Toddler hardly eats anything

[Kcoffecakebubs]

My son is 17 months and has never been a great eater. He's had the odd spell when he's eaten regularly, but overall he's not great, and now it's starting to get me down and feel like a bit of a rubbish parent.

Things he will eat: smoothies, yoghurt, toast, cheese, crisps, pancakes (seems to be on a self imposed dairy and carb diet). Pretty much everything else he will refuse, throw or spit out. He will occasionally eat a whole baby tray type meal, more often than not its only a few spoonfuls. (Yes I try him on homemade, have done since weaning at 5 months, but he has never eaten anything we've made- whatever texture and consistency it is). The meals he does go for more of are things like curry chili, tagine etc - so he seems to not have a bland palette, just doesn't want to eat.

Getting him to eat sandwiches, I have to follow him round and put it in his mouth. Left to his own devices he just won't eat it. Its becoming quite a thing.

He's very active and busy, and I do feel that he just doesn't want to be stopped to eat which doesnt help. And right now all his back teeth are coming in so that's not helping, but it's not like he's great when he's not teething. Milk wise he has 5oz before his nap and 10oz before bed- always after we try food so he's not full on milk.

Any advice or tricks? Anyone else had a smililar experience? Will it one day just click and he realise you eat food?!

Watching with interest as I could have written this about my toddler. It's so frustrating and seems to be getting worse :(

@HelloRose, exactly how I feel. I don't know he can be surviving on nothing?! Dinner tonight was some grated cheese and a smoothie. Everything else was spat out or refused. So jealous if these mums who have little ones who eat everything!

Do you have a Tripp Trapp? And sit with him at the table and model eating together? And do you always have a version of the meal he is eating? Find this really important.
WhatMummyMakes and kids.eat.in.color on Instagram have lots of recipients, info and advice

Is he looking unwell? Chances are his eating more than you think. Take the pressure off and stop following him around putting food in his mouth.
Give him three meals with choices. Lots of nice finger food. Keep putting good things on his plate - cherry tomatoes, red pepper, grapes, cucumber, apple slices, plain pasta twirls, grated cheese, plain cereal, slice of pizza finger. Let him choose to eat or leave.
He’ll be fine. Sit and eat with him. No food running around the house. Avoid loads of snacks and let him get hungry.

Hi, I eat breakfast with him. But he has lunch at 11am,so I don't have lunch then. And has dinner at around 5pm,so again not with us as its too early. At weekends we all sit together for dinner but it's a bit awkward as he can't be the same level as we only have a breakfast bar- and he still doesnt eat, even if we are too.

@CherryPavlova, he doesn't look unwell. He's 15kg,so tracking over the 99.6th percentile, it's just I don't see how what he's having is enough. Especially as he's so active too. I give him a variety of bits all the time, but it's always just the cheese and bread he goes for. He won't even try and put most of it in his mouth, so he doesn't even know if he likes it or not. It's just so hard. He doesn't have that many snacks either, so I don't think I'm filling him up on those.

If he's above 99th percentile, he's getting enough. Relaxing will make life easier for you both. Toddlers don't need huge amounts. Less fussing now is likely to mean less battles going forward.
Let him be.

Have you tried keeping a detailed food diary inc amounts?

Not so much for him as to reassure you. I was advised to do this when I was similarly worried about dd many years ago (she's nearly 20) and right enough when I actually did this and added it all up she was actually eating plenty just "grazing" which is her normal and can be normal for toddlers generally

Have food available to him throughout the day, a wide variety, let him see you (and I mean dad too If he's around) having the odd cherry tomato, piece of cheese, fruit... so you normalise eating generally and take the pressure off meal times

Is he growing/gaining weight? If so that's a good indicator he's getting enough, and on percentile it sounds like he is

Meant kindly with personal experience - are you a healthy weight? Those of us that are heavier can have a false idea of what's "enough" for a child too.

I went through an experience where I started ww and realised what I was presenting dd with at that time and worrying when she didn't finish it all was actually the portion size I should have been having and I was much bigger than her!!

Honestly, do the food diary and tot it up and you'll see he's likely having plenty, you'll probably notice he's having more variety than you think too.

My first DD was like this and at 18 months I swear she got by on grapes and fresh air, it was all she would eat!

She's 16 next week and healthy as they come.
Don't stress yourself x

Three kids here. Older one was/is an average eater, decent amount, quite a varied diet. Third will eat anything and I mean anything, and loads of it.
Our second is your typical fussy eater. Only ate dairy or carbs, and not a massive amount of either. Nothing could ever he touching, no lumps in yoggurst allowed etc. Always been healthy amazingly. Today we introduced a reward chart and said she could have a star for trying a new food each day (shes just turned 5). Yesteday was a bite of bacon, she loved it! Today she tried spag bol!! Liked it! Still didnt eat loads but we couldn't believe it.
Hang in there, they seem to know what they need. Calcium is the main thing, and a multi vit

Just keep offering a variety and try to relax about it. Have a look at Getting the Little Blighters to Eat (it's a book but there's also a Facebook page with some good tips for free!).

My nearly 3 year old is exactly the same. He was born on the 91th percentile and was a greedy boy until he turned 18 months then suddenly got really fussy with food. Its strange because his weight is still just below the 91st percentile but he's a really skinny toddler now. I can't really give much advice as I've not cracked the food issues were having but I will say if his weight is steady and you think he has normal energy levels for his age try not to stress. Focus on the good stuff he eats -smoothies have fruit but try sneaking some veg in there too they won't taste it, yoghurt and cheese have calcium, cereals are fortified with vitamins ect I supplement with a multivitamin as well. I've also realised my son is a grazer so I tend to give small regular meals as well

My son is 15 months and eats better with me. He has lunch around 11:30 so even if I'm not hungry I'll have something small with him. Dinner he has at 5pm so I have it with him then. I honestly do think this helps.
Have you tried fun way to introduce new foods? I found letting my son touch and feel his food also helps.
I get that it is stressful though and a worry they aren't eating enough.
Do you give him a daily dose of vitamins?

Is he drinking too much milk?

What percentile is he on?

He’s massive and above the 99 percentile. Why are you worrying about this?

He’s clearly needing less food then you want him to have

Thanks everyone. Some good advice and reassurance in these posts. I think I'll start the food diary, hopefully that will help me feel better. He's over 99th fir height and weight and is constantly on the move, walking since 9 months, hitting all milestones - so I don't think he's lacking or not growing. He has his daily vitamin too. He has about what the NHS recommends for milk-I have tried cutting it back before, but he didn't eat any more and then he isn't the calories there.

Thanks again everyone & @Notashandyta, your middle sounds like mine- I hadnt mentioned he hates lumps in yoghurt etc too, they come right out! 😂

OP, try to relax a bit. His weight is fine so he must be eating enough. Maybe you have an incorrect picture of how much toddlers actually eat?

Maybe I do. I don't have much to compare him too. Just seems like cheese, bread and yoghurt isn't enough variety. But I guess if he's growing OK I shouldn't be worried

Yes, I agree some more veg and protein would be better - he's only little to hopefully that will improve in time. But why are you following him around trying to get him to eat sandwiches if he already eats enough carbs?

Sometimes you need to pick your battles. For a period of around 3 months my eldest would only eat strawberries, toast and pizza. Every other food was rejected. I let her get on with it, always offering something beyond this (that was never eaten) and she bored herself of the foods and started to eat the cucumber/pepper/pasta/whatever else was put on her plate after about 12 weeks.

She was a healthy weight, her diet wasn't great but she is 5 now and eats a lot more. She still has her favourites and is quite the vegetable avoider, but she has at least 10 different meals she'll eat happily now. Just as her younger brother is starting to become the fussy one!

Does he ever see you eating food, or a meal? Where does he sit if you only have a breakfast bar.
I think eating meals together could make a difference, perhaps sharing plates & he sees you eating food he doesn't, hemight havevgrown to expect food as something that someone else tries to force on you.

You say you don't eat with him as its too early, but I eat at 11am and 4pm with my son. I have done since he started weaning. He's an amazing eater. Maybe just consider eating with him at these times. I don't need to eat after 4pm until breakfast - my body has adjusted. As pp have said just put the food in front of him and take the pressure off. Sometimes (despite what I said earlier) my son only eats a little. I don't mention it! Also, you're doing great. Lots of parents don't care. It's hard when faced with these challenges... You can only offer your best the rest is down to him.

Drop the smoothies (they are just sugar) and give whole fruit.

Drop his first milk bottle and half his bedtime one.

Eat together, even if it means you sit on the floor/eat too early.

You wouldn't be hungry either if you filled up on sugar and milk and you as the parent need to model good habits. (Sitting down to eat, eating a variety of foods) and not wandering around having someone above sandwiches in your mouth 🙄

He sits in his highchair on highest setting at the breakfast bar. I make the smoothies myself with fruit, there not bought and I put carrot in too, and yoghurt. And he has breakfast hours before any milk. If I drop the milk, he doesn't sleep as long for nap and doesn't sleep through at night.

And I give him food on the move when he hasn't eaten a single thing in his chair.
He does see us eat. We eat together at weekends, I eat little bits with him at his mealtimes. But I cook dinner for myself and my husband when he is home from work, so that's why I don't actually eat my dinner earlier.

We are moving to a house soon so will have a 'proper table', maybe that will help a bit.

It's the lack of veg and protein really that is my concern, but I just can't get him to eat it. And I've been trying for 10 months!