actually DTD today! First time since April! It didn't last very long as DS woke up but I'm sure we will be interrupted plenty more times to come! It's a start though! Haha!!! 🤪🤪

@LoveRainbow02 Yeah still bleeding on and off, it’s getting less over time but still happening, I’m 4.5 weeks PP.
I’ve raised the head of his crib but could raise it another notch actually so might try that.

@lockdownpregnancy Haha good work! Absolutely, it’s a start. The idea of going there any time soon gives me shivers, especially after being in a bit more pain today. Really looking forward to when we can get back to normal in that area though.

I'll see how it goes over the next couple of weeks, I think the implant may be playing havoc too as its only been in for a couple of weeks.

@lockdownpregnancy - yeah there will be plenty more interruptions to come 🤣. Need to work round nap times etc haha! I actually managed to dtd on day 9 when my bleeding was gone but I didnt have a section or stitches or anything so I was back to normal fairly quickly. I admit it was probably way too soon but we both couldnt hold out any longer 🤣.

Dh has taken lo to bed to try settle him as ds1 is playing with all his noisy trucks in the living room and distracting him lol. The joys!

Afternoon ladies! DS slept for 5 HOURS last night!!!!!! Then a further 3 hours after his bottle!
I'm now praying this becomes a regular occurrence though I hold out little hope! 🤪
How are you all doing today?

@lockdownpregnancy OMG living the dream!! Really pleased for you. We’re doing good today, got the most sleep last night that I’d got in a long time, although ours only slept in 1-2 hour bursts, but he was pretty easy to get down again once he’d had a feed. Husband is back to work tomorrow though so won’t be able to get as much sleep until next weekend but I’m also hoping this is going to be more the norm.

Got a proper nursing chair last night as well as I was getting so uncomfortable in his nursery in the IKEA chair we had. So hopefully less back ache soon!

Ah yes the back ache! With having an epidural followed by a spinal block when I had to have my section my back has been aching for a while
But it's slowly starting to ease.
However, holding my nearly 11lb DS is somewhat challenged after rocking him for half an hour! 😬
Now we are putting DS down for his naps (not night time sleep obviously!) in his cot I think we need to invest in a nursing chair, though I'm somewhat reluctant to spend sooooo much money on a chair!
If you know of anywhere that sells them cheap please let me know! 👍🏻